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What's shakin', Personality Café?

Here we are once again with a new Member of the Month! It seems like it's only been a few weeks, doesn't it?

November's interview is an ENFJ named Jawz who has built quite a reputation with the other members. The votes I received for Jawz that explained why he was being nominated were effusive about his sensitivity and inner strength. One such example was from former MOTM @snail.

snail said:
I would like to recommend Jawz as the next member of the month. I feel that he could inspire other members by discussing his life, his challenges, and how he triumphs over adversity. He has an interesting story to tell, and he is a dedicated, prolific forum member who is good at expressing himself. He is friends with a large percentage of the active members, and his nomination will probably be well received.
By popular demand, *pushes huge pile of votes off desk at last*, here it is. An interview with:

What's your real name?

I’m “Jawz” IRL as well :) At least called that by my closest friends. It’s a combination of my middle and last names. Got that nickname in Canada in Grade 11 – been using it since.​

How old are you?

Hehe … I’m biologically 30 – one of my battered knees is probably around 60, but mentally I can be any age between 14 to 60 depending on who I’m interacting with ;)

What country are you situated in?

I call it Canadistan – a combination of Pakistan and Canada because I’m a true hybrid. YES! I live in my own world. Deal with it. I don’t believe in national boundaries.​

Are you single, dating, or married?

I got divorced in March but I’m currently in a very happy and satisfying LDR with @Etherea – I love you very deeply hon, in a way I’ve never loved anyone before.

We came together through Personality Café and have been questing for our true selves together for 3-4 months – and in the process fell in love :)

Do you have any kids?

Yup. 2 Nephews and a niece. I love them as much as I would my own children :)

How would you describe yourself in one word?


What is your favorite place to travel to?

This is not going to be a very typical answer – but I love the worlds of my own dreams. I’ve been partially disabled for over 8 years so I can’t experience life the way normal people do – however, my dreams have become enhanced since then, and they are an alternate reality I escape to and enjoy every now and then. My experiences in my dreams are as vivid, or perhaps more so than real life at times.​

What is your favorite color?

Black. Yeah – I’ve always been somewhat emo-ish as well.​

What is your favorite weather?

Winter with snow all around. Especially when it’s not windy, not cold and still snowing. There’s a certain beauty in that weather.​

What are your favorite books, movies, tv shows, and video games?

Books: I love young adult fiction, the Nightside series, Asimov’s Robot books as well as LOTR and Harry Potter. These days reading the final book of the Inheritance Cycle.

Movies: All things Sci-Fi and Fantasy: Equilibrium, V for Vendetta, Sports movies, Pan’s Labyrinth stand out for me right now.

TV-Shows: Farscape, Star Trek: TNG, My Little Pony, Avatar: Airbender, Evangelion.

Video Games: Not much of a gamer, but I loved the original DOS games as well as the Final Fantasy Series. Special mention for Legend of Dragoon and high-fives to the LOD fans ;)

What are your favorite foods and beverages?

Blood ;)

What is your favorite animal?

A wild horse – something I identify with as my personality as well. One who cannot be tamed because his spirit cannot be broken. Followed closely by a Lion – another one of my nicknames is “Shera” which means “like a Lion”. This name was given to me by an old servant whose memory will stay with me forever because he taught me what life was like for the poor.​

What kind of music do you enjoy?

Metal, Hardrock, Enigma, Yanni, A.R. Rehman, Pakistani Rock is amazing now. I listen to whatever I’m feeling at the moment and let those feelings wash over me.​

What are your favorite websites to visit?

Personality Café [no sucking up – it’s true :)] Other than that, I’ve lost interest in a lot of web-sites. PerC seems like a world within a world that’s so full of life, energy, enthusiasm, understanding, respect, empathy, humour and intellectual insight that I don’t feel the need to go anywhere else.

@Etherea and I love deviantart too and use that a lot to share our interests and tastes in art. We’ve also been using OKC’s questions to learn more and more about each other these days.

We’ve broken all the rules of engagement. Instead of using matching sites to bring us together, we’re using them to get to know each other better ;)

What is your greatest weakness?

I become extremely aggressive when I’m attacked personally, or when my intentions are questioned by immature people who don’t have the guts to challenge me directly. I can stomach a lot, but once my limits are crossed, then it’s “Hulk Smash!”​

What is your greatest strength?

Empathy and Altruism and the ability to feel what another person is feeling and asking questions to confirm my intuition about their feelings even though I would actually already know why they would be feeling a certain way.

The ability to put a smile on someone’s face even if I’m myself dying a little inside.

Resilience. I got into an accident in 2003 and I’ve been living with chronic pain since. I’ve lost 6 jobs because of it, got divorced because of it. But I have this “never say die” attitude about me and there’s nothing, nothing in life that would ever make me want to stop living.​

What motivates you?


What is your philosophy?

We live, we learn, we cope, we move on. We still love while the world crashes in on us. And live to learn within walls that seem like a prison. Yet we manage to light up those walls with our own light in our darkest days ... as we grow more beautiful inside so does this prison ... So one can feel a great many things and still surround oneself with the will and strength to fight and continue to exert control .. and find beauty in pain.​

What are you passionate about?

Helping people find themselves, helping them with their lives if they want. Guiding them. Teaching them. Music, art, philosophy, critical thought. I want to create a series of self-sufficient philanthropies so that my legacy of giving doesn’t die with me. I believe in the concept of “sadqah-e-jariah” which basically means that the people will continue to derive the benefit of my good deeds even after I die!​

What kinds of jobs have you had?

I’ve been a TV Producer for a Sports Channel, A journalist for a Newspaper, A TV Journalist, A Project Manager, Marketing Manager, Business Development Manager of an IT Portal, freelance blogger, web-developer, photographer, session player as a musician, owner of a Retail Outlet to name a few.​

What are your pet peeves?

None really. I don’t think I have any, actually. I’m a pretty patient and accepting person IRL.​

What are your fears?

Fear itself.​

Who do you look up to?

I used to really look up to my father growing up but now – I have this alter-ego called “Jawz” and I look up to what I was in the past and try to bridge the gap between what I’ve become and what I was. I want to continue to grow as I am growing, however, I have this idealized version of myself that had all these hopes and dreams before they were shattered by the accident. I want to become that Jawz while retaining the best of this Jawz. So – I kinda look up to the best of myself in the past – the one who had all this success before it was taken away from me.​

Do you have any pets?

Not at the moment – but I do want to have pets in the future. I get emotionally connected to them too quickly – so I’m going to only get a pet now when I’m completely settled. Having the kind of nomadic lifestyle I do – it’s next to impossible to have a pet.​

What do you do for fun and relaxation?

For me, everything is fun and relaxing. Yes, I do get extremely anxious and tense at times. But it takes very little to distract me and relax me. One of my favourite ways of relaxing is to listen to other people talk to me about their lives. Connecting with people. Being there for them always relaxes me.​

How did you get involved with personality typing?

Back in 2003, I just took a random online test and tested as an INFP. This was right after my accident so for 8 years I believed that I was an introvert when in reality I was an extrovert. I tested as an INFJ/P for the longest time [I even have saved tests from those days]. Thankfully I decided not to take the tests seriously at that time, otherwise I would’ve really messed up my career choices.

I became really seriously involved after I came on PerC. My interest was really piqued by @PlushWitch’s Gently Mistype thread – and since then I’ve been secretly helping a lot of people type themselves and it’s worked wonders for some of them for the most part.​

What is your Myers Briggs personality type?

I am definitely, without any questions [and that’s coming from a Type 6 ;)] an ENFJ with a balanced Fe and Ni – which means that I’m just as comfortable introverted as I am extroverted. I’m heavily extroverted and heavily introverted. Almost all of my functions seem to be very well developed.

The 8 years of solitude and an abusive marriage actually worked to my advantage as it allowed me to develop my introverted, sensing and thinking functions.

I can no longer relate to either INFJ’s or ENFJ’s for the most part but there are many aspects that I still do relate to in both types.

I actually had someone once tell me that I seem like just about every type in the MBTI spectrum. Perhaps it’s because of the balance b/w Fe/Ni or the chameleon-like nature of the Fe/Ni – or maybe it’s because I’ve been able to grow recently having made all these discoveries about myself.​

What is your enneagram type?

Oh – I’m such a proud Type 6w7, 9w8 and 3w2 that it’s not even funny. I know a lot of people have a phobia of being Typed a 6. But you know what – if I hadn’t been a CP Type 6w7, I would’ve never, ever been able to live through all the traumas I have – because being inherently skeptical and doubtful allows me to protect myself and my friends from potential harm. And also ALWAYS keeps me prepared for anything. The ambiverted nature of a core Head type has helped me develop my aux and inferior functions as well.

Therefore, my world can be swept from under my feet. And I’ll still remain standing with an all-knowing smirk on my face.​

So what's it like being an ENFJ 6w7?

Heheh .. It means that I have an inherent urge to be a knight in shining armour, a vocal academic, a loyal buddy and partner in crime all at the same time.

It means that I can be the world’s best friend if I so choose to be for those who I choose to be. The doubt and skepticism adds multiple perspectives to varying thought as well as humility to my otherwise arrogant nature. The contradictions once understood and accepted allow me to grow positively – as well as challenge those who deserve to be challenged. The bonus is that the Fe allows me to do so without causing harm.

It’s also very painful – because the pain of the world stays in my heart as I am constantly pulled to carry the weight of the world and worry about my friends all the time. I have a very hard time dealing with someone else’s problems not because of how that impacts me personally, but because I have this constant feeling of helplessness to help.

I love to take on the troubles of other people and feel what they feel – especially the people I connect with, and bond to. And once a person is in my inner circle, I’m theirs forever and I love them to death. I feel an empathy link with the friends I bond with.​

Do you think the different personality theories give an accurate description of you?

For me, Personality typing is about differences as much as it is about similarities. It's being able to see which parts of me belong in the box and which don't. In actuality – my goal is to recognize which box I fit into and then grow enough to recognize when to step outside the box and view myself as different from the norm.​

Which personality theory do you prefer, and why?

I actually take parts of all 4: MBTI, JCF, Keirsey and Enneagrams and try to combine them all to complete the picture that’s me. So, in other words, I have no preferences because each theory is intertwined and therefore the best thing to do is to draw knowledge from all of them and take the best parts that you can relate to.​

Do you use personality typing in the real world?

Firstly, I want to comment on the fact that my PerC world is part of my real world, therefore if I’m using it here, then I’m already using it in my real life. Anways, yes. I’ve used it to type my family. It has improved my relationship with my INTJ brother tremendously. Other than that – I don’t have the opportunity to do so. I did fall into the trap of wanting to type people from afar – but I learnt that that’s quite foolish. I can write a full length post on the subject, but I’ll leave it at that​

Has personality typing helped you in any way?

Personally – Hell Ya! I would’ve offed myself if I didn’t dive so deeply into personality typing. Can you imagine a suicidal person with extreme negative thoughts and just completely directionless NEVER having gone to a therapist. Yes, that’s me! Personality Typing is my therapy. It is what I used to counsel myself through my suicidal nature. I never even read a self-help book. Just Personality Café and the people here. Knowing I am an extrovert allowed me to realize all that I needed to do in order to live an introverted life as an extrovert and PerC has helped me achieve that.

Man I love the people here. You’re all the blood that flows in my veins.​

Do you prefer to associate yourself with certain types, and why?

Nope. I love everyone. And as they say – ENFJ’s are most likely to get along with all other personality types – and I’ve found it to be true in my life.​

How did you initially find your way to PersonalityCafe?

5 Days after my divorce, I was looking for “ways for INFJ’s to deal with divorce” – and found a thread “INFJ men and divorce/break-up” Hey, I thought I was an INFJ at the time, remember XD​

What made you join us?

I wanted to make a post in that thread just to ask people how I should deal with the divorce. I didn’t want to break down and cry in a fetal position just because some woman who never loved me left. So I decided to ask other INFJ’s about how to deal with a divorce – and they’ve been helping me since.

I LOVE YOU MY INFJ, INFP, ENFJ and all other friends on PerC who’ve stuck with me through all these months :) Without you people, I would’ve been curled up in a fetal position somewhere – or probably dead and gone.​

Why did you choose "Jawz" as your username?

Jawz is my real life name as well. In high school, a girl was having difficulty pronouncing my real name, so out of frustration, I told her to just call me Jawz. It caught on. People that are closest to me call me Jawz and have been doing so since I was 16. Interestingly, I actually value my friendships based on who calls me Jawz vs who calls me by my real name. I’ve noticed that my closest friends love Jawz – whereas people who aren’t as close use my real name. On the flip, when I feel really close to someone on PerC, I tell them my real name – but even then I’ve noticed that they use Jawz instead. I guess it fits my personality or something.​

Why did you change it to "SilentScream," and then change it back to "Jawz?"

Comes from an old Richard Marx song about regrets: Silent Scream, which I heard when I was 15. Silent Scream is my Shadow INFP self – the regretful introvert.

Jawz is the ENFJ who loves life and the world.​

If you had to choose your favorite forum on PerC, which would it be?

ENFJ section by far now – They’re like kindred spirits. And the younger ones are like younger versions of myself.

Followed by the Sex and Relationships forum [where I first started talking to @Etherea and also where we decided to go exclusive].

I have to mention the INFJ section as well because that was the place where the people nurtured me back to emotional health. Their empathy knows absolutely no bounds.

I haven’t gone to the INFP forum much, but there’s a couple of INFP’s who really watch out for me when I’m in trouble [they know who they are :)]

And yes – the Bans and Infractions forum as well.​

What do you like most about PersonalityCafe?

The people – by far. As well as the fact that it’s a complete package where I can be as expressive as I want in any way that’s allowed by modern technology. It is by far the best online forum in existence in my opinion.

I have never, ever met more genuine, honest, kind and real people anywhere else even in real life – therefore this is as good as real life can get if you know what I mean.

It almost seems like a biosphere where we have the best of humanity in one place. I just love it. And I love the people here. Did I say I love the people here? I really do :) I’ve also noticed that many people feel the same way as well. It’s a great community – the very best the internet has to offer.​

What do you dislike most about PersonalityCafe?

The divisions based on Keirsey Temperaments because it keeps people boxed in and creates a situation where some people either don’t learn about other types, or become unwelcoming to people of other types who try to give their input – and in many cases it leads to typism.​

What is the most important thing you've learned here?

You have to give love to receive love. You have to respect others to earn respect. The usual clichés apply. Also, I’ve noticed that beneath the surface, almost everyone is really looking for love, acceptance and camaraderie on some level.​

Do you have any advice for the community of PersonalityCafe?

This message is for a few people, not the community as a whole. Please stop looking at Type tags when communicating with each other – and when responding, take the time to go through the posting history of an individual to get to know the person more instead of just looking at their post at that point in time. It does help a lot in communication.

And a message to some people – stop using MBTI to make yourselves feel superior over people of other types. Stop hating on each other based on Types.

And I really, really want to encourage the growth of ESFJ’s on PerC. I don’t want to express my opinion on it. But I think most of us know really why ESFJ’s are missing from this forum.​

If you could have any super power, what would it be?

The power to heal emotional and physical pain.​

What do you know now that you wish you'd known five years ago?

Nothing. The knowledge we have at each moment in time is part of our learning and growing process. To have any kind of knowledge and to wish to have had it in the past to somehow change it is the same as having regrets – so no. I don’t wish to know yesterday what I do know today.​

What do you believe is your greatest accomplishment at this point?

To have survived 17 years with thoughts of suicide – with a broken body that refuses to allow me to hold down a job, or have sexual relationships – And yet, I wake up every morning with a smile on my face and a feeling of contentment.

Also, with respect to this forum, myself and other ENFJ’s have combined to create a vibrant and growing community of ENFJ’s here and we have been able to get more and more people involved in that section.

The fact that I never say die – and I have proved time and time again that I can rise from the ashes of destruction again, and again, and again … and again.

Nothing in the world can keep me down because I’ll get right back up and fight. All it takes for me to live is love. The love of others, and the love I have to give to them.​

Tell us something about yourself that we don't already know.

I see dead people.​

What is next for you? What are your plans and goals for the future?

I don’t make plans anymore because with plans come expectations and with expectations come the prospect of failure or success.

I lived in the fast lane for 16 years to both success and failure – so I’m trying a new approach now. I’ve slowed down. I don’t care if the world is moving faster than me. I live each day on its own and take it from there. I keep plugging away at the little things in life – and I just have a feeling that something big is about to happen. I’ll embrace it when it does.​

Give us your parting words.

I know a lot of people struggle with the idea of what’s best for themselves. They weigh their lives with respect to the lives of others. I wrote this a while ago and I share this with everyone just to ponder and maybe even critique. But step back and think about it for a few minutes and the message it conveys:

“Is there really anything more remarkable than an unremarkable life? We all want our lives to mean something. We all want our shining moments, the dreams of a lavish life, without any strife. But in the end if we could find satisfaction and contentment in being unremarkable, that would be the truly remarkable life.”

Thanks for making me the member of the month. I love all of you people and many, many of you have left your imprints in my life and I will never forget the moments I’ve had here in the last 8 months. It really has been my life and I don’t feel ashamed to admit that I made an internet forum the most important part of my existence. In fact, I feel proud to have been a part of this community all this time. Thanks for reading.​

3,145 Posts
Congratulations for getting MOTM, bhai! I really enjoyed your interview! So ecstatic to see you as MOTM, you really deserve it! I love your optimism and energy and how you connect with the other members here!
*waves pompoms*

I also love A.R. Rahman!! He really is the Mozart of Madras :D

17,819 Posts

By popular demand, *pushes huge pile of votes off desk at last*,
I know who I have to thank for this, and it's a huge, huge list of people so you know what. I would be nothing without all of you - really.

Here goes nothing. This isn't about me - this is about all of you.

@snail - My dearest, most empathic friend - the first person on PerC who taught me how to make friends, who taught me how to accept myself as I am, who allowed me to stop feeling perpetually guilty about all that had transpired in my life. Snail, my dear - you said that I am capable of inspiring people - it was you who made that happen by allowing me to accept myself by becoming my friend when I was friendless in the world

@Etherea - You are my life. You are my love. You are my everything. And I wish and pray that we will come together one day and make our lives together.

@Kayness - My dear - I know .. I just know :) And yes - A. R. Rehman is the Mozart of Madras -- oh and I've been compared to him all my life - both links as well as talent-wise -- well not as talented -- but I do kinda look like him ;)

@Vivid Melody - Your desire to share your husbands experiences since he's also an ENFJ 6w7 has really helped me discover who I am and now I know a lot of things. Thanks for responding to and reading almost all of my posts on PerC - your validation really means a lot to me and thanks for answering all my persistent questions about similarities b/w myself and your hubby :D

@seastallion - enough can't be said about you my sis :) You're an empathic, kind and caring soul and no matter whose profile I visit, you're always there with your words of support and comfort :)

@1199 - I don't even think I need to mention why I love you so much my sister :) You were a shining light in my darkest days. Thank You.

@Boss - Yara Naz meri behen ... tumhare sath jab bhi baat hoti hae to lagta hae kae maen apni bichri behn sae baat ker reha hoon. Agr maeri behen hoti tu tumhari jaesi hoti. Aap ka saath mushkil waqton maen maerae liye bohot keemti tha .. aur maen aap kae liye dua kerta hoon kae ap ki tamam mushkilat hal ho jaen. Jab bhi koi baat ho tu maen hazir hoon :)

@shampoo, @violetta --- You little ones know just how much I love you right :) I hope you kids have a wonderful life. You're both brilliant, kind, caring and nurturing. You both make a wonderful 1-2 punch - aur tum dono kabhi aik doosrae sae alag nahi hona. Yeh qeemti dostian hamesha rehni chahyen. Aik doosrae ka saath du - tu sari zindagi sari mushkilat asani sae hal hoti jaengi.

@marzipan01 - Girl, you've really been a joy to talk to all this time - and I look forward to reading everything you right because the words that flow from your pen are like magic.

@Happy about Nothing., @KC Tan, @jdmn, @penguinfrk, @kiwigrl -- Fellow ENFJ's REPRESENT! Without you guys and gals, there would be no ENFJ forum - and of course the regular insight from our resident ISTP's @Falling Leaves, @Nickel and others really gives us a lot of the "other" perspective to learn from and discuss.

@Razvan - Thank you for always taking the time to respond to my Rants and vents - your empathy encourages me in my darkest moments and helps me continue to fight each and every day.

Oh and I love how the INFP's always come in and shower us with their love - Thank You :D

@nottie, @MuChApArAdOx and @vivacissimamente - You ladies really taught me how wonderful and different ENFP's can be.

@wondersueak, @Vaan, @Gildar, @Tsuki, @Scarlet, @69waystolove, @MissyMaroon, @VernalVal--- this is for you guys:

I'm not going to mention a few members who I feel might feel uncomfortable being mentioned, but I will thank them all personally.

And I thank everyone who's brought so much joy and laughter, kindness and caring, empathy and knowledge into my life.

Also, a mention to my fellow poets. Thank You.

I am proud to be an ENFJ ! And I care about every single one of my friends.

You're all imprinted in my memories - and no matter where life takes me, I will always, always remember the time I spent on PerC as some of the best days of my life. So what if it's a forum - the people are real :)

10,452 Posts
Well I think we all knew this was coming :) Your posts are always a very interesting and enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing so much with all of us.

I have to admit though - I didn't vote for you :D Not because you don't deserve it but because I was afraid it would make you uncomfortable : / Now I see it was inevitable lol. Anyway, congratulations! Love ya!

3,750 Posts
Heh, I was wondering when PerC would get their asses around to awarding you one of these ^^

Seriously though, you deserve it. You always take the time out to help other uses out with thir problems, ENFJ-related or otherwise.

So thanks for answering all of my questions over these past few months ^^

Go team Jaws ;)

2,770 Posts

Oh dear my... look what has happened.

I'm pretty sure I didn't get a chance to cast my ballot as well.

:3 :3 :3


Here goes nothing. This isn't about me - this is about all of you.
Bullshit. Stop being so Fe.

I don't see it being called Member of the Month KC Tan or something :p

3,084 Posts
Bullshit. Stop being so Fe.

I don't see it being called Member of the Month KC Tan or something :p
I second this. Fuck off with the Fe shit. This is most definitely about you.

Congratulations!!! :) You really do deserve this.

Great interview as well. :3 Really enjoyed reading it.

MOTM July 2012
8,033 Posts
finally!!! this has been long in coming, and you really deserve this, big brother @Jawz !!! congratulations!!

you have been such a caring friend to so many members here...always reaching out to people when you read or sense that they need emotional support, looking out for them and standing up for them just like a protective big brother. thank you so much for being there for all of us!! :)

His Majesty
12,625 Posts
@Jawz, I appreciate the heartfelt words that you have expressed. It's refreshing to see someone so full of life and love. You have helped me these past few days and I can't thank you enough. I know that I haven't talked to you much in this forum and by reading the responses from the other members, I regret not doing so much earlier. You've got a lot of heart, Jawz. That's for certain. My wish is that you continue in this success in life and love and are able to be better in your health. Trust me when I say, I understand. I'm currently on kidney dialysis and have to go 3 times a week for 4 1/2 hours each day. But my love for life and love for love have driven me to keep living the best life I can live.

I appreciate you, you are a inspiration, you are a giant among ants. Keep being Jawz, and we'll keep loving YOU. Take care, brotha :)
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