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For those of you who DON'T know, my husband is a NINE and I am a SIX. That works out really well for us most of the time, but every now and again it has it's problems. One of our most common areas of struggle is when it comes to other people. My husband is always so trusting of others and he just wants to be everybodies friend, so he gets frustrated with me sometimes, because he feels like I hold him back. I am the opposite of him in the sense that I do NOT trust...Well, anybody, and I am also uninterested in having friends or in expanding my social circle. This becomes especially true with people whom I have learned not to trust, so I then become frustrated with him for trusting people so easily and adopting random people into his social circle. Whats worse for me is, he expects me to think the way he thinks and to have the same reactions to other people as he does. He expects me to just adopt people into my social circle just because he has adopted them into his, and it does NOT work that way. I sometimes have a hard time getting him to understand that. It sounds absurd to me that anyone would be so trusting of others as he is. Sometimes I wanna wrap my hands around his throat and strangle some sense into him.
He on the other hand feels like I'm just bringing him and his positive perspective on life down, which I know bums him out, but I'm sorry, I can't ignore common sense just to feed your unrealistic view of the world. Not gonna happen. Granted, he IS right in some respects and instances, just like I am right in some respects and instances, but I feel like I compramise my perspective much more than he compramises his.
Anyways, it just drives me nuts because this is something that is always a problem for us and I'd like for this not to be an issue ever again, but hey...You're gonna have personality conflicts even if the two numbers involved are the exact same.
Ik, I have to give you guys an example of my husband's NINE perspective so you can understand why I find it so egregious sometimes. (The following is a true story...)
One day at work, he took off his really nice, $190 Fossil watch and set it on his desk. He got up and went to the bathroom. When he came back, not but five minutes later, he discovered his watch was gone. When he was telling me this story at home that evening he told the story as if he had just lost or misplaced his watch, and that it would turn up somewhere or another one of these days when he least expected it.
"Yeah so, that was my day. I was really sad to see that I had lost my watch. I could of sworn I had put just right there on top of my desk in front of my computer monitor."
"Yeah baby, you didn't lose your watch...Your watch was STOLEN."
"No, I don't think anyone at would steal my watch."
"Ok, well, you obviously don't know the people your work with as well as you thought you did because one of those tick turds STOLE your watch."
"No, I'm sure I just lost it. I'll remember where I really placed it soon, I'm sure."
"Ok babe. If you say so. But I can tell you where you're gonna find your watch. It's gonna be on someon'es wrist here in a few days when they think you've forgotten about it, you watch. So start paying attention to people's wrists because your watch was STOLEN."
"No, Jenny, you don't know what you're talking about."
That was a REAL conversation that we had a few weeks ago. And even after this conversation, I caught him on the phone with his mom telling her that he misplaced his watch at work and he was hoping that he would find it soon. -.-
I told him to report his stolen watch to somebody up there, but he didn't want to do that because he didn't want to get anybody in trouble for no reason. To which I said, "Well love, no one will get in trouble if they don't have your watch." Geez Louise, it's like pulling teeth.
Anyways, we just had another tiff like that tonight, but I won't go into all the details. I'll just sum it up in a nutshell: My husband has a coworker who has mentioned that we all (meaning me included) get together and start hanging out, which isn't a bad thing in and of itself, except that this person has already proben to be of little character. Well, my husband has decided that I have just judged this person prematurely and that they really can't be as bad as I told him I think they are. So he wants me to give this person another chance so that we can all be friends, but I've seen too many shady things from this person. I've explained to him that I do not believe associating with this person would be wise, and now he thinks I'm ignorant of how people really are. I on the other hand, just feel overwhelmed with how small minded and blinded he can be sometimes. Sometimes I wish I could make him see the truth because I don't want him to face hardships because of the perversions stupidity of others. And ultimately these things affect me now too, because I am his wife. I'm perfectly willing to admit that I have trust issues, and of course, that could always be playing a role in my opinions of people, BUT it is another matter entirely when you have seen with your own eyes, someone do something dastardly. What normal person would'nt lose all respect and trust for them? My husband...Thats who.... >.>
He on the other hand feels like I'm just bringing him and his positive perspective on life down, which I know bums him out, but I'm sorry, I can't ignore common sense just to feed your unrealistic view of the world. Not gonna happen. Granted, he IS right in some respects and instances, just like I am right in some respects and instances, but I feel like I compramise my perspective much more than he compramises his.
Anyways, it just drives me nuts because this is something that is always a problem for us and I'd like for this not to be an issue ever again, but hey...You're gonna have personality conflicts even if the two numbers involved are the exact same.
Ik, I have to give you guys an example of my husband's NINE perspective so you can understand why I find it so egregious sometimes. (The following is a true story...)
One day at work, he took off his really nice, $190 Fossil watch and set it on his desk. He got up and went to the bathroom. When he came back, not but five minutes later, he discovered his watch was gone. When he was telling me this story at home that evening he told the story as if he had just lost or misplaced his watch, and that it would turn up somewhere or another one of these days when he least expected it.
"Yeah so, that was my day. I was really sad to see that I had lost my watch. I could of sworn I had put just right there on top of my desk in front of my computer monitor."
"Yeah baby, you didn't lose your watch...Your watch was STOLEN."
"No, I don't think anyone at would steal my watch."
"Ok, well, you obviously don't know the people your work with as well as you thought you did because one of those tick turds STOLE your watch."
"No, I'm sure I just lost it. I'll remember where I really placed it soon, I'm sure."
"Ok babe. If you say so. But I can tell you where you're gonna find your watch. It's gonna be on someon'es wrist here in a few days when they think you've forgotten about it, you watch. So start paying attention to people's wrists because your watch was STOLEN."
"No, Jenny, you don't know what you're talking about."
That was a REAL conversation that we had a few weeks ago. And even after this conversation, I caught him on the phone with his mom telling her that he misplaced his watch at work and he was hoping that he would find it soon. -.-
I told him to report his stolen watch to somebody up there, but he didn't want to do that because he didn't want to get anybody in trouble for no reason. To which I said, "Well love, no one will get in trouble if they don't have your watch." Geez Louise, it's like pulling teeth.
Anyways, we just had another tiff like that tonight, but I won't go into all the details. I'll just sum it up in a nutshell: My husband has a coworker who has mentioned that we all (meaning me included) get together and start hanging out, which isn't a bad thing in and of itself, except that this person has already proben to be of little character. Well, my husband has decided that I have just judged this person prematurely and that they really can't be as bad as I told him I think they are. So he wants me to give this person another chance so that we can all be friends, but I've seen too many shady things from this person. I've explained to him that I do not believe associating with this person would be wise, and now he thinks I'm ignorant of how people really are. I on the other hand, just feel overwhelmed with how small minded and blinded he can be sometimes. Sometimes I wish I could make him see the truth because I don't want him to face hardships because of the perversions stupidity of others. And ultimately these things affect me now too, because I am his wife. I'm perfectly willing to admit that I have trust issues, and of course, that could always be playing a role in my opinions of people, BUT it is another matter entirely when you have seen with your own eyes, someone do something dastardly. What normal person would'nt lose all respect and trust for them? My husband...Thats who.... >.>
