Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 150 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,070 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I don't mean to generalise but I have noticed that NFs are prone to being bullied, especially the introverts.
I was wondering if you ever experienced bullying and how you dealt with it and how you deal with it now (e.g. painful memories).
I think it would be interesting to see if extroverted NFs deal with it differently to introverted NFs.
And I was wondering, do NFs generally find it hard to be in a classroom environment and interact with other kids their age? I've found that this is usually the case.
Just curious :)
And as always, your thoughts on this please :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,070 Posts
Discussion Starter #2
Well I shall start off as I don't like to ask people to do things that I wouldn't do.
I hated school, right from my first day at playgroup (yup I can remember that far back).
I have recently dropped out. I can't take being in a classroom environment. I feel drowned by the bigger personalities.
I was bullied constantly at school because I acted and looked different. There wasn't a class where somebody didn't have a problem with me.
So school is not for me :)
The way I have dealt with it is leave and try and find a way of being educated, but where I can work alone and on my own initiative.
I have also remained true to myself. That's the only way that I can give the bullies their answer: YOU HAVE NOT CHANGED ME OR BROKEN ME.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
570 Posts
I find that Ns in general are more prone to being bullied, especially INs. I know quite a few NFs that were bullied, especially the INFPs.

I'm not going to give my personal story, because I'm not an NF, so that would detract from the thread. But, while the bullying never broke me, it certainly changed me.

*hugs Holly* Keep it up. Don't let those meanie ST guys and SF mind-raking girls get to you :p

From the sound of it, it seems like the INFJ (maybe along with the INTP) would benefit from homeschooling the most out of all the types. Anyone else agree?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,070 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Yeah I agree tmdg
And you can post whatever you like here. You're welcome anytime. I wouldn't mid hearing views from all types.
I was actually bullied by mainly NFs... :)
Yeah I think the INFJ would benefit from homeschooling the most out of all the types. Well it would have suited me fine :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,070 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
Ermm... they were actually.
How did you guess?
*is in awe of your wisdom*
*bows*
:tongue:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
185 Posts
I was terribly bullied as a child, so much so that I reverted into myself and became a loner. It wasn't until I reached age 16 that I seem to have come more into myself. then unfortunately I met my ex at 17 and was controlled for far too long. When I hit my mid 30's is when I bloomed and became who I truly am now..(I was also abused (as a child by a family member)- details are too far buried in me - and i know that had an influence on me... i did not realize that this had happened until i was in my 20's.... it is amazing how much we truly don't know about ourselves, or how our "mind" will hide things to protect us).

I now will champion for the underdog and demanded that my kids (who are all very confident and extroverts) be the same. They will even stand up to their father (in a good way). I know that things happen for a reason, but I don't know why I was bullied. It may have been that I was too sensitive or a loner and drew the aggressors.

Lynn
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
570 Posts
I learned a lot from being bullied. It wasn't fun, but I owe a lot of the constructive steps I took to those who punished me for being different.

Did you learn any lessons from your bullying?

Also, was the bullying mostly when you were in grammar school or in high school? I suspect it was later on in your school career, which is sadly the least constructive time to be bullied :(
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,070 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
I was terribly bullied as a child, so much so that I reverted into myself and became a loner. It wasn't until I reached age 16 that I seem to have come more into myself. then unfortunately I met my ex at 17 and was controlled for far too long. When I hit my mid 30's is when I bloomed and became who I truly am now..(I was also abused (as a child by a family member)- details are too far buried in me - and i know that had an influence on me... i did not realize that this had happened until i was in my 20's.... it is amazing how much we truly don't know about ourselves, or how our "mind" will hide things to protect us).

I now will champion for the underdog and demanded that my kids (who are all very confident and extroverts) be the same. They will even stand up to their father (in a good way). I know that things happen for a reason, but I don't know why I was bullied. It may have been that I was too sensitive or a loner and drew the aggressors.

Lynn
Hey Lynn :)
They are reasons why you were bullied, but none of them were your fault. Some people are just sick in the head an prey on people like you. But the best answer you can give them is not to change and to continue to be a good person. But that's a hard thing to do, I know. i find it hard even now.
And I think you're a really strong person. I really admire you :)
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
15,196 Posts
It has been years and years since I was at school but I don't remember a lot of bullying in school. I truly think my self-preservation skills are way too strong. I don't like a lot of conflict and I think I know how to protect myself from physical or emotional harm. I just didn't attract it into my life. Once I did mumble something to another girl on the bus (she was pregnant for the second time and was only 16 I think) I said quietly "she's probably pregnant again" and she heard it. Man o man.... she picked on me until the bus driver had to pull over the bus and say something. But I think I may have been asking for that one. That's the only think I can think of. I'm not perfect.. lol.. should have kept my mouth shut there I guess.

Now on the internet.. it's a different story. I make it very easy for anyone to find me as I never change my name. The following could either be my own *pathology* or my true-fantastic-super-duper-intuition but I always have the feeling on these INFP forums, that some of my enemies from the past, have taken up the "INFP identity" and are playing the INFP identity (let's say IRL they are ENFJ or ENTJ) and they trash the INFP personality type whenever they can. A perfect example would be submitting to a site that all INFPs like the rain or all INFPs are wounded to the core. Or saying stuff like "INFP is the worst type ever" or "what good are INFPs, wouldn't the world be better off without all INFPs?". Multiple accounts they have under different proxies and names. I view this as bullying, yes. What I try and do is respond to a few posts as "please don't include me in your hate of yourself" or "please don't use ALL, WE, US, when you speak" or sometimes I will throw the Ignore Button on them right way.

Like I said, I might be right or wrong about what I'm feeling, or, it may just be that some people I don't know, love to come into threads and say "INFPs suck" just to get a reaction. And then someone might say .. "Sily, why don't you stand up to people like that to end it?" Well, this is the way I view bullies... they want my attention or the attention of "someone". I feel like they are looking at me saying "I just said something absurd.. why won't you react?". Most of the time, I don't feel like they are worth any attention. And I hope that whatever mod is around would help out with killing a "all INFPs suck" or "there's nothing good about INFPs" post.

Sorry if this is too long. :happy:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
16 Posts
While I was never bullied I absolutely hated school with a passion! I was talking to my INFJ friend earlier about this and he said 'doesn't every kid hate school?' Maybe the S types like it more? I think I hated school mostly because I would pick up messages from people and then I would think they didn't like me, those messages were mostly wrong but at the time I just wanted to stay at home and learn! I am an extravert and love talking with people but not in a forced environment. I am going to homeschool my two boys because I think they will have more fun learning in a relaxed way. I would have loved my parents to have homeschooled me!

Julia x
 

·
Old Man
Joined
·
2,834 Posts
Bullies are afraid of different people, and people who might not think they are "thuper" cool. They pick on the smaller brainy types because of jealousy, and they enjoy the reaction of people.

In some ST's defense though, we can take playful insulting too far (not intentionally) , and hurt some people.

Bullying people also gives you power, and when you are bullying someone you are less likely to be bullied. "I'd rather tease _____, so I don't teased!"

Mainly it's just the power over people, the power they feel comes from the reaction. NF"s happen to react strongly which is why they get bullied, it's wrong but it won't change.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
570 Posts
Sily Wily. As I'm the only one here who mentioned INFPs explicitly, I'll assume you're addressing my comment:

"I know quite a few NFs that were bullied, especially the INFPs."

This is in no way a judgement on INFPs, just an observation. Almost all my judgements on INFPs would be positive, so that's one clue :)

This has simply been my experience with INFPs. Not that they are "weak" or any of that nonsense. It would also seem that many of the personalities most prone to being bullies (in my experience, ESJs) would harp on INFPs as "the other".
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
15,196 Posts
tdmg - I swear I don't remember reading your comment. Sometimes I don't read all the posts before I post. Which if Neph. Az. was still around he would say "read all the MF posts before you MF post!" (that's what his avatar says) All my INFP stuff/comments in this thread have to do with the forum that is marked "INFP - The Idealists"... that's where I usually hang out. But in the future... I'll look for your avatar now and remember you! :)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,508 Posts
I don't mean to generalise but I have noticed that NFs are prone to being bullied, especially the introverts.
I was wondering if you ever experienced bullying and how you dealt with it and how you deal with it now (e.g. painful memories).
I think it would be interesting to see if extroverted NFs deal with it differently to introverted NFs.
And I was wondering, do NFs generally find it hard to be in a classroom environment and interact with other kids their age? I've found that this is usually the case.
Just curious :)
And as always, your thoughts on this please :)
I've never met a bully in my life...or maybe I have...but they are my friends. My best friend is an estj...my band mates are estps... we get along great. However my enfp friend usually gets hounded by the estps for being emotional....i dont get hounded because my emotions are usually just introverted.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
185 Posts
I learned a lot from being bullied. It wasn't fun, but I owe a lot of the constructive steps I took to those who punished me for being different.

Did you learn any lessons from your bullying?

Also, was the bullying mostly when you were in grammar school or in high school? I suspect it was later on in your school career, which is sadly the least constructive time to be bullied :(

I was hounded and chased, mercilessly by a gang of girls.. they were brutal. this was in catholic elementary school. It was a painful time of my life... i was also on meds (think it was anti dep as the flourescent lights were hard on my eyes- think i might have been ADD but didn't know it), i had a hard time concentrating and was very talkative, sometimes blurting out my feelings and this must have made the other kids angry? annoyed? I guess the ENFP of me wanted to be friends with everyone LOL. I was also in the program where i was taken out of class for extra work... don't know why. had to go to a room for extra english/writing classes....hmmmm

In highschool i was teased by the popular girls and learned to ignore them. it got better when i turned 16, i guess i just let it flow over and around me, not absorbing it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
384 Posts
No one bullied me in school but for different reasons, I was not a bully myself, but I am an INFJ (a protector), the bullies were afraid of me, because if I saw them picking on some one I did not hesitate to jump in and whip some butt. I once grabbed a guy by the testicles for trying to shove another kid in a locker, and that was one of many things, and I really did not give a darn what other people thought of me, I did my own thing, so they could say or do what ever they wanted and I did not care. They took no interest in tormenting me.

Bullies suck and many studies show they lack empathy, some are even worse, some show that when some people see other people in pain or unhappy it actually stimulates the pleasure centers of their brain, as opposed to remembering how much it hurts, they enjoy and find pleasure in hurting others, people like that are brain damaged freaks in my opinion. Sorry if I have offended anyone but mean people suck, and they are my pet peeve in life.

Even now I will go toe to toe when I see someone being a jerk. I stopped at a gas station a few months ago, and a guy was screaming at a homeless woman that she had no right to be there and trying to scare her away. I told him to leave her alone and he told me to shut up. I got right in his face and told him he had no right to treat another human being like that and I would not shut up, that he was a low life piece of crap. I am 5 foot three and I don’t way much, I had to stand on my tippy toes to even try to look him in the eye but I could have given a darn less I was pissed.

I think Holly once talked about some people giving her a hard time , and I made a comment that I was sorry and had I been there I would have whipped there butts. Holly I am so sorry people are treating you badly. I say there is a time to fight, and that is a battle I will fight. Call them out for the pieces of crap they are, you don’t have to fight them some times just embarrassing them and calling them on the carpet for their rude behavior will make them think twice about messing with you again, they have to know that crap ins unacceptable or they are going to do it to others. Sometimes protecting yourself is also protecting other people, and what do you care what a low life piece of scum who acts like that thinks or has to say any way!!!!

HMMPPPHHHH I SAY, PUT EM UP!!!!! AND THEY BETTER KNOCK ME OUT CAUSE I DON"T STAY DOWN, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :angry:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,070 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
I can so easily stick up for others, I will fight 'til the death. But when it's me I can't follow stuff through. I'll get angry but I can't maintain it and when I have been bullied it wasn't a case of someone coming up to me and just punching me because if it was I would have had the strength to defend myself, they put you down over a long period of time until you feel so worthless and drained that you can't stand up for yourself. I hate it when people say you're weak for not standing up for yourself, it's very easy for someone to say that when they have their self-confidence and are in the right frame of mind.
red riding hood - you're so sweet :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
384 Posts
I can so easily stick up for others, I will fight 'til the death. But when it's me I can't follow stuff through. I'll get angry but I can't maintain it and when I have been bullied it wasn't a case of someone coming up to me and just punching me because if it was I would have had the strength to defend myself, they put you down over a long period of time until you feel so worthless and drained that you can't stand up for yourself. I hate it when people say you're weak for not standing up for yourself, it's very easy for someone to say that when they have their self-confidence and are in the right frame of mind.
red riding hood - you're so sweet :)
Little one, you are wonderful, look how sweet and courthouse your posts are, and you are obviously bright, don’t let some jack off define you, you define yourself, no one can make you feel inferior with your permission. Tell them off, find the courage to do it not just for yourself, but remember if they get away with doing it to you, they are going to do it to some one else. What would you do, if they were treating your sister, or your close friend like that? I bet you would get a little scrappy over that one, well give yourself the same love and consideration. Wish I were there I would yank them up and make them rue the day they were borne!!!!!

Next time they say something, just let them know that the opinion’s or actions of a person who says or does things like that does not mean crap, and a low life idiot like them does not matter to you, and if you can do it in public, that will usually put them in their place.
 
  • Like
Reactions: HollyGolightly

·
Registered
Joined
·
384 Posts
OHHHHH and if it is a guy a good stiff kick to the crotch can always help, sorry I guess I am gettng a bit riled up over this one, it makes me really mad!!!!!
 
  • Like
Reactions: HollyGolightly
1 - 20 of 150 Posts
Top