[Namaste]

Supposedly Se users are skilled at reading non-verbal cues. Could you give me examples of how this interacts with Ti/Fi?

 

[Capsicum]

Se pretty much does the whole job.

Though Ti may be more impartial than Fi in acting on those conclusions.

 

[DJArendee]

I'm approaching a girl, she looks at me briefly, folds her arms and faces the opposite direction. Se (gut instinct) says uh oh, turn around and walk the other way, it aint happenin tonight.

 

[ThoughtProcess]

I'm talking to someone who's complimenting me. I notice that their smile is plastered on and their eyes are saying they don't want to be there. Ti kicks in and says "why is this person lying to me, what could their motivation possibly be?".

Another instance. I was having a rather heated discussion once and the guy put his finger right in my face while yelling, so I pushed it away while saying "get your f***ing finger out of my face". His hand dropped to his side and clenched into a fist, his shoulder started rolling forward as his fist came straight up his body. Ti said "he's throwing a punch, hit hard, hit fast, hit first" and he was unconscious on his feet before his punch got halfway to me.

 

[DJArendee]

That's impressive, although my first reaction would be to matrix dodge left. I'm actually kinda scared of punching people for fear of doing serious damage. Perhaps that's a personal flaw of mine.

 

[ThoughtProcess]

That's impressive, although my first reaction would be to matrix dodge left. I'm actually kinda scared of punching people for fear of doing serious damage. Perhaps that's a personal flaw of mine.

Thanks. I've blocked/dodged a few punches before even processing them. It was like "whoa, WTF just happened?" :laughing:

I have the same fear, which is why I won't hit anyone unless I have no other choice. The first time I hit someone I knocked nine of their teeth loose and made their shirt look like it had a dark red bib. I was five and the other person was an older girl that was hitting me in the head with a large tree branch. She ran home, screaming, and her mom looked at me like I was an animal. I just shrugged and said "I asked her to stop and she didn't, so I hit her back".

A similar thing happened when I was testing for my green belt. In Tang Soo Do we practice all of our techniques at full power and full speed, stopping a literal fraction of an inch away from our training partner. Well, my free-sparring partner for the test was a female, who was about my age, and she let her guard drop. I saw a perfect opening and was going to throw a reverse punch that stopped right in front of her face, to wake her up. I forgot to account for the thickness of the glove and popped her right in the nose, with a fairly light punch. She started bleeding from both nostrils, both eyes went black, and she says I might have broken her nose. I felt really bad and she was pissed. My instructors actually had to tell me to get back into the fight because all I was doing was blocking and dodging.

The guy from the story earlier only got hit once and he had a black eye for almost five weeks, along with a tear in his cheek from the contact which left a scar.

I really don't like hitting people because I know exactly what I can do...and I'm not exactly Hulk strong, either.

 

[Darner]

I never know if I'm capable of reading non-verbal cues. It happens extremely often that I'm in a group, somebody else drops by and says something completely harmeless and the moment s/he leaves, all the others (usually women) start attacking this person, their attitude, their posture, all the mean things this person said ... and I'm always like "WTF? I was right there! When did this happen??" I usually think it's because this "slanderers" just see conspiracy theories all around or do I really just suck in this?

 

[kernel panic]

I never know if I'm capable of reading non-verbal cues. It happens extremely often that I'm in a group, somebody else drops by and says something completely harmeless and the moment s/he leaves, all the others (usually women) start attacking this person, their attitude, their posture, all the mean things this person said ... and I'm always like "WTF? I was right there! When did this happen??" I usually think it's because this "slanderers" just see conspiracy theories all around or do I really just suck in this?

Sounds similar to me.

I don't trust my judgement when it comes to non-verbal cues.

I am very observant to the world around me. I see movement out of the corner of my eye and can catch falling objects with snap reflexes, and generally have very good spatial awareness. If I'm out in public I people watch, and see interactions go on.

When it comes to actually interacting with someone directly though, I'll catch all of their non-verbal cues, but I also don't know how to interpret them. I think part of it is that even though I see them, I don't trust them and don't feel like I can make a judgement on what they were trying to convey non-verbally. The only thing I trust is direct verbal communication. This is why it usually takes the woman to make the first move on me.

A lot of the times I'll have a woman hit on me but I won't even notice and it will be the people around me to point out that she's attracted to me.

 

[Functianalyst]

There is an old saying, it's not what you say, but what you are not saying.....SP types pick up these non-verbal cues instantly.

SP: (noticing despondency) You okay?
Other type: I'm fine... (as they fold their arms or show a melancholic face).
SP: (makes a mental note)Leave them alone.....

ESPs are the kings/queens of picking up on non-verbal cues that allows them to to consider a tactical maneuver to either move pass the defense or at least gauge their tone to match the current mood (hence the chameleon-like tendencies of SP types). Is it no wonder that ESTP type descriptions generally reference to a need to "tone it down" based on the ambiance of a group?

 

[Seralya]

I never know if I'm capable of reading non-verbal cues. It happens extremely often that I'm in a group, somebody else drops by and says something completely harmeless and the moment s/he leaves, all the others (usually women) start attacking this person, their attitude, their posture, all the mean things this person said ... and I'm always like "WTF? I was right there! When did this happen??" I usually think it's because this "slanderers" just see conspiracy theories all around or do I really just suck in this?

My cue recognition is broken, too. I once had talked with a co-worker of mine a good while, when the office Barbie comes in and says to her: "your stomach is bigger now". My thought process was pretty much this: "According to the social rules that's insulting, if she isn't pregnant. Still Barbie isn't being attacked." A quick look down: "Yup. She's pregnant."

I don't know who dates whom, who is angry at whom, or how much I can say to people without them getting pissed. I don't know why people say the things they do. I never notice the above mentioned "plastered smiles" and stuff like that, or if I do, I just think "I don't like being around that kind of people". It's like I would be playing a game without knowing the rules. I'm not very interested in people, though, and I don't understand feelings at all.

 

[TreeBob]

It is my belief that if SP users want to be able to interpret nonverbal (even verbal) cues, we need to learn to trust/enhance our gut instinct (Ni). Reading between the lines to me is Ni. Se users take in cues and can see possibilities between the lines but we don't trust our instinct enough to react. The reason why Primary Ni users come off as psychic sometimes is because they are trusting their gut (Ni) like we trust our sight (Se).

I think both NJ and SP users can be the best "guessers" of all the types.

Ni users = Great gut, poor cues
Se users = Great cues, poor gut

From that I think Se users take in more data before making a decision and Ni users make a decision based on limited data and fill it in with the "best" possibility. I don't think either is more efficient then the other honestly. Both groups would benefit from enhancing Se or Ni.

I have been trying to trust my instincts a lot more in the past couple years but it is hard to force myself to go with my gut at times. An example for me is regarding women. I typically will not go with my gut at first. I will interact with them and take in cues. If I think that I have a candidate and it still isn't obvious I will set up situations that will bring out a result that I want. This is manipulation on my part but harmless manipulation because if it works we both get what we wanted and if it doesn't work the other person has no idea what I was trying to do.

 

[calmgreen]

Well when I'm serving someone at a checkout I can predict how the transaction will go just from the way the customer makes me feel (Fi) e.g. whether they'll want their change, whether they'll throw a tantrum if I ask for ID. I get it right most of the time. Se probably helps. I can also tell if someone's lying, whether their smile is genuine, what type of thought is going on behind their head etc.

I'm sure most people are good at picking up non-verbal cues, though.