Personality Cafe banner
1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am an INTJ. Met a great match with an INFJ. He had his mind set on a belief about people in general and didn't think we would work out. The connection was there. So I challenged him regarding this belief, with rational facts. He appeared to think about it. I cut contact after several days of waiting for a reply out of frustration. Of course, impulsive on my part. He only ignores BBM and not reject/delete. He originally blocked me from FB, but now I am not. I've not connected with anyone like this before. He even called me odd! It was great :) as you all are the experts what are the chances he'll come around? I really didn't know much about INFJs until I read up afterwards. Should have just let him have the time to think, as I disrupted his belief. Any feed back? I feel like I really screwed this up and it's not repairable.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,347 Posts
Ugh, I can't begin to tell you how many times I've said "I don't think we're going to work out" and they take it as some sort of core rejection and they need to prove me wrong. I'm not saying you're a terrible lover, a bad person, or anything like that, I'm just saying I don't see that chemistry between us or a long term future together. Most of the time they say something along the lines of "how do you know for sure unless we try?" or "it's too early to know that." So they push push push to get another chance and while it's flattering at first, hell someone wants to be with you, but after awhile it kind of becomes annoying.

I'll also pa ra pa pum pum the INFJ drum here and say that I think many of us are rather gifted at seeing further ahead than most. We may see 5 steps ahead whereas others may only see 3. Sadly, it's not right for me to entertain you until you see that 5th step for yourself.

Your post kind of reminded me of this one girl awhile back that I turned down.

 





Overall, I think you're dead in the water.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,318 Posts
Could be the best relationship ever, but if someone does not feel it, it's pointless.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,120 Posts
....

I've not connected with anyone like this before. He even called me odd! It was great :) as you all are the experts what are the chances he'll come around? I really didn't know much about INFJs until I read up afterwards. Should have just let him have the time to think, as I disrupted his belief. Any feed back? I feel like I really screwed this up and it's not repairable.
Hi, Orange'! Good to have you here.

Wouldn't say the situation is unrepairable. For instance, you could wait for the next time he posts something; and, if possible, back his position. (Other times you might politely disagree. INFJs can appreciate well done opposition.) May take a while, but he could come around to appreciating your clever, insightful attention. No telling where that could lead.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
29 Posts
The INFJ motto is Only Connect. If he hasn't completely blocked you he may be 'testing' you. Ask him about the sort of relationship he wants. And listen. Don't change yourself to be what he wants though. Most INFJs want to talk about themselves but are bad at it as we don't get much practice - we tend to be listeners. But when we find someone we can talk to, we don't want to let go of them.
 

·
Registered
INFJ 3w2 Sx/So
Joined
·
3,379 Posts
Ugh, I can't begin to tell you how many times I've said "I don't think we're going to work out" and they take it as some sort of core rejection and they need to prove me wrong. I'm not saying you're a terrible lover, a bad person, or anything like that, I'm just saying I don't see that chemistry between us or a long term future together. Most of the time they say something along the lines of "how do you know for sure unless we try?" or "it's too early to know that." So they push push push to get another chance and while it's flattering at first, hell someone wants to be with you, but after awhile it kind of becomes annoying.

I'll also pa ra pa pum pum the INFJ drum here and say that I think many of us are rather gifted at seeing further ahead than most. We may see 5 steps ahead whereas others may only see 3. Sadly, it's not right for me to entertain you until you see that 5th step for yourself.

Your post kind of reminded me of this one girl awhile back that I turned down.

 





Overall, I think you're dead in the water.
(Referring to the bold)

Good lord, I hate that. I've gotten that several times. It's them pushing you into seeming like the inconsiderate, narrow-minded jerk, but what they don't realize is that they're the ones who are trying to convince us to do something that will emotionally frustrate us and ultimately be little more than a waste of time.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lad

·
Registered
Joined
·
493 Posts
@Lad thanks for posting the item under your spoiler alert. I read it and thought, which one is the INFJ? Then I read it again and was like yeah, the one who says "I could be your soulmate" is not the INFJ. This photo could be used to teach people about INFJs. :) I think when we are young especially, people meet us as think I'll never meet someone like you again, I don't want to lose you! It's rough.

Ugh, I can't begin to tell you how many times I've said "I don't think we're going to work out" and they take it as some sort of core rejection and they need to prove me wrong. I'm not saying you're a terrible lover, a bad person, or anything like that, I'm just saying I don't see that chemistry between us or a long term future together. Most of the time they say something along the lines of "how do you know for sure unless we try?" or "it's too early to know that." So they push push push to get another chance and while it's flattering at first, hell someone wants to be with you, but after awhile it kind of becomes annoying.

I'll also pa ra pa pum pum the INFJ drum here and say that I think many of us are rather gifted at seeing further ahead than most. We may see 5 steps ahead whereas others may only see 3. Sadly, it's not right for me to entertain you until you see that 5th step for yourself.

Your post kind of reminded me of this one girl awhile back that I turned down.

 





Overall, I think you're dead in the water.
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top