Some things:
1. I am economically leftist but socially somewhat conservative / center-right. This means while I believe in free or heavily subsidized social services and education, socially I am pro-marriage, pro-family, one man, one woman, and don’t see myself as a progressive or liberal past a certain point. And my left-leaning economics are a means to an end, which I feel should lead to greater support for my more center-right beliefs. I do see a problem with the patriarchy and grew up being raised by women, but I feel gender rights advocates on both sides take it too far, and that at the end of the day, we should return to the belief that men and women ultimately need each other, that men and women should fall in love and marry and start families etc. Complementary rather than conflicting.
As an only child from an Asian background, I’m kind of expected to do it too. Fortunately it’s also something I want for myself anyway.
2. I come off as quiet, a bit mysterious, and not easy to get to know, but I’m taking in a whole lot more than what the other person realizes. I’m understanding, analyzing as I listen. I don’t call people out for their crap unless I’m backed into a corner, but I’m very sensitive to attempts to harm and control me, and by the time someone with those intentions asks why I’m being distant, I’m well on my way to cutting them out.
3. As a continuation of Point #2, I hate to admit it but despite coming off as shy, unassuming, and seemingly able to tolerate everything, I have very strong feelings about stuff. Many descriptions of INFPs paint us as tolerant saints who never impose or dominate anyone, but I feel that’s not really true. Although I rarely go out of my way to tell people they should believe something or listen to me, I make it clear in a subtle / indirect way that although they can feel free to disagree, only if they align themselves on the same page as me regarding what I feel are core issues, will I be willing to really let them in and take the relationship to the next level. INFJs can be really good at this too.
Basically it’s a kind of giving people freedom but not really giving them full freedom, if you know what I mean lol. The closer you are to me, the more morally and intellectually demanding (in a way) I become. It’s more of an unwritten set of expectations, and once again, as much as I hate to admit it, they’re pretty damn high. When I raise my voice or outwardly express my upset, I’m giving you a chance. When I am “disappointed” and silently back away, that’s when I’m at my scariest. Thankfully I’ve only had to do that to a few, but when I reach that point, pray for a miracle if you ever want to hear from me again.
4. I’m not always as good of a verbal communicator as I am a written one. When I write something down it gives me more time to think it through and say it in a way that’s most accurate and authentic. The contradiction is I often crave more verbal communication and wish I was better at it.
5. As I get older (well, relatively speaking) or rather, feel older despite being in my twenties, I’ve started to take my efforts to record and document my experiences. This usually involves writing things down and taking photos of the places I travel to, stuff like that. In the past I saw no value whatsoever in preserving any memories in a tangible way, because I thought all of them were matters of the mind. Could this be me unlocking my tertiary Introverted Sensing?
6. I spend a lot more time thinking and planning and over planning, and a lot less time than I could use to actually do stuff. I don’t readily show it but deep down I worry a lot and fear failure. I also ruminate a whole lot.
7. I’ve developed a much greater liking for instrumental / alternative music (not avant grade or anything experimental, just stuff that’s not songs) over the years. In fact I probably listen to them more than songs these days.
8. A rebel in mind, who desires love and security at heart. I’m not nearly as confident and secure of an individual despite what I proclaim. All of that zeal, all of that talk of the abstract and “big stuff” is only a cover for the vulnerable soul within.
9. I can totally weird people out if I told them all of the seemingly unrelated connections between things that I try to ponder in my mind.
10. For a long time I’ve identified with a more feminine psyche and even now I still do although my ability to get along with guys has somewhat improved over time. There’s just something in me that makes women, even on a purely platonic level, feel at ease. I’ve never seen doing certain “girly” things or shying away from “girl talk” as something I have to do. It’s given me a lot of sympathy for what they go through (even though I still see certain things with a typical men’s brain), with the darker side being that I was the one that had to console my mom and put up with her stress and tantrums. Single parent household.
I’ve never understood why being “Mr. Nice Guy” or concepts like the “friend zone” are so often brought up. I’ve never encountered these problems, if anything being who I am has been an asset.
11. Those who understand me think I’m a lot stronger than I look when they see me from the outside. I always feel I have less energy than they give me credit for.
12. I both love and hate giving people advice for their emotional issues. Love because I genuinely want to help them out, hate because I’ve been used by emotional vampires before and also because I constantly wonder whether I’m being too authoritative and whether I’m not helping them enough. I don’t want to come off as controlling (though deep down I probably am a bit) but also don’t want to feel like I’ve done nothing useful.
13. Drinking bitter coffee is a learned trait for me. Blame me for being a night owl. Overall I prefer tea over coffee.
14. I have a jealous streak when I’m attached to someone. And it can get pretty nasty if you’re not one who can handle it easily. I don’t want you associating with people I feel are too different from me, I don’t want you spending so much time away from me, and I don’t want you to challenge my beliefs and my thinking of what’s best for you, for stuff all the time. (Yes, being brutally honest here.)
15. I give a lot but also expect a lot. Never try to prove your sincerity to me by throwing gifts my way all the time, I can’t be bought by stuff. What do I mean by expecting a lot? See points #3 and #14.
16. I can tell you the biology and social structures of more than a dozen species of coral reef fish, as well as talk on and on about geeky stuff of all kinds, but I don’t know jack when it comes to handling a lot of the simplest everyday stuff.
17. I consume much less sweet stuff like pastries than I used to. I also stick to more poultry and seafood than other meats and it’s been this way for a while.
18. Robots and other technologies creep the hell out of me. I remember being scared out of my wits when I was pushed onto one of those electrical rides (or whatever the proper term is) as a kid.
19. The closest I’ve ever been to being a male soprano was when a cockroach flew onto my back.
20. A lot of stuff that passes for “Chinese” or “Thai” has made me feel like unleashing my inner Gordon Ramsay (or, more accurately, Uncle Roger). Similarly, a trip to Italy killed my desire to ever have “Italian” again.
21. If I could give dating advice to my future kids: Don’t go for the Chad or drop dead gorgeous gal and assume they got the qualities you want when you know them better. Go for the shy but kind guy or gal who looks decent to good enough, that you could see aging gracefully, that doesn’t make themselves so obvious at first, someone with a sense of humor. Then get hitched, and pop out a couple little grandkids for your old man.
Sorry for making this so long.