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Noir

5871 Views 822 Replies 11 Participants Last post by  Pure Violet
Never try to tame my expression
For I am my own true tongue
I'll not be a glass bird on your shelf
I stand dormant for no man
My love is a dance of freedom
We are joined inside our distance
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Once he told tales on my hyde
Our children play together
As children will do
Mine is fierce and wild
She cradles your weary eyes
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And this time I wept
Once laid in her cavern
Apart from community
On the outskirts
She writes
Alone
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I know it's better that way
I can't ever be whole in front of all of them
In front of any
I have tried.
Be twined with thyself dark creature
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You have a great story inside of you
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Losing a child feels like bleeding out everywhere
All at once
You think you can't survive the anguish
But I did
I decided to do more than survive
But first I vomited a lot
My mind tried to cope
I mostly withdrew
I have had the esteemed opportunity to endure many special narcissistic tortures
They are prisons of the mind
Rape
Parental Alienation
Abuse of every kind
Things that are such a part of me I am forgetting to mention
But as my body walks on
My heart pumps blood through my veins
My brain does it's best to disrupt the programming
To subvert the trauma
My soul breathes
In and out
In and out
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Sometimes all there is room for is breathing
If you notice you are breathing
Keep going
You're already doing the most important thing
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Your eyes are so comfortable
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You don't know what Jesus wants for me
What Satan has in store for me
Do not tell me there is a one size fits all approach
To anything
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I met you
You exist
In and outside my mind
A daughter exhumed
A relationship long decomposed
Please
Just tell me
Or if not
Why tell me anything but this
If I loved you
You would look like love to me
In any form you take
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If you want carelessness
Find another
I will not be less
Than me
For you
Your preference is not my problem
Your ideal version of me
Rots and crumbles
Every day
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But all the ways you enter me
Are not as I imagine
Your heart that beats inside my chest
Buried under layers of cement
Dead among a cradle of ribs
Yet no place sustains the shards of truth
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