[dalsgaard]

I stumbled upon this article by chance, which is no doubt a comedy article for the newspaper:

German Nymphomaniac Terrorizing Munich, Takes Second Victim After First Claims ?She Is Trying To Kill Me With Sex? - International Business Times

But honestly. Why exactly is this funny? To me, that's rape. They may call her a 'nymphomaniac', but as far as I can tell, she's a rapist. We're supposed to laugh it off, but the victims didn't laugh at all; they felt violated and humiliated.

I don't get it.

 

[Fizz]

Oh gosh, because society is under this impression that men want sex at anytime, anywhere, from anyone? The only way this could be satirizing women would be to assume all women love jewelry. To make sense of this idea, let's say that some jeweler is actually giving away free jewelry to women, no strings attached and the women are upset about this. The article would try to make light of the situation thinking it's funny because they assume ALL women ALWAYS want jewelry but in this situation, they don't want it.

I'm just trying to convey this in a way where it makes sense to THEM, but it truly is stupid to others, myself included.

 

[koalaroo]

I stumbled upon this article by chance, which is no doubt a comedy article for the newspaper:

German Nymphomaniac Terrorizing Munich, Takes Second Victim After First Claims ?She Is Trying To Kill Me With Sex? - International Business Times

But honestly. Why exactly is this funny? To me, that's rape. They may call her a 'nymphomaniac', but as far as I can tell, she's a rapist. We're supposed to laugh it off, but the victims didn't laugh at all; they felt violated and humiliated.

I don't get it.

Read The Mirror's version of it.

 

[Thalassa]

That's a mentally ill woman. Nymphomania is a mental condition, you realize that, right? No one said it was funny, did they?

 

[dalsgaard]

That's a mentally ill woman. Nymphomania is a mental condition, you realize that, right? No one said it was funny, did they?

No one said it was funny? You know full well, that we're meant to laugh at this piece, and plenty of people do!

As @koalaroo said, read The Mirror's version of it:

Nymphomaniac strikes twice in Germany: What is sex addiction? - Mirror Online
Man found sobbing in street after 36-hour ordeal with German nymphomaniac - Mirror Online

People in the comment section are saying: "Hehehehehe let her come to me", and "Totally irresponsible... That the story does not include her contact information.".

"Nymphomania" isn't even a real term in the medical world. Yet, this woman is constantly released, and is therefore able to go into the night, and continue her serial rapist acts! The double standards here are completely nuts. Are we going to excuse male rapists similarly? It even says, that 6% of the population are sex addicts, and that 1 in 5 are women. I don't fucking GET this. Rape is about dominance and power display, it's about owning another person.

And the victims names were released, too.

This is disgusting.

 

[twoofthree]

No one said it was funny? You know full well, that we're meant to laugh at this piece, and plenty of people do!


People in the comment section are saying: "Hehehehehe let her come to me", and "Totally irresponsible... That the story does not include her contact information.".

"Nymphomania" isn't even a real term in the medical world. Yet, this woman is constantly released, and is therefore able to go into the night, and continue her serial rapist acts! The double standards here are completely nuts. Are we going to excuse male rapists similarly? It even says, that 6% of the population are sex addicts, and that 1 in 5 are women. I don't fucking GET this. Rape is about dominance and power display, it's about owning another person.

And the victims names were released, too.

This is disgusting.

And you notice that it's men making those comments.
This thread is essentially the same as the one about the woman blowing the man in his sleep.

Men make light of these things that are happening to men. Men rather promote an idea that they're simple creatures (with only an on/off switch) who are always willing to have sex. . .

 

[dalsgaard]

And you notice that it's men making those comments.
This thread is essentially the same as the one about the woman blowing the man in his sleep.

Men make light of these things that are happening to men. Men rather promote an idea that they're simple creatures (with only an on/off switch) who are always willing to have sex. . .

...........
So?

 

[FaveteLinguis]

And you notice that it's men making those comments.
This thread is essentially the same as the one about the woman blowing the man in his sleep.

Men make light of these things that are happening to men. Men rather promote an idea that they're simple creatures (with only an on/off switch) who are always willing to have sex. . .

I remember an incident where a women chopped of her soon-to-be ex-husband's penis and threw it in the garbage disposal because of divorce. Afterwards ladies on "The Talk" made some pretty disparaging comments about it on national television. They were forced to apologise for it afterwards.

Does it really who exacerbates these messages in your perception? People regardless of their gender can be pretty nasty.

 

[snail]

The article took the situation so lightly that I was at first unclear about whether it was about something that actually happened, or was an over-the-top fake news story intended to be comedic. Having now seen it in more than one place, I am convinced that it is a real news story, but I am appalled that it is being treated as though it were amusing. Someone who is crying in the street after prolonged, painful forced sex should not be laughed at as though he were just overreacting to something cute and harmless.

Rape isn't funny. To treat it otherwise trivializes the feelings of those who have been victimized. I am disturbed that sexual violence committed by women against men is often seen either as something that is secretly desired by the victim, or something he must deserve. These are the same rape myths that female victims have had to deal with historically. I would have thought that people would know better by now.

 

[twoofthree]

I remember an incident where a women chopped of her soon-to-be ex-husband's penis and threw it in the garbage disposal because of divorce. Afterwards ladies on "The Talk" made some pretty disparaging comments about it on national television. They were forced to apologise for it afterwards.

Does it really who exacerbates these messages in your perception? People regardless of their gender can be pretty nasty.

We can only deal with an issue if we acknowledge who and where it's coming from.

 

[dalsgaard]

The article took the situation so lightly that I was at first unclear about whether it was about something that actually happened, or was an over-the-top fake news story intended to be comedic. Having now seen it in more than one place, I am convinced that it is a real news story, but I am appalled that it is being treated as though it were amusing. Someone who is crying in the street after prolonged, painful forced sex should not be laughed at as though he were just overreacting to something cute and harmless.

Rape isn't funny. To treat it otherwise trivializes the feelings of those who were victimized. I am disturbed.

Thank you! Spot on! And I agree with you that this is a rape issue, far more than it's a gender issue.

I can't even imagine being one of the victims, and have to contend with reading articles like this. I hope the victims are okay, and that there are people close to them, who understands that this isn't something you laugh off. It says that one of the guys were abused to a degree, that he was unable to walk afterwards, and was reduced to tears. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for him to have to resort to calling the police.

 

[dalsgaard]

We can only deal with an issue if we acknowledge who and where it's coming from.

In my mind, this issue is coming from a general consensus on part of the entire population, not one gender exclusively. The problem here is, that rape is not being taken seriously. That's a humanist issue, not gender.

EDIT: I do get, that this attitude is one that you mostly see men perpetuating. But the article in The Mirror was by far the worst, and this was written by a woman. If we want this to change, we need to address all who reflect such bias and insensitivity.

 

[twoofthree]

In my mind, this issue is coming from a general consensus on part of the entire population, not one gender exclusively. The issue here is, that rape is not being taken seriously. That's a humanist issue, not a gender issue.

But why is the rape not being taken seriously? Rape usually is.

 

[dalsgaard]

But why is the rape not being taken seriously? Rape usually is.

I know what answer you're looking for. But this has nothing to do with men exclusively, and everything to do with a common theme in society:

Obviously if you're watching a scene with a woman tied to a bed while a man forces sex on her, the final act of that movie will involve said man getting shot in the face by Bruce Willis. If, on the other hand, it's a man being tied down and forced into sex by a pretty lady, well, you're watching a wacky romantic comedy.

- 6 Romantic Movie Gestures That Can Get You Prison Time | Cracked.com

The trend that the article cited doesn't even matter. What matters is, that the same double standard so clearly carries over into real life, as is evident by that article and many others like it. Women are the ones, who are putting on make-up, but that doesn't mean that they play the majority role in idealizing unreachable beauty standards. As is always the case with issues related to gender, it's an interwoven dynamic of causal relationships. If we want this to change, we need everyone's expectations to change.

 

[dalsgaard]

I stumbled accross this article comment on Reddit. It made me think:

"He deserved it. He shouldn't have lead her on!"

When a woman is not taken seriously, the people who criticize say it's her own fault, because she ought to know that the man can't control himself. When it's the case of a woman raping a man, the problem has a similar connotation, only this time, people say they simply can't beleive the man didn't want it.

Men can control themselves, and their own sexual desire. We are not universal sex-hungering robots, who are incapable of self-control. The reason men rape, is not because they want these sexual desires fulfilled, but because they want to violate and dominate. The same goes for women. The myth we have to combat, is the one that says that "Men can't help themselves". Of course we can. We have a prefrontal cortex. We are human beings, not mindless horny animals.

EDIT: I guess that's the sexual liberation men need. They need to realize, that they are in control of their own sexual desires.

 

[Psilo]

Many people, or idiots, make light of rape. If it's a man, well he wanted it obviously. I it's a female, well she shouldn't weat a short skirt and expect say no.

Men desire sex always, and women deserve rape.

People can really suck sometimes. It may be partially a defense mechanism and partially lack of empathy. If you make the person in the situation either too stupid or in a better position than they really are, you can pretend you are less vulnerable to the same situation.

 

[Shahada]

And you notice that it's men making those comments.
This thread is essentially the same as the one about the woman blowing the man in his sleep.

Men make light of these things that are happening to men. Men rather promote an idea that they're simple creatures (with only an on/off switch) who are always willing to have sex. . .

Yeah, obviously I can't prove it but I get the feeling the people making those sorts of comments are the same ones who would make a "well she shouldn't have been wearing that/gotten drunk/etc" in other rape cases. Both sentiments are inexcusable of course, but it seems the double standard is coming from the same people and isn't really a double standard, because both ideas come from the same patriarchal foundation: A woman getting raped isn't a serious issue because women exist for sex with men, and a man getting raped by a woman is absurd because how can a woman have sexual agency?

 

[knittigan]

I guess that's the sexual liberation men need. They need to realize, that they are in control of their own sexual desires.

I had a completely serious conversation with my stepbrother about male rape after I wrote a paper about it a few months ago and he looked at me like I was insane. He actually asked me how it was possible for a man to be raped in a heterosexual context. Needless to say, my mind was blown.

It's really sad to me how many men don't understand themselves as having the right to refuse sex. I mean, think about it. Even if you do have a ridiculously high sex drive, do you really want to have sex with every person you meet? Of course not. Even if you're the kind of person who is willing to lower their standards once in a while, I'm sure there are still people out there that you don't want anywhere near you in a sexual context. Even if you do want sex six times a day, every day, I'm relatively certain that you also want to be able to do other things. You know, like brush your teeth, eat, and sleep.

I think that another aspect of why it can be so difficult for people to take male rape seriously is because we have this assumption that rape is always and necessarily a penetrative act and we generally don't understand men's bodies (heterosexual ones, because to be penetrated voluntarily in a homosexual context is always, socially, to be feminised and denigrated) as penetrable. Never mind the fact that there are actually lots of ways that women can penetrate men's bodies, penetration is not actually the determinant of rape -- lack of consent is. Forcefully performing oral sex on someone or forcing someone to perform oral sex on you is legally rape to the exact same extent that penetrating someone is -- at least in a Canadian context. I know that there have been changes to the definition of rape in the US but I'm unfamiliar with what they are because reading up on American consent law causes me existential angst and I'm not familiar with anything outside of those two countries.

The flip side of this is that a lot of people assume that an erection = consent. It doesn't. An erection is a physiological response. It is entirely possible to stimulate someone to erection without their consent simply by touching them in the right way. Furthermore, men get erections for all kinds of reasons (morning wood, anyone?) and there have been many studies which have found that it is not uncommon for men get erections when they are experiencing the kind of extreme fear or anxiety that they likely would be when someone is assaulting them.

Unfortunately, most people don't understand these things and when you couple that with this idea that men want sex all the time (to the point where we often excuse their behaviour because "that's just how men are"), what emerges is this really nasty situation where: men can't be raped; or if men can be raped, it's not a big deal; or if men are raped, it's funny because it's just. so. outrageous.

Yeah, obviously I can't prove it but I get the feeling the people making those sorts of comments are the same ones who would make a "well she shouldn't have been wearing that/gotten drunk/etc" in other rape cases. Both sentiments are inexcusable of course, but it seems the double standard is coming from the same people and isn't really a double standard, because both ideas come from the same patriarchal foundation: A woman getting raped isn't a serious issue because women exist for sex with men, and a man getting raped by a woman is absurd because how can a woman have sexual agency?

Got it in one. I agree completely.

 

[Sara Torailles]

We can only deal with an issue if we acknowledge who and where it's coming from.

Really, in this kind of issue, the who's not as important as the why. Everyone carries the blame for perpetuating the issue in some way.

The why helps us spread awareness about the issue. The who gives us someone to point our finger and say "Shame on you! It's all your fault, you stupid prick!".

 

[MyName]

And you notice that it's men making those comments.
This thread is essentially the same as the one about the woman blowing the man in his sleep.

Men make light of these things that are happening to men. Men rather promote an idea that they're simple creatures (with only an on/off switch) who are always willing to have sex. . .

That's like saying that it's women's fault they get raped because they're not assertive enough. Just, ughh........

And like other posters have pointed out, plenty of women excuse stuff like this too, or make "oh, he must be gay" type comments. Check out the comment section here (not rape, but still female on male violence) for all the "you go girl"
and "this made my day" comments- Polish Dentist Pulls Out Ex-Boyfriend’s Teeth - ABC News