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Any others always wanted to be something they are not or will never be?

I since a kid was obsessed with James Bond, I always wanted to be that that super spy, traveling the world, being in intense adreneline fueld adventures, a suave talker with a mysterious personality, now all this is a fictional character but still even now as an adult I want to be extraverted, I still want to be that guy who is talking with tons of people, having crazy adreneline rushes etc.

When it actually comes down to it though I realize "damn, I am an introvert, wtf am I doing" I cant just be that life of the party, I like to travel but i have to take time for myself and cant be around people too long, hate loud noises and commotion etc.

Has anyone else had this feeling of wanting to be the total opposite of what you truly are?
 

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Yeah, I want to be an extrovert too. I'm really confused about it as well, because it seems to be that I am somewhat of an extrovert, but I just can't show it, I'm too afraid. I wish I could talk to people, I want to go to parties and be happy around people, but I just can't. It frustrates me a lot.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Yeah, I want to be an extrovert too. I'm really confused about it as well, because it seems to be that I am somewhat of an extrovert, but I just can't show it, I'm too afraid. I wish I could talk to people, I want to go to parties and be happy around people, but I just can't. It frustrates me a lot.
Its certainly odd, I understand that this is the way I am, I NEED these introverted qualities to make me feel better, I have to get away from everything from time to time but yet I want to be extraverted so badly.
 

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Any others always wanted to be something they are not or will never be?

I since a kid was obsessed with James Bond, I always wanted to be that that super spy, traveling the world, being in intense adreneline fueld adventures, a suave talker with a mysterious personality, now all this is a fictional character but still even now as an adult I want to be extraverted, I still want to be that guy who is talking with tons of people, having crazy adreneline rushes etc.

When it actually comes down to it though I realize "damn, I am an introvert, wtf am I doing" I cant just be that life of the party, I like to travel but i have to take time for myself and cant be around people too long, hate loud noises and commotion etc.

Has anyone else had this feeling of wanting to be the total opposite of what you truly are?
No, because I don't hate myself.
 

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Of course the bitter truth is that the story of James Bond was written by an introvert, an ISTP if I'm not mistaken. Functionally, they're actually identical to ourselves, although in a different order.

The question I pose back is, if someone is capable of creating such a rich and detailed persona in their mind and put those thoughts to paper, who's to say that they can't, to some extension, do the same in real life. With all the masks people wear, perhaps we're all just actors anyways.
 

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Haha :) I've always knew I was going to be introvert. (I also thought that mysterious folk are the introverts!)
Anyways, there were a few times when I wish I could be an extrovert to discuss freely or be more outgoing. Otherwise, I love it :)
 

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I was an introvert for most of my life, and then not very long before I took the MBTI test I started coming out of my shell quite a bit. Now I'm an extrovert, though the preference is admittedly very marginal.
 

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Sounds like a "grass is greener over there" sort of illusion/delusion. You said you want adrenaline rushes? Try some sort of sport, the more extreme/scary it is, the bigger adrenaline rush you get. You want to talk to lots of people? Go DO it. Act it. You'll learn and grow into what you do, so if that is truly the sort of character you want to develop, start playing the part. Even if you do it in short bursts, it's the exact same thing.
In my (very flimsy, barely supported) opinion, it sounds like your problem is not with who or what you are, but with a disillusionment with life itself? If so, all you can do is lower your expectations and expend more energy fulfilling your desires. It's up to you. Good luck.
 
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Well, I don't think being an extravert guarantees you these super amazing social skills.

It doesn't really have to be either or. Everyone needs time for themselves sometimes, and I think why the extraverts tend to have better social skills is because they just are around people more than the introverts. You can learn to carry a social mask and be the life of the party if you want to. Even if you can't do it for as long as extraverts do.

But as an introvert you probably need to retreat to be alone at times, and if this is what you have a problem with, I don't know if I have any suggestion to what to do about that. Maybe just try and accept yourself for who you are? There's nothing wrong with being an introvert.
 

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I do at times wonder if extroverted personas actually find retail more enjoyable or somehow seem to be better actors?
 

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Any others always wanted to be something they are not or will never be?

I since a kid was obsessed with James Bond, I always wanted to be that that super spy, traveling the world, being in intense adreneline fueld adventures, a suave talker with a mysterious personality, now all this is a fictional character but still even now as an adult I want to be extraverted, I still want to be that guy who is talking with tons of people, having crazy adreneline rushes etc.

When it actually comes down to it though I realize "damn, I am an introvert, wtf am I doing" I cant just be that life of the party, I like to travel but i have to take time for myself and cant be around people too long, hate loud noises and commotion etc.

Has anyone else had this feeling of wanting to be the total opposite of what you truly are?
Since I first read Caesar's commentaries on the conquest of Gaul I was actually pretty pumped to make myself more Te-like. My strategy doesn't come as naturally as it does to INTJ-folks, but it's a knife I sharpen constantly so it's pretty sharp.

If you don't want to be introverted, set a goal. Go to a bar every week and tell yourself you'll talk to a random person. . . girl/dude whatever. Do it with the intent to get better at it, and you'll have decent skills with just a few weeks of practice. And you can only improve.
 

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Ahaha I know exactly what you mean!

The difference is being James Bond in your mind is easy for an INFJ since we have a rich inner world.

Being one in the real world would completely mind fuck us.

I used to want to do all kinds of action and travel until I entered the real world and found it was stressful enough as it is. I crave angelic peace now over running around and kicking butt. I do that all day everyday because of life's stresses :p
 

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Yeah.....
I've never let being an introvert stop me from doing what I want,
Seriously,
If you're going to let a label determine who you are,
Then it's not being an introvert thats the problem.
 
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