My flat mate left me in October who’s money I relied on to help pay my rent. I cannot find a replacement flat mate, Many have been interested but nothing confirmed
Not paid rent and bills for two months
I cannot concentrate: I feel really flat and lost, I would even go as far as saying that I feel like I have been shattered into a million pieces. I’m not sleeping very well. I don't feel stressed nor depressed but I don't feel right, I feel vulnerable, angry, frustrated, anxious and chaotic. I have periodic bursts of energy and I feel bright and shiny again but that wanes after an hour or so
I start reading, painting, playing guitar, watching a film, listening to music and I stop after a short while, I seem to have lost my enthusiasm for life
Today I started watercolouring my Christmas cards, I set out all my art materials, prepared the paper and drew the Christmas scenes but I made one mistake and couldn't continue.
I am avoiding going out, any excuse not to go to get food and fresh air. I don't wash or clean my home, I wasn't great at this but now its worse
I seem to be focused on coding. Html5, CSS and python just to while away the hours writing a web site in python that I will never use. I wrote one website for a local charity years ago.
Today I installed Parrot OS and configured all the pen testing programs on my spare laptop. A complete waste of time and effort. I know how to do these things but they have never been a priority for me and I don't even like coding
I am volunteering at the local psychotherapy service for one hour, one evening a week, with an old client who I have been seeing for years. I do clean myself up for this
I do briefly read he guardian online and come here but that is all I do
My therapist is on her annual leave and will be back mid January
Has anyone else been through this?
Any ideas as to how I might regain my concentration and enthusiasm for life again and dig myself out of this hole?
Your guidance would be much appreciated