[rogue_mason]

In today's culture a common mechanism of courtship is to continuously text message the targeted member of the opposite sex. I for one, can't stand this.

It seems that one of the first steps toward getting to know a girl is to get her number, and to text her, but I really hate doing this. I have no problem talking to a girl face to face, but somehow I am repulsed by the idea of text messaging. It's like...I've got shit to do and I don't have time to be sitting around all day talking about stupid meaningless crap via text message. The problem is that the constant text messaging thing seems to be a crucial part of many relationships, to-be relationships, steady hook-ups, or anything in between. I'll always see other guys whipping out their phones every five minutes to attend to a conversation with a girl, and I just don't get it.

I was discussing this with my ENTJ friend who agreed that text messaging is "childish"

My ESTP friend on the other hand tells me how he loves it, and it's a great source of entertainment.

Whenever I am in a situation where I have to casually text a girl, I feel that any conversation is forced and awkward, and frankly a waste of my goddamn time!

Do any other ENTPs feel the same way on this issue? Or is this something I just have to get over?

 

[turmauge]

I find that texting is a way of somewhat being with someone without having their physical presence. You could liken it to being on a phone and chatting with a friend while you're doing little errands around the house, except it's less obtrusive since the way it's been with my friends is that we can reply however quickly we like (sometimes I take days to reply, and when I do sometimes it's about a completely different topic). A bit hard to explain, but this way we're constantly updated about we're doing and where we are throughout the day. We send each other photos of stuff we might want to show each other, or whatever else we'd want to share. As Perceivers it makes it easier for us to quickly meet up when our daily activities have a chance to intersect. And I also have a few very good friends (including my bf) who live on different continents and texting is the easiest way for us to constantly keep in touch. For instance, I'm irl friends with another PerC ENTP and we text literally every waking moment..

But I would also like to add that texting has always been deeply ingrained in my life. I grew up in Asia where people text a lot - and type lightning fast - since it's cheaper than calling. I've had a phone since I was 13 and I'm never away from it, whatever form it's taken over the years.

On the subject of budding or tentative relationships, I think most people have become more comfortable with texting because it's a lot less scary than a phone call. You have time to compose what you might deem is a suitable reply, or even none at all if you choose, and none of it is face-to-face. Contrary to "having got shit to do and no time to sit around texting", sending small messages is easier and more time efficient than sitting down to talk on the phone or having to take the time to arrange a meeting with someone that I might not necessarily want to see. I have no problems banging out a few quick messages even if it's about useless shit since I could still be doing something at the same time; I'd certainly hate to waste MY time having to physically be somewhere and end up being bored or annoyed with whoever I'm with.

I agree that texting isn't for everyone, but I guess it's a lot lot lot easier when you're used to it. My bf used to hate texting, but he likes talking to me so I guess he just had to suck it up haha.

 

[ENTPreneur]

It is just a way of communicating that you "care". Just like you sent love letters before, but once a day. Now you can affirm your love 39 times per day with "ROFL"...

 

[King_Moonracer]

I thought i was the only one who thought constant texting was fucking stupid. I mean its not even a word recognized by Microsoft!!!!!!

and holy fuckin shit, in the past month, ive had a bunch of weird, emotionally clingy crazy bitches who have asked me to date them when we havent even met in real life. I actually met one for a semi-sexual meeting, only to realize that she is an advocate of falsely advertising pictures of herself online. She turned out to be this somewhat nasty bitch who smokes tons of cigarettes. And what choice did i have to turn her down!

And then when you turn the girl down online or in texting, they get all fuckin crazy on you and annoy the shit out of you....i mean how fuckin desperate, or stupid, do you have to be to need to be in a relationship at all times, to the point where you are asking random guys who just told you how they wanna fuck you that you want them to be your boyfriends??? it makes me SICK.....absolutely SICK!.Im throwing up right now, all over my computer....aahhhghhghhhaaaagghhhgh...blood vomit is everywhere, ahhghhaggggggggghhhhhhckk.

My stupid sister is in about 5 different texting relationships. INFP. When she has the chance to meet these guys she texts, who are usually extremely fucking retarded guys who use extremely lame "compliments", she goes out of her way to avoid them. Its like she might be in a town or public place, and will see a guy she texts, and she will just walk right past him, no eye contact or anything. And later that night she will bitch about how he is mean to her or some shit.

 

[jeffbobs]

The only thing i want to see from my friends in the form of a text, are "help i am being killed" or just "help me!" And followed with exact cordinates, if not i shall read it and ignore it, just like every other text i recieve.

 

[grizzlyy]

lulz highschool

 

[chittychitty LightNING]

If texting is a required step in courtship, looks like i'll be

 

[ENTPickle]

Personally, I quite like texting - anyone. Texting satiates my need to communicate and interact with many people [almost] at once, as well on the phone, internet AND in real life.

Get over yourself.

Jus' sayin'. :wink:

 

[DeductiveReasoner]

...I enjoy texting, although it appears I'm part of the minority.

That being said, I'm very bad about texting people back promptly, and am prone to completely forgetting that I was in a conversation.

 

[FuzzyLittleManPeach]

...I enjoy texting, although it appears I'm part of the minority.

That being said, I'm very bad about texting people back promptly, and am prone to completely forgetting that I was in a conversation.

I'm sure I've annoyed quite a few of my friends doing this lol...

 

[Extraverted Delusion]

Texting provides a comfortable distance between you and said partner, so use it to your advantage. Build some trust through it, tell a lot of jokes. Females that are testing multiple guys love to text and text and text as it provides them with a distanced evaluation tool of just who it is you are. I don't think your concern is more about texting than it is what kind of girl you're going after. Don't turn it into a habit though, after you two have established some commonry and patterned discussions (that are "fun"), make it a point to actually call her and ask her if she's interested in showing up for a coffee "since you're going to be out and have some time to kill".

You can leverage a transition from texting into a phonecall, unless of course you don't have much of a discerning taste in females.

 

[O_o]

.... I don't even have a cellphone (enough said)

 

[snowz]

I hate texting... my phone goes off for multiple days at a time and when I do receive a text I just say I'll answer it later and then forget. Multiple people have complained, I blame texting itself for being incredibly boring/frustrating.

 

[Magnificent Bastard]

I use texting only for logistical purposes. Otherwise I interact in person.

IMO, I don't see the point of it when you can communicate one-on-one. The body language and stimulating things are much more vivid in person. Some texting for entertainment is cool, but if that's all you're doing then it's an addiction like any other.

 

[bigtex1989]

I much prefer texting to phone conversations, but enjoy in person better...SOME OF THE TIME. I also got swipe mode on my phone which makes texting a finger adventure!

 

[FuzzyLittleManPeach]

I much prefer texting to phone conversations, but enjoy in person better...SOME OF THE TIME. I also got swipe mode on my phone which makes texting a finger adventure!

Never had the patience to mess with swipe.. my thumbs are lighting fast for another ten years then I'll be investing in some old school mechanical phalanges.

 

[bigtex1989]

Never had the patience to mess with swipe.. my thumbs are lighting fast for another ten years then I'll be investing in some old school mechanical phalanges.

I wasn't going to mess with swipe, until my friends said I'd love it. They were absolutely right. Drunk texting is the greatest with swipe

 

[MsCheshire]

I hate texting. Just call me already! Jeezus. By the time I've finished my response, which keeps getting longer until it's practically an email, I've received 20 more texts! I also tend to hate answering my phone as a rule. If it's dating, I suppose that is a little more interesting and I'm more likely to answer, but not always. I like email because it allows me time to formulate a response that seems more reasonable and I don't feel the pressure to talk when I may not want to talk.

 

[BusinessMan]

For the most part I only text to arrange meeting times/locations. Or if I have one quick question that can be answered in ten words or less. Most of the time when I see that the texting is taking too long, then I just call the person.

There are some people who I text a lot to, mainly people with similar senses of humour who I don't get to see that often. With girls I'm dating texting seems to be a necessity, but I try to limit it. I don't actually care how their day is going, but I ask it anyways for future sex.

 

[enick]

It doesn't really bother me. my girlfriend texted constantly about nothing in particular. It was her thing. My wife is much more concise and we mostly use texting to coordinate.

I don't really care. I let the other person dictate how the communication happens. I just reserve my right to ignore texts for awhile if they aren't emergencies.