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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I know INFJs tend to believe they can build someone up to their best. Is this a reality or an ideal?

Do most NFs feel this way?

I've seen evidence of positively helping many people on my end. But how does one know they're doing it right?

Which personality type are you focused on building up the most currently?

I know there are many people who are skeptical about being built up by an NF because we are "dreamers".

I would like to help their skepticism through this thread.

For me, I'm very close to an INTJ female. We keep our minds open to each others ideas best to our abilities.

Should I be confident in my abilities even though I feel confident in them? What do NFs or other INFJs think?

I would appreciate any feedback on what is thought or felt about based on this topic.

These questions are open ended on purpose. I simply seek to learn while others learn!
 

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just let them decide. Help them in any way you can so they can grow to become better persons, but dont push your expectations or your ideals to them, they are what they chose to be an so are you. I do think some NFs are a bit dreamy and naive, but experience usually makes them be a little bit more realistic and to consider that humans arent perfect.
 

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FabledVisionist

Not the best idea as this type of thinking can bring about a lot of Ego. I like to think that I can only share what i've learned and point in the right direction. People have the right to their own discoveries and building up themselves given the right tools - and maybe a nudge in the right direction.

Unless it is a profession, I don't make it a habit helping others because they always come back for more and it's a drain. But I can see you are more talking about an equal exchange it seems like you and your friend are growing together? That is different and certainly a great idea *applause*. But to take credit for building another up I would say may not bring about good effects.
 

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I believe that anybody can build to their potential. If they don't allow me to help them to achieve it, it's all on them to fulfill themselves.
I wish I could help them but I can't control everyone's mind. (Not that I want to because it's for them to be unique:) )
 

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I think it's an ideal and reality. I have helped many people change their lives, and in fact, it is my job and passion to do so. I love encouraging and finding new creative ways for people to improve their situations. And I think i'm very good at it. I think it's about new ideas but also emotional support and encouragement.

And I think you should definitely be confident about doing so. Just don't neglect yourself too much :)
 

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Eh, no one is going to be "helped" unless they want your help. So unless someone is asking for my help regarding their personal life, I am not going to help. And while I don't think you mean this at all! It does seem a bit pretentious to say you are going to focus on helping X personality type. Kind of makes me feel like you see other people as projects? That's weird. But like I said, I don't think you meant that. lol! :proud:
 

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ugh. never you mind. :p
 

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Sometimes I meet people. And their sad or broken or somethings wrong with them. And I feel so much potential in them.

I feel as if I am doing the world a favor by helping this person. Like people have so much potential to be wonderful it feels innately wrong to not help. Helping people become betters help the world become better. Not helping people is a waste.

My best friend is a really...well lets just say mentally ill person. She's been through alot and she suffers because of it. But when I met her I thought. This person could be fantastic.

I see people as the people they could be. And I like to help people work up to that.
 
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
just let them decide. Help them in any way you can so they can grow to become better persons, but dont push your expectations or your ideals to them, they are what they chose to be an so are you. I do think some NFs are a bit dreamy and naive, but experience usually makes them be a little bit more realistic and to consider that humans arent perfect.
I try my best to help somebody be who they desire to be and allow them to choose what they want to believe based on my ideals, my writings, etc. I've found myself dreamy and naive usually when I am in my "inner world" and I'm not being interrupted, because when I do get interrupted I snap back to reality.

I do agree that experience allows NFs to see reality... realistically.

FabledVisionist

Not the best idea as this type of thinking can bring about a lot of Ego. I like to think that I can only share what i've learned and point in the right direction. People have the right to their own discoveries and building up themselves given the right tools - and maybe a nudge in the right direction.

Unless it is a profession, I don't make it a habit helping others because they always come back for more and it's a drain. But I can see you are more talking about an equal exchange it seems like you and your friend are growing together? That is different and certainly a great idea *applause*. But to take credit for building another up I would say may not bring about good effects.
I focus on my closest friends the most, while trying my best to stay away from ego. Which this is what I believe most INFJs do? Equal exchange is very much what I am after as I know I have a lot of growing to do.

The way me helping others affects people I see that they are their own person and I would not take credit for who they've become but I would take credit in helping progress.

I believe that anybody can build to their potential. If they don't allow me to help them to achieve it, it's all on them to fulfill themselves.
I wish I could help them but I can't control everyone's mind. (Not that I want to because it's for them to be unique:) )
I agree with this.

I think it's an ideal and reality. I have helped many people change their lives, and in fact, it is my job and passion to do so. I love encouraging and finding new creative ways for people to improve their situations. And I think i'm very good at it. I think it's about new ideas but also emotional support and encouragement.

And I think you should definitely be confident about doing so. Just don't neglect yourself too much :)
To see it as an ideal and reality makes sense to me. This sounds correct. Because INFJs seek for a "better world" this would also make it part of our ideal. I also see your confidence in the way you've helped people. I suppose that once the progress in helping someone improve what they desire themselves can allow this? To see that they're of more self esteem.

Eh, no one is going to be "helped" unless they want your help. So unless someone is asking for my help regarding their personal life, I am not going to help. And while I don't think you mean this at all! It does seem a bit pretentious to say you are going to focus on helping X personality type. Kind of makes me feel like you see other people as projects? That's weird. But like I said, I don't think you meant that. lol! :proud:
I agree that those who do not want to be helped will disregard our ideas and motives, among other things. They will simply not be helped by us. Maybe by another who deems compatible in their eyes in the future where they find support in another that they trust. Whoever they may be.

I definitely do not see people as some kind of project, maybe with a plan I seek to build the people I care about up. I see people for their "spirit" and their emotion, who they are. I suppose when I learn about someone they might look like a project in my mind. To pinpoint parts of who someone is and write about it? I go by instinct, what feels right. I wouldn't say this, this and this will be worked on. It just kind of happens through intuition and connecting between feelings of one another. Kind of like a reach out to someone in the moment.

Thank you everyone for your replies as of yet.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
ugh. never you mind. :p
I had seen your post after I posted my replies. I definitely appreciate everything you had said. I liked the way you said you build yourself up the most. To help yourself is to allow you to be stronger, to help those you care about the most. Do you agree?

I definitely do not seek to manipulate, when my words manipulate someone badly I feel bad. I hope I am not a scary person. :/

How you written everything showed a lot about the way you transformed after going through enough relationships that turned out bad.

Sometimes I meet people. And their sad or broken or somethings wrong with them. And I feel so much potential in them.

I feel as if I am doing the world a favor by helping this person. Like people have so much potential to be wonderful it feels innately wrong to not help. Helping people become betters help the world become better. Not helping people is a waste.

My best friend is a really...well lets just say mentally ill person. She's been through alot and she suffers because of it. But when I met her I thought. This person could be fantastic.

I see people as the people they could be. And I like to help people work up to that.
I like the way you think here. It expresses a lot of your passion in what you've said. At least, that's what I've just seen..

As I recently said, to see their "spirit" and how one can grow? I read somewhere that INFJs are attracted to down-trotted people and instantly see when they're sad, so INFJs most likely try their best to bring them back to stability the best we can. Do you agree with this?

One of my reasons of many through making this thread was my fear of being a bad person. I would by no means want to cause harm to someone because of my ideals. This I fear greatly..
 

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I like the way you think here. It expresses a lot of your passion in what you've said. At least, that's what I've just seen..

As I recently said, to see their "spirit" and how one can grow? I read somewhere that INFJs are attracted to down-trotted people and instantly see when they're sad, so INFJs most likely try their best to bring them back to stability the best we can. Do you agree with this?

One of my reasons of many through making this thread was my fear of being a bad person. I would by no means want to cause harm to someone because of my ideals. This I fear greatly..
You can't save people unless people actually try themselves. I only bother with people who want to be better. I'm only there for people who are trying to save themselves.

I can't speak for all INFJs. But I'm attracted the mentally ill because I find them fascinating. The more problems people have I find the more interesting their mind works the more knowledge they have to offer me. I don't see it as "I have to save this person!" I see it as "I can help you. You can help me." I don't go out of my way to be a savior of the down trotted. But if someone ask for help I will always help them.

But some people need to help themselves. Some people can't be helped by anyone. And its important to recognize that and realize its not your fault. You can only be a support system for a person. You can't literally single handedly save them
 
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