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Although I know the thought is caused by OCD, I still fear I may become a paedophile.

I fear I'm becoming a callous asshole

I hate myself for always having terrible thoughts and bringing up/joking about dark subject matter into normal conversation because I feel my mind won't let it rest unless I talk to someone about it or just so I can make some that's annoying me just leave me alone. I wish I could have a better filter like so many others do.

I too fear loneliness and that I'll never be able to hold a stable relationship with any woman.

I hate myself for constantly seeming to let my parents down, but at the same time it's not their life and I'm in constant clash with how things are supposed to be with them.

There's probably more I can't think of right now.

Also, I'll contribute another post to bump this thread if it gets too far behind. I know some don't like that, but I really enjoy the concept of this thread. Even though it's only an Internet forum, there's something empowering about this thread.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Although I know the thought is caused by OCD, I still fear I may become a paedophile.

I fear I'm becoming a callous asshole

I hate myself for always having terrible thoughts and bringing up dark subject matter into normal conversation because I feel my mind won't let it rest unless I talk to someone about it or just so I can make some that's annoying me just leave me alone. I wish I could have a better filter like so many others do.

I too fear loneliness and that I'll never be able to hold a stable relationship with any woman.

There's probably more I can't think of right now.
Although this is the Internet, this was very brave of you. Thank you for sharing *hugs*
 

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i fear being alone yet i fear rejection, despite knowing women are very unlikely to approach me i still don't approach them

im also not that fond of big spiders (a part of nature i prefer to be at a looooong distance)
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I'm scared I only know how to charm people into coming into orbit, but get frustrated with the person I'd have to be to make them stay.
Oh wow, this always happens to me... It's a constant inner struggle.
 

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I worry that anything I will ever do in life, could have been done in a day or two, making the rest wasted. That when I thought someone understood the meaning of my life, the really just agreed with the direction when it was to their advantage, and the companionship was only merchantilism through rose colored glasses. I'm afraid that my rose colored glasses, so carefully contrived. polished and loved, will eventually be broken in one fit of frustration, and then I will have to look at the ugly truth without them. I hate that the person I see in the mirror seems inconguous to the beautiful voice I hear in my head. I regret that my actions don't match what I wish I were doing. That writing about what I wish I could do is not the same as doing it. That feeling it deeply is not a replacement for having experienced it. I am afraid that no one will ever accept me for me, and want to help me experience as much as there is left, before I am forever lost in my self made prison of fear and inaction. Deer in headlights worry about me.
 

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That someday I may seriously contemplate suicide and I won't try and reach out for help.

That I won't learn to be very independent and will always be a drain on someone else in some way, that i'll use them as a crutch in everyday life being this resource sucking parasite.

That I may find a women who mutually loves me and I won't be man enough to treat her the way she deserves.
 

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I am scared of ending up alone at some point in my life. Losing my friends and never find a partner.

I also fear not being loved. By my mother, by my friends and by those is my family I care for.

And a more stupid one.. I am scared of being fat, I starve myself most days to keep the fear away. But I can't live being fat.

This is three things that can make me cry at night and lose all hope.
 

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Although I know the thought is caused by OCD, I still fear I may become a paedophile.

I fear I'm becoming a callous asshole

I hate myself for always having terrible thoughts and bringing up/joking about dark subject matter into normal conversation because I feel my mind won't let it rest unless I talk to someone about it or just so I can make some that's annoying me just leave me alone. I wish I could have a better filter like so many others do.

I too fear loneliness and that I'll never be able to hold a stable relationship with any woman.

I hate myself for constantly seeming to let my parents down, but at the same time it's not their life and I'm in constant clash with how things are supposed to be with them.

There's probably more I can't think of right now.

Also, I'll contribute another post to bump this thread if it gets too far behind. I know some don't like that, but I really enjoy the concept of this thread. Even though it's only an Internet forum, there's something empowering about this thread.

Fear of becoming a paedophile is probably a healthy thing. How many paedophiles can say the same?
 

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I'm afraid to be my true self around others.

I'm afraid of not living up to everyone's expectations.

I'm afraid of the day I will have to be completely independent. I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle it.
Really? I spent my childhood trying to be my 'true self' because every one said, when you go to school, to be yourself and people will like you.
 

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Really? I spent my childhood trying to be my 'true self' because every one said, when you go to school, to be yourself and people will like you.

hmm, didnt really work for me, however later on i've realised...

if you be yourself, you will like you, and thats far more important than everyone else liking you
 

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I'm scared that someday I will break one of my promises to my loved ones....

That I will give into the voices in my head that tell me to give up (my life or my relationship with my husband).

That this will lead to either me going back to cutting myself, trying to commit suicide again, running away without telling anyone where I went, or cheating on my husband.

EDIT: Sorry to the arachniphobes on this thread.... I realize this is supposed to be a safe place to share fears, so I hope this doesn't discourrage anyone. :/ He's harmless, I promise!
 

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EDIT: Sorry to the arachniphobes on this thread.... I realize this is supposed to be a safe place to share fears, so I hope this doesn't discourrage anyone. :/ He's harmless, I promise!
personally im fine with a photo on the net, sitting on my keyboard would be a problem, and id be typing this on my phone instead
 
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