[billymark]

So I have a question involving an esfp friend of mine. I'm simply trying to understand what is going on in my friends head.

A girl called him that he hasn't seen in > 1 year. She was recently fired and moving back home, stopping to see my friend first for a few days before she goes. She has a boyfriend but was incredibly flirtacious to everyone in the room, best I could tell.

She slept over that night with him and the three of us hung out for a bit the next day. Lots of alcohol later, her and I have some serious sexual tension going and I can tell that he's getting pretty pissed at it. I tried to put my best forcefield up but wound up succumbing to her later that night. It hurt my friend pretty badly and now he's fuming in his neighboring apartment, breaking his schedule every once in a while to come give me a piece of his mind.

I've seen plenty of situations like this in the past where a girl can't choose and the dude thinks with his other head more than his proper one. I've apologized and offered condolences but he will have no part of it. I know things will eventually blow over but I'm very curious as to why he got so attached to this girl so quickly? What are some possibilities for what is going through his head? I just don't understand.

thanks for any responses.

 

[Marac]

So I have a question involving an esfp friend of mine. I'm simply trying to understand what is going on in my friends head.

A girl called him that he hasn't seen in > 1 year. She was recently fired and moving back home, stopping to see my friend first for a few days before she goes. She has a boyfriend but was incredibly flirtacious to everyone in the room, best I could tell.

She slept over that night with him and the three of us hung out for a bit the next day. Lots of alcohol later, her and I have some serious sexual tension going and I can tell that he's getting pretty pissed at it. I tried to put my best forcefield up but wound up succumbing to her later that night. It hurt my friend pretty badly and now he's fuming in his neighboring apartment, breaking his schedule every once in a while to come give me a piece of his mind.

I've seen plenty of situations like this in the past where a girl can't choose and the dude thinks with his other head more than his proper one. I've apologized and offered condolences but he will have no part of it. I know things will eventually blow over but I'm very curious as to why he got so attached to this girl so quickly? What are some possibilities for what is going through his head? I just don't understand.

thanks for any responses.

I once introduced a friend of mine to a girl I really liked (it was in the early stages, but we sort of had a thing going on).

He then started flirting with her really aggressively and ended up seducing her and sleeping with her.

I was really pissed. Sure, I guess it was my own fault for not stepping up to the challenge, but that is not something that friends do.

So yeah, he is just really angry with you. Give him some time and hopefully he will forgive you.

NOTE: I am not saying you did you did anything as bad as my "friend" did or that he has a valid reason for being upset.

 

[billymark]

I once introduced a friend of mine to a girl I really liked (it was in the early stages, but we sort of had a thing going on).

He then started flirting with her really aggressively and ended up seducing her and sleeping with her.

I was really pissed. Sure, I guess it was my own fault for not stepping up to the challenge, but that is not something that friends do.

So yeah, he is just really angry with you. Give him some time and hopefully he will forgive you.

NOTE: I am not saying you did you did anything as bad as my "friend" did or that he has a valid reason for being upset.

Yea, I'm really just trying to see if he has a valid excuse for being mad. I'm pretty sure something similar has happened to me in the past but my reaction was more towards her than my friend who did it. I didn't blame that guy at all.

I hate my penis.

Thanks for the response.

 

[armika_armika]

HEY! Don't Ever Hate Your Penis. Ever. LOL:tongue:

Actually... I don't think you did something wrong. I mean, she had a boyfriend, so how could your esfp friend even be thinking of/ planning getting in bed with her? OK, so he was jealous and maybe he wanted her, but it's not like he "owns" the right to her. If she prefers you, then.... well, I don't think she would have slept with him anyway. But that's just some feeling I've got from the whole story.

If she meant so much to him and he was really hoping for something more, I think he should have told you that before, he can't just assume that you would know something like that.

When it comes to have "valid excuse" for feeling mad, honey... emotions simply don't work like that. They're illogical, irrational, mind disturbing and to a great extent completely uncontrolable. That's the very nature of emotions.

If he really is an esfp, I believe he will "forgive" whatever he think there's to forgive and he will calm down and still be your friend. Just tell him you're sorry you've hurt him and that you didn't understand that what you did would hurt him so.

best of luck and I hope everything works out between you guys!!!!!!

 

[billymark]

HEY! Don't Ever Hate Your Penis. Ever. LOL:tongue:

Actually... I don't think you did something wrong. I mean, she had a boyfriend, so how could your esfp friend even be thinking of/ planning getting in bed with her? OK, so he was jealous and maybe he wanted her, but it's not like he "owns" the right to her. If she prefers you, then.... well, I don't think she would have slept with him anyway. But that's just some feeling I've got from the whole story.

If she meant so much to him and he was really hoping for something more, I think he should have told you that before, he can't just assume that you would know something like that.

When it comes to have "valid excuse" for feeling mad, honey... emotions simply don't work like that. They're illogical, irrational, mind disturbing and to a great extent completely uncontrolable. That's the very nature of emotions.

If he really is an esfp, I believe he will "forgive" whatever he think there's to forgive and he will calm down and still be your friend. Just tell him you're sorry you've hurt him and that you didn't understand that what you did would hurt him so.

best of luck and I hope everything works out between you guys!!!!!!

Thanks for the support. haha, we eventually had a heart to heart at yet another one of my esfp friend's birthday party. Everything is cool again. Thank you for the concern also.


And I will forever be fighting with my penis. The guy simply has a mind of his own and usually suffers from either not enough blood or entirely too much. It's like being friends with a manic-depressive tumor or something...

 

[armika_armika]

A maniac-depressive tumor, LOL, you made me look upon the male member in a totally new way! Didnt think that was possible!

I'm glad your on good foot with each other again!!!!!!!! "And everything worked out for the best and the two friends lived happily ever after!":kitteh: