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NFs - Do you consider yourself a leader?

6K views 36 replies 26 participants last post by  cappuccinocool 
#1 ·
Whether we try to be a leader or not, sometimes leadership qualities are just engrained in us - we can't help but influence people and leave lasting impressions on them; and we often can't help plowing ahead in our own directions, leading the way as we go.

Among the many NFs here at Personality Cafe, I'm curious whether certain types tend to be the leader-types more often than others.

I'm an INFP and have often been in leader roles in one form or another throughout my life.

So whether behind the curtains or on the stage, do you find that you're a natural leader?
 
#3 ·
I tend to take leadership roles, whether they are direct or indirect. If no one else steps up, I will take a direct leadership role, which I do well at, because I can quickly recognize people's strengths and weaknesses and who will work well together and things like that. If someone else steps up, I just keep the group close and harmonious and I sort of make suggestions which are subtle enough that people remember them as their own ideas, which is fine by me. I typically want to have a voice in the group, but I don't want to draw attention to myself or anything like that.
 
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#4 ·
I prefer the leadership role. I think that I'm very good at laying out plans for things that need to be done and at knowing how best to get certain goals met. I'm good at directing people and telling them where their place is and what they need to do. I'm good at thinking on my feet and finding ways to get past things. I don't think that I've taken the leader role as much as I would like, but I know that I'm a naturally good leader.
 
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#5 ·
Leadership has always been the position for me, though I've no problems at all stepping back into a more subordient role if I feel someone better for the position then I or I am not fit to be in the role for the subject. Still, I feel that the many qualities that one should have as a leader I have. I'm absolutely confident in my ability to command!
 
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#6 ·
I find it difficult, to the point of near impossibility, to delegate stuff to other people, especially when I feel that it's me who is carrying the the responsibility for getting the task (whatever it is), done. I don't want the responsibility of being a "leader", the actions of others are too un-predictable for my liking, the notion that "If you want somethig doing properly, do it yourself" rings very true to me.

I don't want to be a leader and I don't want to be led. I just want to be able to get on with things in my own way. I've realised that being too rigid over refusing to delegate (or accept help) can be a bad thing, so I've been trying to learn techniques for knowing when to lead others in a joint effort and when to go it alone. It is difficult.
 
#11 ·
I find it difficult, to the point of near impossibility, to delegate stuff to other people, especially when I feel that it's me who is carrying the the responsibility for getting the task (whatever it is), done. I don't want the responsibility of being a "leader", the actions of others are too un-predictable for my liking, the notion that "If you want somethig doing properly, do it yourself" rings very true to me.

I don't want to be a leader and I don't want to be led. I just want to be able to get on with things in my own way. I've realised that being too rigid over refusing to delegate (or accept help) can be a bad thing, so I've been trying to learn techniques for knowing when to lead others in a joint effort and when to go it alone. It is difficult.
Being a leader doesn't begin when you lead others, it begins when you lead yourself. Anybody that says they don't have the potential to lead or don't want to, are effectively saying 'I don't want to be at the steering wheel of my own life', because that's where you have to be before you can even begin to lead others.

As Locke says to Jack in Lost (whose name happens to be Jack SHEPARD - which is funny because he leads 'the flock') : A leader can't lead unless he knows where he is going.

The responsibility of being a leader, only lies at you, it stops and starts there. You control you, and nothing else in this world. That is how leaders manage to have followers, not because people are their responsibility, but because they know that everyone has freewill, the followers CHOOSE to follow the leader, which means, you guessed it. It's their responsibility, it's also their choice to walk away at any time. Part of the cringe worthy moments from Jack in Lost is when he attempts to control others and deny them that freedom causing every viewer to think 'what the hell is Jack playing at?'. lol.

Being able to get on with things your own way, is the act of leading. However you will find it a very lonesome and short path if you choose to do what others mean by 'going their own way', which usually means 'every dog for himself', a very unethical, lack of integrity approach to life, which completely ruins the trust you have in yourself and the trust others will have in you.

If you are serious about getting better at leadership for any reason, read Stephen Covey.
 
#7 ·
I like taking the leadership role only because I dislike taking orders more. :tongue: Nah, just playing, but more often than not I wind up with the leadership role.

When I do take the leadership role, it's more of a "silent" type of leadership. I tend to lead by example instead of giving orders to others. I also care a lot about the relationships between my group members. So I'm definitely not a dominating presence in the group, and I like it that way.
 
#12 ·
When I do take the leadership role, it's more of a "silent" type of leadership. I tend to lead by example instead of giving orders to others. I also care a lot about the relationships between my group members. So I'm definitely not a dominating presence in the group, and I like it that way.
That is leadership. Controlling is what managers do, and the two are often confused. Managers are meant to control things, and more often than not they end up trying to control people, for some reason the whole thing has gotten twisted somewhere.

Leadership is done by example, is caring about relationships between the group members and is certainly about not dominating others.

In fact 'silent' leadership, is the only kind of leadership, there has and ever will be. Notice all the leaders who have had followers had them because they gave them the choice to follow, they didn't command or force others to follow them.

Sounds like you got leadership down to a tee.

Your name isn't a reference to that U2 song 'running to stand still' by any chance? That is a fantastic song.
 
#8 ·
Yes, I'm a very good leader.....Now if I could just learn to stay with a schedule and become more self-disciplined, then maybe I could be a great leader.
 
#9 ·
I have never pictured myself as a leadership figure.Much rather a councillor or healer type. But now that I think about it I find there are numerous situation in which my ability to analyse and oversee a situation has led people to follow my lead.
 
#10 ·
Whether we try to be a leader or not, sometimes leadership qualities are just engrained in us - we can't help but influence people and leave lasting impressions on them; and we often can't help plowing ahead in our own directions, leading the way as we go.

Among the many NFs here at Personality Cafe, I'm curious whether certain types tend to be the leader-types more often than others.

I'm an INFP and have often been in leader roles in one form or another throughout my life.

So whether behind the curtains or on the stage, do you find that you're a natural leader?
HELL YEAH!

Don't mean to blow my own horn so to speak, and I do kick butt at being a leader. Ever since I was young I've been fascinated with the idea, and I don't believe people have deep DEEP admiration for things like that without themselves having the potential for it.

Everyone can be a leader, the key is to first be a leader of yourself. If someone doesn't 'know thyself' as the phrase goes then they are yet to be a leader, doesn't mean that they won't eventually it just means that. Someone has to be secure, have boundaries, fearless, and be of strong character. As well as being able to spot the strengths and weaknesses of others. Also treating people AS people, rather than the traditional managerial route of treating people AS things to be controlled, which we aren't.

I always leave an impression on people, always. As a guy at work said to me recently when he found out I was leaving 'you can't leave James, you... you... you make this job'. It's because I don't attempt to control any other member of staff, I just relate to them, do what is in my responsibility to do and act morally and ethically right, with the courage to say NO to things I disagree with and then stand firm on my choices and NEVER EVER compromise. The moment that happens, then everyone, including those who like me, lose respect for me.

Funny you mention this because I have been reading this John Adair - Leadership & Management from John Adair, he and Stephen Covey are the best writers on this topic I have seen.

Not to mention the Marvel Civil War comic in which Captain America rocks at being a leader, much better than Iron Man.
 
#22 ·
I don't know if I am a natural leader or not, but I have lead in the past and tend to do so in general, when no one steps up to the plate and things need to be done. I am more of a reluctant leader. I much rather sit back and let the big decisions be made by others... granted I approve of them! (I know thats a bit unfair, but w/e. This is why working independently has always been my preference.) :proud:
 
#24 ·
I go back and forth on this matter. Sometimes I am positive I am a follower, but I think that is mostly because I don't like confrontation. I do however refuse to not stand up for something that really violates my values.

A trainer at a job readiness program I attended told me I ooze leadership potential. She said she already sees me as a leader, but if I really got a reign on it and used all the potential I had, I would be unstoppable. Who knows though?
 
#25 ·
A couple of years ago, I don't think so.

Now, I reckon I could be. Only if noone else is willing though.
 
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#26 ·
heh, this is one thing about which i've always been kind of surprised in my life - how people just tend to assume that i am taking the leading role, even if i have no intention to. i remember feeling utterly shocked once during highschool, when our psychology teacher asked me to stay after the lesson and told me to try not laughing by myself at certain things (like how what we're learning in psychology is so obvious), because, since i am a natural leader, the other students will follow the example.until then i would have never considered that anyone could perceive me as a leader without my own intent on being one. i actually prefer to stand aside, prefer someone else be the one that decides who does what etc, so that i could just do my thing as good as i can, but i guess that could be connected to having hard time making choices in general, especially if it can have an effect on others - because there's no way i can know for sure (like, 100% sure) that everyone will be satisfied with the choice i make. then again, if i see that the work is not getting done or no one is leading at all, i will consciously take the role - just to get done with it, and i know that it usually works really well, except that inwardly i am constantly worrying if what i'm doing is not upsetting anyone.

i think us being considered leaders must really have something to do with the nf' s charisma ^^
 
#28 ·
I tend to look for the best leadership candidate in any group then I serve as chief advisor. I don't like to be the spokesman I would much rather brainstorm it then pass my thoughts on to the leader and let them go for it. If I find the leader is pushing anybody around unfairly or not looking after people enough, I will talk to them about it and if they are still abusing their power I will as a last resort go Joan of Ark on them. :laughing:
 
#30 ·
I tend to look for the best leadership candidate in any group then I serve as chief advisor. I don't like to be the spokesman I would much rather brainstorm it then pass my thoughts on to the leader and let them go for it. If I find the leader is pushing anybody around unfairly or not looking after people enough, I will talk to them about it and if they are still abusing their power I will as a last resort go Joan of Ark on them. :laughing:


Love it! Very INFPish!

:laughing:
 
#31 ·
Well, no. I am a healer first and formost. Never ran after leadership positions, although there have been times when those kind of found me. Like in highschool, colleagues enlisted me as class leader, because the girls in front of me thought I was cute and liked me.:crazy: I kept telling them, no, don't vote for me, the more I did, the more they voted, go figure.:confused: So, eventually, I kind of won, but I went and tell the teacher I don't want to be the leader and that the person who came second is more fit for that. Which I was right by the way. Power doesn't really attract me and wih great power come great responsibilities which I did not want. I mean, you had to organize 30 highschool students when it was needed, talk to teachers and plan things with them, wherever something was wrong, liek something was missing, everybody would turn to you for solutions and help. Sorry, not for me and I knew that. Whilst the runner up, she was better at this. She was already showing leadership skills, trying to get us to socialise and get to know each other. She was also an ENFJ, if I was to type her now.:happy: So, as and INFP, I strongly support ENFJs for presidents.:tongue: Let them get all the heat while we gently direct them in the right way, by insipiring them and guiding them with our dreams.:laughing: (well, no, it didn't happen that way in highschool, but it sounds nice, doesn't it?)

Also now, I am sort of in charge of a couple of people, it's ok, but it can be tiring, all the questions are directed at you at some points, I am trying to focus on the big picture, like being able to shape things the right way, but it's not always easy. Since now it'srelated to my career, I can't just say no...plus there is no ENFJ around.:crazy:

PS: By the way, that girl really developed a great career which involves leading and inspiring and making a difference, so...I like to think me stepping back than helped her on her way to this.:happy: If I wouldn't have trusted her and thought she could do a better job than me, I might have reconsidered.
 
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