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Discussion Starter #1
I work around a bunch of NT and ST men in a technical field. I am an INFP female with a very gentle voice and timid nature. The men I work with want to dominate me. I am working to not let that happen. What can I do to make them see me as their equal or even as more dominate than them? Not that I want to dominate them. I just want them to respect my opinions.
 

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For the NTs we need more specific type.
Entj?
Intj?
Intp?
Entp?
 

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Entp- If you are able to beat us in a debate we will respect you for life( A common misconception is you have to be a loud person to debate is completely untrue.)
INTP- Just get in an intelligent conversation with them(probably the easiest nt to earn respect from)

for the Js I have No idea.:mellow:
 
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Discussion Starter #5
Entp- If you are able to beat us in a debate we will respect you for life( A common misconception is you have to be a loud person to debate is completely untrue.)
INTP- Just get in an intelligent conversation with them(probably the easiest nt to earn respect from)

for the Js I have No idea.:mellow:
That is not to hard. I will try it. But now wonder if that would work with a ST?
 

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ESTJ-they will always try to dominate everyone
I have yet to be able to stand up to my estj step father for 6 years.... Better luck you to you.
 
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That is not to hard. I will try it. But now wonder if that would work with a ST?
It depends, STPs usually respect talent at what you do and STJs value seniority. Both being S-types value experience over theory so if you can prove you're competent and not just speculate, then that's usually a good start.
 

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Firstly, you need to have confidence in yourself; your competence and abilities, and stop being afraid to speak up. NTs respect competence, so if you know what you are saying - speak up. If it isn't stupid then they will probably be receptive.

This probably doesn't apply to the particularly assholy NTs if there are any there.. but that isn't an NT thing, but an insecure asshole thing. A person of any type can just want to throw their weight around in order to get some validation. That is a different problem. I typically respond to those types in a workplace by just interacting as little as possible. If someone doesn't respond to reason, and I wish to remain a reasonable person in the workplace, then my hands are kind of tied there.

So, these guys at work.. are they just typical NTs, or real jerks?

(Sorry I have no advice for the STs. I'll leave that up to the STs or people who understand them better than I do.)
 
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Discussion Starter #9
ESTJ-they will always try to dominate everyone
I have yet to be able to stand up to my estj step father for 6 years.... Better luck you to you.
I suspect my dad was an estj too. There was not reasoning with him. He was right even when he was wrong. Which was most of the time.

It depends, STPs usually respect talent at what you do and STJs value seniority. Both being S-types value experience over theory so if you can prove you're competent and not just speculate, then that's usually a good start.
This one guy that I am working with does seem to place a big importance on his senior position at work. But I was at the senior level long before he was. So does that make me senior over him? Being an INFP I play down my senior position. Maybe with him I need to put it in his face a few times.


Firstly, you need to have confidence in yourself; your competence and abilities, and stop being afraid to speak up. NTs respect competence, so if you know what you are saying - speak up. If it isn't stupid then they will probably be receptive.

This probably doesn't apply to the particularly assholy NTs if there are any there.. but that isn't an NT thing, but an insecure asshole thing. A person of any type can just want to throw their weight around in order to get some validation. That is a different problem. I typically respond to those types in a workplace by just interacting as little as possible. If someone doesn't respond to reason, and I wish to remain a reasonable person in the workplace, then my hands are kind of tied there.

So, these guys at work.. are they just typical NTs, or real jerks?

(Sorry I have no advice for the STs. I'll leave that up to the STs or people who understand them better than I do.)
The confidence is a big thing where I work. I have learned over the years to speak up and often over the top of the men. The types of men I work with are for the most part healthy people but there are a few that are insecure. And most of these are the older ones.
 

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'Dominate' and 'heard' are two different things. It's probably possible to assert dominance upon NTJs, but I don't think NTJ's way of handling other NTJs is applicable in this case...
Anyway, to be heard/ appreciated by NTJs, you have to show how worthy* you are, but changing an existing 'value stamp' is much harder than making a favorable first impression. How do the NTJs treating you so far?

*) In whatever traits that particular NTJ likes, could be knowledge, responsibility, goodness... it differs. In work environment, however, usually something along competence, objectivity and intelligence.
 

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When it comes to the INTJ, I can only suggest you learn to censor your F, and not let common emotional pleas enter into your interactions. When hit with F, I tend to go deeper into T as a counterbalance.

Basically, you have to know what you're talking about, assert it, don't back down, and don't get emotional. It may be easier said than done, but the only way to convince me is by your argument, not your passion about your argument.
 

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You're going to have a hard time "dominating" NT's, really. If you want their respect, establish yourself as a confident, trust worthy person who can make good decisions and hold your own in an intelligent discussion , in time i'm sure that they'll come to respect you.

Theres no need to "dominate" and NT, thats no way to earn their respect.
 

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To more or less echo what others have said, be confident and competent - period. If I perceive someone as an intellectual equal, can see that they mean business, and find that they are capable, I will give them 100% of my respect. It's when I think people are incompetent that I tend to overpower them. Prove your worth through your ideas and actions, truly believe that you are their equal, and the rest will follow.
 

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Agree, agree. Something I did not see mentioned here (speaking for INTP): stand your ground if you know you're right, but on the flip side you have to be willing to learn something if you are wrong. There is a delicate balance there. If you're too agreeable you might appear unsure of your capabilities, but if you're too headstrong and inflexible then you might look like an ass. A knowledgeable and competent person knows to defer to someone who is more knowledgeable than themselves. If you give respect to other people they will give it to you.
 

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I work around a bunch of NT and ST men in a technical field. I am an INFP female with a very gentle voice and timid nature. The men I work with want to dominate me. I am working to not let that happen. What can I do to make them see me as their equal or even as more dominate than them? Not that I want to dominate them. I just want them to respect my opinions.
Can you give specific examples of how you feel dominated by them?

I am in tech, and I think I've seen this dynamic at work. At a recent meeting, there was a soft-spoken woman giving a presentation. She was challenged on almost every point by some of the guys, and even the more assertive women. She stood her ground fairly well and was able to answer their points (she had done her research). But she still seemed shaken up by it, and I felt bad for her.

I don't know the personality types involved there, but it wouldn't surprise me if the guys and women challenging her were NTs and she was NF.
 

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Its generally important to view the spirit of how types view work.

NTs view people at work on how they add value and how they improving the company.

NFs view people at work on the basis of how they work together and respect one another,

They are opposed; to get respect from your NT colleagues display your knowledge about what you do and the efficiency with which you do it. SJs are happy with that too. Although they are somewhat like NFs in how they view their working environment as somewhat territorial and 'their people first'. We have an ESTJ manager in my work who is well known for referring to her subordinates as her 'babies'. NT hell. :crazy:
 

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There's been some pretty good suggestions so far, so what I'll mainly add is this: use your personality type to your advantage. I've known several F's who pleasantly surprised me with their unique outlooks and wise advice. Show them that you have something to offer. Just keep in mind that they will mainly respect the use of reason.

Also, I've had some experience with STJ's, and I would say that they mainly respect people who are orderly and do things efficiently and by the book.
 

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"dominate" an ENTJ!?

rofl. Good luck with that.

Seriously though, even if you are an ENTJ yourself, the best position would be to have mutual respect with each other, and the ENTJ might even grow to admire you. But to "dominate"? .... it's never EVER going to happen, no matter what type you are.

Just be confident and competent. Appeal to our logic, use facts and theories and show good results, and we will respect you. One caveat is that how someone may feel about something hold little to no weight, in fact it may even have the opposite effect on us as we may find your appeals to emotions or getting emotional to be a sign of incompetence and weakness. Don't try and make everyone get along, and don't be afraid of when we have disagreements. We are not trying to "dominate" someone when we have disagreements or debates, we just view it as a stimulating way of self expression and reaching a truthful conclusion.

On, and for ENTJs and ESTJs, MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS ORGANIZED AND FUNCTIONING SMOOTHLY!!!! We will get REALLY annoyed at messes and inefficiencies. (Better yet, promote us and we will sort out the inefficiencies heheh :p)
 

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Discussion Starter #19
I don't really want to dominate anyone. I am a live and let live kind of person. But neither do I want to be dominated by others either. I like your suggestion of being confident and competent.

And too I appreciate knowing that you are not trying to "dominate" someone when you have disagreements or debates. To INFP's disagreements and debates feels like ruthless domination.

Maybe one of you ENTJ's or ESTJ's could clarify the difference in your debates and clear cut domination and intimidation. What would you do differently if you were trying to dominate or intimidate me than you do in debates?


"dominate" an ENTJ!?

rofl. Good luck with that.

Seriously though, even if you are an ENTJ yourself, the best position would be to have mutual respect with each other, and the ENTJ might even grow to admire you. But to "dominate"? .... it's never EVER going to happen, no matter what type you are.

Just be confident and competent. Appeal to our logic, use facts and theories and show good results, and we will respect you. One caveat is that how someone may feel about something hold little to no weight, in fact it may even have the opposite effect on us as we may find your appeals to emotions or getting emotional to be a sign of incompetence and weakness. Don't try and make everyone get along, and don't be afraid of when we have disagreements. We are not trying to "dominate" someone when we have disagreements or debates, we just view it as a stimulating way of self expression and reaching a truthful conclusion.

On, and for ENTJs and ESTJs, MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS ORGANIZED AND FUNCTIONING SMOOTHLY!!!! We will get REALLY annoyed at messes and inefficiencies. (Better yet, promote us and we will sort out the inefficiencies heheh :p)
 

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I don't really want to dominate anyone. I am a live and let live kind of person. But neither do I want to be dominated by others either. I like your suggestion of being confident and competent.

And too I appreciate knowing that you are not trying to "dominate" someone when you have disagreements or debates. To INFP's disagreements and debates feels like ruthless domination.

Maybe one of you ENTJ's or ESTJ's could clarify the difference in your debates and clear cut domination and intimidation. What would you do differently if you were trying to dominate or intimidate me than you do in debates?
Well, I know ESTJ and ENTJ the best, I can't say much about other types.

We both have a tendency to think that we're always right. The only way you can prove to us that we're wrong is by using evidence. So yea, most of the disagreements would come from both of us thinking that we're right and not because we want to dominate anyone.

I know an ESTJ values seniority, so if he's been there longer than someone else, he expects them to listen to his experience.

I don't think I've ever had a case of wanting to dominate or intimidate someone because I value the fact that when people feel confident and happy with working with others, the synergy created between them would make everything many times more productive.

I think the best advice I can give is to see things through their eyes, and change your own perception from "they want to dominate me" to "how can I first understand their views, and then allow myself to be understood". It's a tough thing to do because I know a few INFP friends and they tend to be really quiet and never speak up in group settings. The only time I got to know them is when no one else is around. I know its tough to speak up, especially when you're dealing with such strong personality types but you have to. And once you do, they WILL respect you for it.
 
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