[cosmos]

Why are nosy people always in other people's business? This is just my personal observation, but it seems like the more I want to be left alone, the more nosy people want to see what I'm up to - even if its nothing at all.

I'll totally admit that they irritate me, but I can't really say why. How do you deal with those people that inject themselves into your life (uninvited), and what's your opinion as to why they do it?

 

[wonderfert]

I usually give them a warning. After that I show obvious contempt. It's not the most eloquent solution but it tends to work. If it doesn't, I do what I can to limit my interaction with them.

 

[antiant]

I go into this staunch ignore mode, where I don't even speak. The majority of people can usually tell by my behavior that I don't want to speak, but then again that's kind of always my behavior, it works really well and I love the fact that I can emit that to people. Once in awhile, when I get a retard who can't read body language very well and wants to constantly try to talk to me, I'll start looking for spaces/exits in which I can evade and avoid and that also works for me quite well. You definitely need ninja skills for situations like these, it requires stealth, strategy, knowing your exits at all times, disappearing and then a covert phrase like "Hey, I'm going to the bathroom," or no phrase at all. I have mastered these particular ninja skills very well, so I hardly experience this situation anymore. :laughing:

 

[calliope]

These are, I assume, social types who want to engage. I just answer the question directly. For some reason the mundane activities that I do on my own time are incomprehensible to the average social person. So a truthful answer shuts them up and they have no idea what to say next. Problem solved. This one works best. "So, what are you up to this weekend?" Answer: "Birdwatching." They have no idea what to do with this, so conversation over.

It works fine for almost any answer to a question. If I don't put my responses into social format through word choice, intonation and body language, that alone stops even the most invasive questioner. I make people uncomfortable unless I work to not. So this is never a problem for me.

 

[curious0610]

By "people," do you mean friends, family friends, family, coworkers, etc? Or... strangers?!

Because I relate to this - wanting to be left the hell alone sometimes. But if it's close friends or family, or even coworkers, I think sometimes they need something to signify that the recluse period has begun. And I think it's fair to give some kind of heads up or indicator (subtle or blunt), that I need some space. I have to remind myself of this all the time, but people don't read minds so sometimes they need things spelled out for them.

 

[HannibalLecter]

I'm considered somewhat nosy. Usually because I want to understand these humans for my report back to Ors--- because I like people... [?]

 

[dalsgaard]

Why are nosy people always in other people's business? This is just my personal observation, but it seems like the more I want to be left alone, the more nosy people want to see what I'm up to - even if its nothing at all.

I'll totally admit that they irritate me, but I can't really say why. How do you deal with those people that inject themselves into your life (uninvited), and what's your opinion as to why they do it?

The more I want to be left alone, the more people seem to be interested in what I'm doing. I suppose it's typical of the social animal, usually when people stay to themselves they have something good in their hands that they don't want to share.

It's a little ridiculous though. There are a couple of women who think I'm this mysterious guy who they all want to get to know. It's not a problem if they only talk to me once in a while, but when I eat or sit in front of a computer at school I want to be left alone. I'm not trying to be this mystical and dreamy lone ranger with a deep secret, some people just interpret me that way because I'm fairly good at socializing but choose not to.

Oh well. Just remember that this is a luxury problem. Most types would love to have others deeply interested in them. It's usually quite harmless and you can just hide a place where you know they won't look. It only begins to become problematic when you get stalked.... I had a girl with borderline follow me for a couple of weeks once....

 

[Filo]

I normally am very chatty about trivial things in my life. This means that all the stuff that truly matters is completely under the radar. It works great, you can pretend to be social, while in fact, they know nothing about you at all - in fact, they might get the wrong impression.

 

[cosmos]

By "people," do you mean friends, family friends, family, coworkers, etc? Or... strangers?!

That's a good question. I was thinking mainly about strangers or competitive co-workers; those people who dig deeply into my business with absolutely no goal in mind but to satisfy their curiosity.

The only thing I really have to hide is that my thinking and my ideas are far reaching and all-encompassing, and I don't like to expose them until they are fully formed; otherwise, feelings could get hurt or, more often, my intentions will be misunderstood. So I guess it's the process and materials I use to get to my conclusions that I'm protective of, because I just feel like they are private.

Maybe I'm being old-fashioned, but it just seems incredibly rude to me when someone I'm barely familiar with (or not familiar at all) wants to know about this very personal side of me, and when I resist, it's like waving a red flag at a bull - they just can't leave it alone. I guess that's the trait that irritates me. With family or close friends, there's at least that familiarity and consideration, a mutual respect, or understanding, so that I'm not irritated.

Is this just how a different personality type naturally acts, and I'm overreacting?

 

[kiwigrl]

I'm considered somewhat nosy. Usually because I want to understand these humans for my report back to Ors--- because I like people... [?]

You what? I'm sorry I think there's a typo there... it says you like people. :laughing:

 

[Filo]

You what? I'm sorry I think there's a typo there... it says you like people. :laughing:

He does, with fava beans and a nice Chianti

(sorry, couldn't resist).

 

[Eternal Realm]

I can't stand people that interfere with me on a social level (i.e., by trying to get me to be more social). My mother (an extrovert) habitually employs this tactic, and fails miserably. Not only does it make me angry with her, but it also makes me defend my territory---namely, my peopleless room, save for myself---even more stringently.

 

[dalsgaard]

I can't stand people that interfere with me on a social level (i.e., by trying to get me to be more social). My mother (an extrovert) habitually employs this tactic, and fails miserably. Not only does it make me angry with her, but it also makes me defend my territory---namely, my peopleless room, save for myself---even more stringently.

Yes, the mentors. I've had two people who suddently took it upon themselves to teach me how to go to parties and "not be a loser". Those kind of situations never end well.

 

[pmj85]

I'm not nosey but I do ask people if they'd like to talk about what's on their mind if something is clearly troubling them. If they don't, I simply cease and desist but remind them that if they need an ear, I'm there.

I have INTJ friends and I find you guys intriguing. Someone in this thread (sorry, I'm hopeless with names) mentioned how they talk about trivial things to appear social but in reality remain a complete mystery. That's a tactic I've seen my friends use. On the whole it is quite effective :tongue:

 

[G0dzuki]

My Mother is like this about everything I do. This annoys me but not fully. The most annoying part is when she talks to my Grandmother (every single day) and has to update her and tell her every single thing that I have done or said. I also really hate gossip. Apparently my mother found out that someone at her work was thinking about quitting, so right when she gets home she calls a friend who also works with her and said something like "Okay, you didn't hear this from me, but guess what I heard." It pisses me off so much.

 

[Havoc]

I can usually understand where nosy people are coming from, all too often it's just from the fact that i don't often display emotion or contentedness on my face and they assume i am miserable because of this. If they insist on speaking at length with me i can quite easily put up my social face and play along with them and try to look a bit happier so they stop bothering me.

If they know me better than that or are friends with me they are much more likely to know i'm just being me and just talk to me normally instead of trying to solve my imaginary problems which i prefer tbh. But in the end i don't care either way because i already know how i can sometimes look to people on the outside and i take it with a pinch of salt and a smile.