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New to MBTI and I think I'm an INTP. Relationships & Career. Penny for your thoughts?

So about a year ago I came across a book called "Do What You Are" by Paul and Barbara Tieger. I could not put this book down for the life of me. I learned a little about MBTI in college but never really to the depth of which this book goes into. Long story short, I have been obsessed with personality types ever since.

I find myself scouring the internet searching for more and more about INTP's and finally realizing that I am not the only one... What a great relief... Reading all of these things about INTP's made me feel a lot better about myself.

There are a few things I am confused about though.

1. Everywhere I look I seem to find that INTP's never like to complete a project or only like to know that they could. I was a very ambitious 18 year old and accomplished so much in life in the last ten years. Most forums say that INTP's usually don't follow through with their ideas. Well 10 years later I lost everything and filed for BK. Could this mean I lost everything because I am an INTP and I got bored with my ambitions? Did it take me 10 years to finally realize that I could do something only to realize that I am bored with the end result? Or perhaps maybe I am not an INTP after all... Although 99.99999% of what I read in books and online says that I am. I didn't just give up on my ventures but I am confused since everything is telling me I am not supposed to follow through with things.

2. With regards to relationships, I am terrible at them. I can never seem to break up with a girl even though I know in my heart it cannot work. It has left me in the dust in my last two long term relationships. Is this normal with INTP's? My last two relationships lasted 4-5 years each. In each relationship I would analyze how she is and see if our future could be bright. Within a few months I attempt to explain why we can't work and find out she'll change to make it work. Me being the person that I am, I couldn't leave. Flash forward 5 years later and she decides she can't handle me. Which for the 2nd time in a row has happened to me. All my friends don't understand it. Nobody seems to get me. I can't seem to find anything on it with regards to INTP's and I am just wondering if this is normal for an INTP.

Everything else that I have read about INTP's hold true for me except those two problems.

At a younger age I always thought my personally stemmed from my childhood accident. This left me with visible scars on my neck that I thought made me into this introverted thinker. When I get a little inebriated I become this totally different person. Friends call me "Fun Bob" from the TV series "Friends". So I guess I am wondering if I am really an INTP. I have never written on a forum so forgive me if I am doing anything out of protocol. I have come to a point in my life where I feel I need answers. I feel like I am going through a midlife crisis at 28. I try to talk to my friends about it but they don't seem to understand my train of thought. I was hoping that I could relate more to people who have the same personality type as me.

Penny for your thoughts? :confused:
 

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Welcome to the forums Blah. I dunno if you will get alot of good advice about cognitive functions in the INTP section. It seems to me that many posters in this section are kinda into personal discovery themselves. I would repost on the main page under 'what is my personality type?' Many non-INTPs at PerC have more knowledge on how functions work than the average INTP does, I think.

About the generalizations on INTPs; they are just generalizations. Ambition or lack of ambition would vary with the person, and I think they are meant to say that INTPs have been shown to likely act in those ways. I dunno. I don't see what could stop one from winning a gold Olympic medal if they really wanted one. I believe INTPS are interested in abstract principles that they process internally. That could take INTPs in completely different directions. I don't think any two INTPs on this forum are completely the same, they just kinda see the world in the same way.

I would have check box 3 for I have no idea :p
 

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1. Everywhere I look I seem to find that INTP's never like to complete a project or only like to know that they could. I was a very ambitious 18 year old and accomplished so much in life in the last ten years. Most forums say that INTP's usually don't follow through with their ideas. Well 10 years later I lost everything and filed for BK. Could this mean I lost everything because I am an INTP and I got bored with my ambitions? Did it take me 10 years to finally realize that I could do something only to realize that I am bored with the end result? Or perhaps maybe I am not an INTP after all... Although 99.99999% of what I read in books and online says that I am. I didn't just give up on my ventures but I am confused since everything is telling me I am not supposed to follow through with things.

2. With regards to relationships, I am terrible at them. I can never seem to break up with a girl even though I know in my heart it cannot work. It has left me in the dust in my last two long term relationships. Is this normal with INTP's? My last two relationships lasted 4-5 years each. In each relationship I would analyze how she is and see if our future could be bright. Within a few months I attempt to explain why we can't work and find out she'll change to make it work. Me being the person that I am, I couldn't leave. Flash forward 5 years later and she decides she can't handle me. Which for the 2nd time in a row has happened to me. All my friends don't understand it. Nobody seems to get me. I can't seem to find anything on it with regards to INTP's and I am just wondering if this is normal for an INTP.
I cannot speak for all INTPs and am new to this idea of typology - I have found it amazing to actually relate to others - but I will share some of my own experience on this.

1. I was a major over-achiever in high school and on the career path following. I accomplished a lot, working my way up in the accounting world. By 28 I hit a block. My passion had ceased. I went in search of a new career. Despite what the descriptions say, I think the inability to accomplish is dependent upon the passion level of discovery over drive. When I am passionate about discovery, I 'accomplish' less - at least by external standards. When I am passionate enough about an achievement, I go for it FULLY. Personally I am struggling with lack of desire in my career path even now, and it is reflected in my personal financial stability.

2. I was married for 13 years in a terrible relationship. I analyzed the relationship relentlessly and could rationalize my fault, at least partially, in almost every negative interaction. I read books about relationships. I constantly tried to ‘fix me’, often failing. Even when I knew it should end, I looked for decision making tools such as divorce statistics, effect on children, effect on financial life and career. Finally, when he told me he had dated another girl, I analyzed the cause and worked with him on a solution (which never worked). In the end, a year later, he left me. Bottom line (I believe) is that analyzing and understanding the problem doesn’t mean we are capable of ‘fixing’ it even though we think it does (‘fixing’ = changing the other person or ourselves).

(If only I had been previously diagnosed as INTP… life back then would have made so much more sense!)

Can I have a penny now?:crazy:
 

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Few people fit the type description exactly. We're all individuals. Here is a thread about our non-INTP traits. Besides, I don't think anything you have described here is really inconsistent with the INTP type. INTP's often focus intently on things that interest us, which is what you did until you got bored.

As for relationships, that must be where your hobo side manifests. I'm kidding, sort of. As long as the relationship is "okay," then why do anything about it, right?
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I cannot speak for all INTPs and am new to this idea of typology - I have found it amazing to actually relate to others - but I will share some of my own experience on this.

1. I was a major over-achiever in high school and on the career path following. I accomplished a lot, working my way up in the accounting world. By 28 I hit a block. My passion had ceased. I went in search of a new career. Despite what the descriptions say, I think the inability to accomplish is dependent upon the passion level of discovery over drive. When I am passionate about discovery, I 'accomplish' less - at least by external standards. When I am passionate enough about an achievement, I go for it FULLY. Personally I am struggling with lack of desire in my career path even now, and it is reflected in my personal financial stability.

2. I was married for 13 years in a terrible relationship. I analyzed the relationship relentlessly and could rationalize my fault, at least partially, in almost every negative interaction. I read books about relationships. I constantly tried to ‘fix me’, often failing. Even when I knew it should end, I looked for decision making tools such as divorce statistics, effect on children, effect on financial life and career. Finally, when he told me he had dated another girl, I analyzed the cause and worked with him on a solution (which never worked). In the end, a year later, he left me. Bottom line (I believe) is that analyzing and understanding the problem doesn’t mean we are capable of ‘fixing’ it even though we think it does (‘fixing’ = changing the other person or ourselves).

(If only I had been previously diagnosed as INTP… life back then would have made so much more sense!)

Can I have a penny now?:crazy:


Wow! Its like you're another version of me. Finally someone who understands my situation! Here, you get five pennies:

:happy::wink::laughing::proud::crazy:
 

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As long as the relationship is "okay," then why do anything about it, right?[/QUOTE]

I do things about it mainly because I can't help but think about the future. It's like my mind forces me to predict how I will react to certain people I get intimate with. My understanding is that INTPs tend to think about the big picture rather than the present details. This forces me to confront her about the potential conflicts, attempt to break it off and eventually get burned for not leaving. Both times I knew how it would end up but I stayed with her anyway.
 

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"I find myself scouring the internet searching for more and more about INTP's"
Classic symptoms.

"There are a few things I am confused about though."
I've been very ambitous at work but refuse to finish the simplest project outside of work.

"I can never seem to break up with a girl even though I know in my heart it cannot work."
Been there done that.

You didn't mention taking the MBTI test. I'm sure you have but just asking.

Wecome.
 
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Hey,
don't worry about the profiles too much. They're always oversimplified caricatures, even the best one. INTP and ENTP's are quite similar, just like ISTP/ESTP, INFJ/ENFJ etc. It might be even closer for NTP's since the ENTP is usally quite introverted for an extrovert. The way you talk in general seems to make it quite easy to distinguish them, however. ENTPs talk much more and faster, whereas you can often literally see how the INTP's looking for the right word to make that sentence just perfect, even when he's just ordering a burger. An INTP in 'Ne-mode' will look a lot like an ENTP tho, but 'Ne-mode' usually won't last too long.

I'm also convinced that healthy INTPs generally accomplish more than average. I know at least 5 INTP self-made millionaires below 30 years of age. If we're passionate about something we will accomplish. However, those aforementioned millionaires still struggle to do regular tasks like grocery shopping or taking out the bins more than most, so there ya go :wink:

About relationships, I don't have much experience with long-term ones. I usually tend to do the analyzing before I get too serious with someone though, and I usually find enough flaws to end it before it starts. And it didn't work out with the 2-3 girls that I know and thought we were 'perfect for each other' in a sense. I like NFJ and NTP females a lot fwiw, seems to be a great match for us INTPs.

INTP = Ti Ne Si Fe
ENTP = Ne Ti Fe Si
INFJ = Ni Fe Ti Se
ENFJ = Fe Ni Se Ti

As you can see, our functions are quite compatible. We all speak the 'same language' when making decisions (Ti+Fe, rather than Te+Fi) and Ne/Ni feed of each other very well. The first 3 are quite similar in compatibility I think, ENFJs are a bit more difficult (E/I in general, and Ti/Fe are reversed).

Type isn't too important when it comes to relationships, especially when talking about individuals with well-rounded personalities. Surprisingly, a 50 year old INTP is probably more similar to a ESFJ of the same age than to an INTJ. INTJ = Ni Te Fi Se, ESFJ = Fe Si Ne Ti. If both individuals are well developped they should understand each other quite well. Whereas a 15 yr old INTP and ESFJ would probably hate each other's guts, they wouldn't have learned a 'common language' yet.

Also, in functions language, the fact that you feel like you're "going through a midlife crisis at 28" probably means that you're acknowledging the worth of functions you haven't spent much time on yet. Since your functional order is Ti Ne Si Fe, it's one of the latter three, most likely Fe or maybe Si. So that's actually a good thing, you'll come out of it stronger. If you actively try to work on your mindsets by doing Fe-things (or whatever function it is), it'll be quicker and go better. I'd recommend this excellent Introduction to function theory to find out what it is you're doing ;)
 

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ENTPs talk much more and faster, whereas you can often literally see how the INTP's looking for the right word to make that sentence just perfect, even when he's just ordering a burger.
It's so annoying, isn't it? :dry:
 

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especially in english which is my 2nd language. im quite good, but so slow! and then i see my portugese ESFJ friend who knows 10% of the words i know chatting up people left and right and i feel even dumber haha
 

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especially in english which is my 2nd language. im quite good, but so slow! and then i see my portugese ESFJ friend who knows 10% of the words i know chatting up people left and right and i feel even dumber haha
I know exactly what you mean! English is my second language too. So I'm always conscious about whether or not what I'm trying to convey is clear enough.

Also, the more people are interested in what I have to say, the more incoherent I become. :crazy:
 
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