[greatexpectations]

so i cant really talk to anyone else about it..... but ive never been kissed and im 20

i dont want to kiss just anyone, but only someone im in love with



so am i a freak? do i need "help"?

 

[Halcy0n]

No, not at all! I know someone (a male INFP) who didn't get his first kiss till he was 20 either! You're perfectly normal, my dear.

 

[xezene]

I'm 19 and I haven't had my first kiss either. :sad:

I want it to be with someone special. Only fuels the hopeless romantic....

 

[Lad]

Not necessarily a freak, but to say you have to LOVE someone to kiss them might be a bit overly idealistic. However, if you truly feel deeply about that then all the power to you.

From my experience, it's hard to be "in love" with somebody without some moments of intimacy first. I can understand waiting on sex till you're in love, but not even having a kiss would make me feel like I was dating a nun.

Maybe I interpreted it all out of context though and "love" can be replaced with someone you care about.

 

[INFPwn]

Me neither. I'm 20, turning 21 in december.

Hmm, maybe it would make for a nice birthday gift... ¬¬ Though that highly depends on who gives it to me ... ¬¬"

 

[Lettuce]

I think the world is too full of people who think everyone should be romantically attached and socially active. There are too many people who think this way, the way of 'I haven't yet... does that mean there is something wrong with me?'.

You sound fine to me. Keep looking for the right person

 

[greatexpectations]

Not necessarily a freak, but to say you have to LOVE someone to kiss them might be a bit overly idealistic. However, if you truly feel deeply about that then all the power to you.

From my experience, it's hard to be "in love" with somebody without some moments of intimacy first. I can understand waiting on sex till you're in love, but not even having a kiss would make me feel like I was dating a nun.

Maybe I interpreted it all out of context though and "love" can be replaced with someone you care about.

okay i see your point

the thing is i dont have to love them love them, but like them at least.. i could have kissed a couple of boys by now but they werent my type..

it seems to me that i might be too much of a thinker.. does that scare boys?

i know from my sister's boyfriend that he wasnt interested in her at first because she was talking about more serious matters.. but they happened to be on the same boat, for a holiday, when he discovered her value, because she seemed more easy going there. (both of them are deep people)

 

[GrannyWeatherwax]

You're not a freak! It happens when it happens
I got my first kiss when I was 19.

 

[kaycee]

I don't think I got my first kiss until I was 21...it might have been 20 though. I don't remember because it wasn't *at all* special. I couldn't tell you who it was with or where it was either.

I guess that's an argument in favor of waiting until you really like someone.

 

[rosa]

Nothing wrong with that.

If I had waited for someone I was in love I guess I would never been kissed too. You and only you know want you want. I needed the physical side of it, I don't regreat it at all and it was very special indeed.

I don't know what it means to be in love for you - and would like to know - but you are in your right to want a fairytale story.

 

[neptunesky]

My first kiss was at eighteen but it was horrific so it doesn't count. My first "proper" kiss was two weeks before my twentieth birthday. It was clumsy but hell, better than my first!

 

[greatexpectations]

Nothing wrong with that.

If I had waited for someone I was in love I guess I would never been kissed too. You and only you know want you want. I needed the physical side of it, I don't regreat it at all and it was very special indeed.

I don't know what it means to be in love for you - and would like to know - but you are in your right to want a fairytale story.

thanks for your comment
well maybe love wasnt the right word of me to use. the word like is what i should have used.
i dont want to kiss a random guy, just for the "fun" of it. i'd like to kiss someone im interested in.. not some random guy..

the kind of guys i find attractive are the indie rock types. like julian casablancas...
but i think my "being" is too confusing for guys, im very abstract aka confusing (according to people) i donno...

 

[Darkestblue]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm 24 and have never been kissed.:crazy: I've had pecks on the cheek, and have given pecks on cheeks, but nothing more than that. I'm practically a complete shut in, and have had high standards, of which I don't deserve, for a long time. I've been living where I live now for 8 years or so and still have no friends here.

My life seems horrible, yet I'm a pretty positive person. I don't necessarily feel ashamed or anything. Who knows, maybe I'm delusional. I suppose I am missing out on a lot, though. I'm just not comfortable with myself around others.

Anyway, tl;dr: you're fine.

 

[rosa]

thanks for your comment
well maybe love wasnt the right word of me to use. the word like is what i should have used.
i dont want to kiss a random guy, just for the "fun" of it. i'd like to kiss someone im interested in.. not some random guy..

the kind of guys i find attractive are the indie rock types. like julian casablancas...
but i think my "being" is too confusing for guys, im very abstract aka confusing (according to people) i donno...

Oh, so I guess I had somewhat waited, too bad he was foreign.

And just a thought, I think that you are attracted to a type that can also be attracted by a very abstract and confusing personality, and remember, guys aren't all the same, so you aren't too anything for the right one.

 

[greatexpectations]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm 24 and have never been kissed.:crazy: I've had pecks on the cheek, and have given pecks on cheeks, but nothing more than that. I'm practically a complete shut in, and have had high standards, of which I don't deserve, for a long time. I've been living where I live now for 8 years or so and still have no friends here.

My life seems horrible, yet I'm a pretty positive person. I don't necessarily feel ashamed or anything. Who knows, maybe I'm delusional. I suppose I am missing out on a lot, though. I'm just not comfortable with myself around others.

Anyway, tl;dr: you're fine.

thanks for your comment
it's interesting sharing life stories. compare/contrast.. the mainstream is out there dominating so that leaves out the interesting part. you most certainly are interesting

 

[greatexpectations]

Oh, so I guess I had somewhat waited, too bad he was foreign.

And just a thought, I think that you are attracted to a type that can also be attracted by a very abstract and confusing personality, and remember, guys aren't all the same, so you aren't too anything for the right one.

thank you! that meant a lot to me

 

[Paradigm]

I kind of wish people would stop assuming that just because the average age for "stuff" is 15-16, you're abnormal if you didn't do anything by 20. :dry:

I'm 21 and no, I've never been kissed. By the same token, I've never had a significant other (though the boys around here have absolutely no class) and I'm a virgin. Do I wish that maybe I have done something by now? Mostly not, because if I did, I would've probably settled for something less than what I deserve. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely desire someone to get intimate with, but I am not going to run out just to "find someone" to have a first moment with. I can wait.

You're not abnormal and don't let anyone else--an individual or society itself--tell you otherwise. If you want to wait, then wait. There's nothing wrong with that.

 

[Rogue Eagle]

I was years behind 'the curve' with regards to kissing. That all took longer than I'd care to admit
It'll happen, don't worry about it.

I wouldn't set your expectations so high that you'd "only kiss someone you're in love with". Kissing is necessary to reach those kinds of levels in my opinion. Ultimately you won't always know how you feel about things until you do such things.

/2c.

 

[INFPwn]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm 24 and have never been kissed.:crazy: I've had pecks on the cheek, and have given pecks on cheeks, but nothing more than that. I'm practically a complete shut in, and have had high standards, of which I don't deserve, for a long time. I've been living where I live now for 8 years or so and still have no friends here.

My life seems horrible, yet I'm a pretty positive person. I don't necessarily feel ashamed or anything. Who knows, maybe I'm delusional. I suppose I am missing out on a lot, though. I'm just not comfortable with myself around others.

Anyway, tl;dr: you're fine.

Damn, I relate to your post so much it's painful. I've lived here for about 5 years and don't feel I have "true" friends here, and blame it on my ridiculously high standards (some people have been reaching out to me, but I've accepted their attempts at befriending me only half-heartedly). And I'm pretty much a recluse, but that has always been that way, unlike the "no friends" thingamabob. Before we moved, I felt my life had fallen into place: I loved the school were I went and had a close circle of friends, with whom I still have far more contact then my friends over here (despite the fact we live ridiculously far apart). I am not proud to say I was looking forward all year long to traveling with my old friends, and made up a lame excuse for not traveling with my new friends, despite the 2 travels not overlapping. I think my tertiary Si has been in overdrive for the last couple of years, explaining the misplaced nostalgia. Still, I think of myself as quite a positive person XD

I think it would do me and many other INFPs good to put myself/themselves out there a little bit more, because how can you ever hope to fulfill your dreams if you don't even leave the house? Not trying to make anyone here feel bad or sumthing, just... it's basic cause and effect. I'm not talking night clubs & binge drinking to fit in, I'm talking finding places that stimulate you... which for many INFPs seems to be book stores and the like. Not to go on some hopeless quest to find the perfect friends or soulmate or anything, but to increase the probability of stumbling across some interesting people while you do things that you can enjoy...

sorry, I got sidetracked -_-"

I kind of wish people would stop assuming that just because the average age for "stuff" is 15-16, you're abnormal if you didn't do anything by 20. :dry:

This is also extremely important. Part of the reason why I felt so f*cked up and frustrated around the age of 16/17 was that I was distressed by the "norm" for "doing stuff" being 14-15... it was like a time bomb was ticking in my head xD luckily I kinda grew out of that...

 

[J Remi]

so i cant really talk to anyone else about it..... but ive never been kissed and im 20

i dont want to kiss just anyone, but only someone im in love with



so am i a freak? do i need "help"?

But your 20 and your complaining about not being kissed? Well I am 23 and never been kissed, but its not a big deal to me. There are many people your age that had not been kissed. You're not old yet so your nowhere close to being a freak, even if you were old, its still not a big deal (well to me). If you turn 40, then complaining would be justified in my eyes, but that is just me again. You might look like an outcast, but don't always (or never) try to compare yourself to society in terms of what people are doing your age or what they have. Forget what you see as the norm I say. I forgot, you said someone you love, then there you go. Its better to wait for that, than just anyone if you want it to be a special first moment in your life.