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Hello forum of fellow weirdos!

I am an INFJ, however I found myself rather low on the Feeling side; however, 100% for Intuition. In the meanwhile, I am moderately Introverted at 33% and moderate in Judging at 25%.

I am a college student and a Music major with dreams of becoming a respectable composer (notable, worthy, reputable if possible) where I would love to score movies (that's the only way to get noticed nowadays for composing) or simply write beautiful music and infuse it with my love for God and people and life and LOVE and release it into the world hoping it could have a hand in the healing of souls, inspiring of minds and opening of imaginations. It is probably my weak F that causes me to easily understand music theory (which is drenched in high level mathematics) however I dislike plain math (even though I can do it) because it holds no deep spiritual meaning or cannot invoke emotions.

I find myself constantly philosophizing about life and I can never shut my brain off from analyzing something to bits and trying to convert everything concrete into abstract entities that float around in my strongly intuitive mind. I sometimes convince myself that every action has a symbolic meaning or reflects something of that person's emotional or mental state. I am kept up some nights analyzing person, situation, trying to use those details to create a larger picture that I can understand! I flip details all around, turn them inside out so I can fit them in some sort of context (However, I find puzzles boring). I also find myself trying to glue together details in my life to paint a picture of how my life will be in 5,6, 10 years. Having the dream at my forefront keeps me running!

I constantly forget small details such as codes, where I put my phone, my car keys, what time my next class starts and this is what causes me to be late at moments. I am not always late, rather I am always just on time give or take a few minutes.

I am an utter goofball and physical comedy is my favorite. I think I am like this because it gives me an excuse to take my mind away from my constantly weighing the deep matters of life. Paradoxically, the physical comedy is something that I cannot analyze because it is completely concrete, unfounded and random. I strongly dislike most TV shows because I get bored of them halfway through due to all of the drama that never resolves. However, I love watching comedic TV shows that have an element of drama (Psych, Doctor Who). The TV show must be well-written and humorous (I am a writer so I have high standards!)

Speaking of standards, I have really high ones. I am most hard on myself, more so than on other people and I find myself constantly criticizing and beating down my efforts. Even if I receive a good report, I can easily find weaknesses or mistakes and tend to dwell on them. I need someone to remind me to look at the positives of my performance.

In real life, I seek to know how people are really doing, I seek them to share their current emotions and progress and get frustrated when they don't share. I love to hear various opinions on a subject so I can accumulate enough information and perspectives to accept, reject, consider, reconsider and finally piece it into my own opinion.

I am very affectionate with my closest family and friends. Hugs and kisses are automatic and desired and missed. On the other hand, with people I am not as close to I have to remind myself to show some affection through hugs and affirming words. A reassuring hand or shoulder touch from a close friend can help me more than they could ever know!

I enjoy frivolous research. For example, there were some flowers that I observed and smelled and picked and then went to my computer and found out what kind of flower they were an a few other details that I now know and have filed away in my mind.

I sometimes get premonitions. Such as when I auditioned for a solo once, I knew that I did not get it. Not because I doubted my abilities, but I had a peace in my spirit that I wasn't going to get it and it was all alright. I also told my audition partner that I just knew he was going to get the part and let alone he got the part and I didn't. Also, something else that happens frequently is that I plan for an event or a meeting and expect something to occur and then sense that it won't happen. For example, I may have set plans with a friend to go somewhere on the weekend but for the rest of the days preceding, I have this strong feeling in my gut that the plans won't work out this week. I don't give up, and its not due to insecurity, I just has this sort of impression that things won't turn out. Another instance was when I never had a chance to study for a test, however, deep inside of me I felt I never actually needed to study for some reason and often the professor has cancelled the test or some other reason.

Another thing is that I am really good at reading people. I can analyze their actions, eyes, voice inflections and know if they are being truthful, is there is a sense of insecurity or desperation, or if they really need a hug. I have been able to counsel friends, give advice or comfort that is effective because of this reason. There have been few people who have frustrated me so because I cannot figure them out. When I can't, it drives me up a wall and I can actually get angry (which anger from me is RARE) if their actions are inconsistent or a paradox.

I thoroughly enjoy long, deep and insightful conversations that are seasoned with laughter. I write to understand and organize my own thoughts. I always write too much (sorry!!). It is not by vanity that I am able to talk about myself at such lengths or tend to do so with others, it is because I am so intuitive combined with introversion that naturally I live inside my own brain and analyze my own actions first and foremost and thus I am deeply self-aware.

Feel free to respond with a "me too! I thought I was the only one!" or "wow, why did you write so much" or even something that relates to my post subtly, I will analyze it to try and connect it with the general idea of this thread even if their isn't any connection!

-Bethany
 

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