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Have you sought counselling of any sort or have someone to talk to? There are always people willing to lend an ear and help you navigate through the healing journey that you have before you (or perhaps in the midst of).

Was just scrolling through the entp forum to get more of an idea of entps and saw your post. Surprised nobody responded.

Anyway... humans are built for change. Things can be different for you.
 

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I'm sorry if you have experienced any. Personally I think for this, you have to go to a professional to deal with this. Random strangers in the internet are not suitable for this.
 

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I seemed to have missed this. Im sorry for what youve gone through but this is beyond my scope of practice. A professional is the way to go. Ive gone to a counselor before. There's no shame in it.
 

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I agree.. professional counselling is the way to go. But in terms of reaching out here for some input about whether it's common for it to be hard to move past and check that you're not alone, then random strangers can be a comfortable/good way to do that.

Find the right counsellor/psychologist for you.. all of them are different. You can even do phone or internet counselling if you prefer.

And its normal for it to be hard to move through.. that stuff doesn't just disappear, it impacts you to your core. But humans are built to heal... so there is a way forward always.
 

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@bazinga123 You are one kick-ass ENTP for posting on the forum. I admire your boldness.

I'm putting up some links - I'm sorry I don't know where you are, and many of them are US based but there is also an online forum to connect to people. Since in the US anyhow there is a report of child abuse every 10 seconds, I'm sure many on PerC may find them useful.

PsychCentral has forums and chat sites for survivors of abuse.

RAINN has a great system where you can get routed to local support in your area.

ACSA is an international Adult Survivors of Child Abuse site - book recommendations, networking, and support group info, among other things (I know less about this one).

NAPAC is a UK group that supports adult survivors of child abuse. Also, they offer support and training for family and friends of those who have gone through child abuse, which is a great resource if you want to help.

NAASCA is another support site that has a lot of great data as well as resources. For example:

A few statistics .(from SafeHorizon.org)
Chances of Being Struck by Lightning: 1 in 6.2 million
Chances of Dying in a Plane Crash: 1 in 400,000
Chances of Dying in a Auto Accident: 1 in 19,000
Chances of a Child Being Raped or Sexually Abused: 1 in 4
If anyone on PerC is feeling overwhelmed, down, and thinking of hurting themselves, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 24 hours a day and free - give them a call or google and chat online: 1-800-273-8255.

Lastly, this is a quote by Alan Cohen that I love, and that I wrote on my mirror when I was trying to let go of some hard stuff in my life and move out of the shadows and into the sun. I hope you all find your suns.

“We attain freedom as we let go of whatever does not reflect our magnificence. A bird cannot fly high or far with a stone tied to its back. But release the impediment, and we are free to soar to unprecedented heights.”
 

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Unfortunately abuse in its many forms is quite common among children. I can recall several instances of abuse from my otherwise fantastic parents. I still get angry about it from time to time, thinking about it now makes me wish it was okay to subject them to the horrors put upon me. But, ultimately, that isn't going to make me feel better and it's not going to help me be a better person. Also, they too were severely abused, and they did their best to not subject my brother and I to what they had experienced. All in all, I think they did a really good job of breaking the generational cycle of abuse.

I forgave them a long time ago, and my relationship with them improved beyond measure, and I am glad I took that step. I didn't seek professional counseling, but if I had, I imagine it wouldn't have taken me several years to get to that point where I could trust them.

If there is anything to take away from your experience it is these things:

How they treated you was wrong, evil even. You don't have to suffer at their hands ever again.

How they treated you doesn't make you less valuable, lovable, or less worthy. You are a human being, and deserve love and happiness.

Forgiveness is something you do for yourself. It is a decision to not allow what has happened to you have control over your life, and by extension, your abuser(s). It will take time, like all things, but eventually you will move forward.
 
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I experienced all sorts of abuse as a child.
Sexual, physical , psychological....and so it goes.
All through my childhood. Not localized to a certain
age. The abuse was from multiple sources as well.

It has played a part in setting some of my values to be sure.
It does not weigh me down by no means. It taught me quite
a bit. It may have had a hand in my addictive personality
but the jury is out on that.

Is it easier to learn what not to do? If so I had the easiest childhood
ever. Sure made my adulthood clear. In no uncertain terms.

I think, up until this point in my life (almost 40) that the worst
side effect of my childhood would be an irrational fear of doing harm
to my children and other children. In that I do not mean I am
going to do harm. I mean that I am over protective to children and
their rights to be children for fear of stealing their childhood.
 

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Without going into details*, the abuse to which I was subjected is not generally recognised as such - and is actually encouraged by the medical profession.**
I've seen psychological/psychiatric professionals
(before and after my doomed, thirty-odd-years-too-late, attempt to bring my parents and any associated medical stuff to justice - which was scuppered by both the CPS and by my sibling, who witheld evidence which undoubtedly still existed, all the while claiming I had either fantasized the whole thing or was making an issue out of a non-issue: this despite his having been subjected to the same treatment as me)
and not only were they unhelpful, but as I was passed from one "professional" to another, I discovered time and time again that they had not recorded/conveyed the details of the abuse, but rather (in their communications amongst themselves) sought to portray me as having a personality disorder and/or ADD (I have never been formally assessed for either).

(* I have filtered the details into works of fiction, but I'm not going to publically reveal where these have been published)

(** Which connects to the second part of the question - how does one move on from something one is reminded of every day?)
 

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(** Which connects to the second part of the question - how does one move on from something one is reminded of every day?)
Sounds like a trip.

Recognition, acceptance, forgiveness. (I find forgiveness to be optional)
Recognition and acceptance are non negotiable if one is to heal.

I hear what you are saying.
I have a heart for this. PM if you feel you would like to talk/vent.
I have lived through more abuse then you can shake a stick at.
I have no issues speaking on it and helping when and if I can.

Good luck with your healing my friend.
 

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Abusive dad but no I moved on. I fought back as soon as I could and he never raised his hand on me again. Fun fact is that it wasn't him who determined my Enneagram type but a kid from my neighbourhood. They both paid the price for fucking with me big time. I had been fuelled by anger for a long, long time but now I'm grateful for the past events that shaped me as I am today. What doesn't kill you make you stronger.
 

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My proper grammar kin!

( My wife always calls me out on the single "l")
Didn't think about that one before as if I could pay attention to grammar and spelling. Tell your wife that both are correct, I know it's a revolutionary concept. Most of my friends say that Americans can't spell and would molest you verbally for your nickname. I give you a pass for the Evil bit.
 

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re: my previous post - when I finally reported it to the police (aware that similar cases had been prosecuted in other countries), another barrier I ran into is that not only the term MSBP is "obsolete" but there is a widespread belief among psychologists et al that it doesn't really exist. (Well, now you have a clue as to what happened...)
 
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