I hesitated before posting this post, and I think that I should have hesitated a little more. I hadn't quite realized how tired a topic this is on this site, how many people are sick of reading about it. I apologize. The words that have been said in reply so far are mostly true, and I think that most of the people who write things like I have written recognize that truth. As I'm sure you can relate, there are darker moments in our psyche some days than others. But in those dark moments, when I cry in my mind, I seek a refuge and a way to release, to seek sympathy. I suppose I shouldn't, so I'll keep this sap off of the boards. There's even a spinoff thread complaining about this thread.
I know, I get it. You've made your point. It was actually a point we already knew.
As an INFP male, I struggle with an issue that I'm sure plagues many of my fellow INFP brethren. First, we have high ideals when it comes to our pursuit of women. Second, we do not fit the stereotypical male image, and hence have difficulty getting women to be reciprocally interested, even if we do manage to find one that we like.
Having been turned down by yet another girl, she insisting that we're "only friends", I have begun my ritualistic self dissection, an introspective attack on my being. I find blame in every fiber of my identity as the cause of women rejecting me in preference for friendship.
I see commercials like these, and realize that I'm not the type of guy girls swoon over. Do these commercials bother any of you? I think they're funny, yet deeply disturbing for someone who does not live up to the physical nor sociological standard therein set.
There is a part of me that really wants to be like these guys. Brutally masculine. I'd surely get all the girls, then. Or I'd at least get one of them. But I'm trapped in my being, trapped in myself, no escape, nobody else I can be. Trapped alone. I feel as though I'm doomed, being the antithesis of the man that women seem to want.
I ask my fellow man, "How do I get the girl?", and the answer has been, "Just be yourself!". What my respondent seems to misunderstand is that this very advice is the recipe for my own failure! It seems to be the cruelest of suggestions, almost a command and promise of nonsuccess and disappointment. Do you not know who I am, Charles?
I've been told that once women get into their 30s, they realize they've needed guys like us all along. They eventually learn that the stereotype they chase is often full of empty promise. But so cruel a lonely path we walk while waiting for them to see it. And so torn and battered are their hearts by the time we hold them, that ours would break in empathy for their hurt.
Perhaps some of you other males will identify with some test results I took recently. Some of you might recognize them from a singles site PC used to link to.
"Personality Defect Test"
Emo Kid
You are 43% Rational, 43% Extroverted, 0% Brutal, and 43% Arrogant.
You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. (And Jesus almost never pukes, being immortal and not requiring an act of puke to dispell toxins from his corporeal manifestation.) If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being that go something like this:
life is a spike / upon which i have impaled mysefl / fuck you dad
So, your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited. Plus, your poetry really upsets your father.
I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.
"Why Are You Single Test"
Male Best Friend
You scored 21 despair, 50 relationship potential, 75 feelings, and 100 patience
You're always there, you're nice, you're the shoulder to cry on, you get along just fine, why won't she/he date you? you're the "male best friend"
DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
This clearly is the antithesis of the "world's most interesting man" or the "Old Spice" guy. Is there a problem with that? Is it too much to want, to be loved for who I am? Does anyone else feel as hopeless?
I know, I get it. You've made your point. It was actually a point we already knew.
As an INFP male, I struggle with an issue that I'm sure plagues many of my fellow INFP brethren. First, we have high ideals when it comes to our pursuit of women. Second, we do not fit the stereotypical male image, and hence have difficulty getting women to be reciprocally interested, even if we do manage to find one that we like.
Having been turned down by yet another girl, she insisting that we're "only friends", I have begun my ritualistic self dissection, an introspective attack on my being. I find blame in every fiber of my identity as the cause of women rejecting me in preference for friendship.
I see commercials like these, and realize that I'm not the type of guy girls swoon over. Do these commercials bother any of you? I think they're funny, yet deeply disturbing for someone who does not live up to the physical nor sociological standard therein set.
There is a part of me that really wants to be like these guys. Brutally masculine. I'd surely get all the girls, then. Or I'd at least get one of them. But I'm trapped in my being, trapped in myself, no escape, nobody else I can be. Trapped alone. I feel as though I'm doomed, being the antithesis of the man that women seem to want.
I ask my fellow man, "How do I get the girl?", and the answer has been, "Just be yourself!". What my respondent seems to misunderstand is that this very advice is the recipe for my own failure! It seems to be the cruelest of suggestions, almost a command and promise of nonsuccess and disappointment. Do you not know who I am, Charles?
I've been told that once women get into their 30s, they realize they've needed guys like us all along. They eventually learn that the stereotype they chase is often full of empty promise. But so cruel a lonely path we walk while waiting for them to see it. And so torn and battered are their hearts by the time we hold them, that ours would break in empathy for their hurt.
Perhaps some of you other males will identify with some test results I took recently. Some of you might recognize them from a singles site PC used to link to.
"Personality Defect Test"
Emo Kid
You are 43% Rational, 43% Extroverted, 0% Brutal, and 43% Arrogant.
You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. (And Jesus almost never pukes, being immortal and not requiring an act of puke to dispell toxins from his corporeal manifestation.) If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being that go something like this:
life is a spike / upon which i have impaled mysefl / fuck you dad
So, your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited. Plus, your poetry really upsets your father.
I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.
"Why Are You Single Test"
Male Best Friend
You scored 21 despair, 50 relationship potential, 75 feelings, and 100 patience
You're always there, you're nice, you're the shoulder to cry on, you get along just fine, why won't she/he date you? you're the "male best friend"
DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
This clearly is the antithesis of the "world's most interesting man" or the "Old Spice" guy. Is there a problem with that? Is it too much to want, to be loved for who I am? Does anyone else feel as hopeless?
