[curious0610]

I know INFJs "people watch" a lot - for example, we observe people's body language, their facial expressions, etc. It comes so naturally, I dont even realize I'm doing this , but there have been INFJ threads on this.

Anyway, what about you guys? I know you guys have this thing where you do or say something just to observe that person's reaction. I have been the target of those observations, and because I observe facial expressions well, I know when I'm being observed. It's kinda funny, with the ENTJ I know, I KNOW he's observing me even though he tries to be discreet by looking the other way, but keeps his glance still towards me.

So I am just curious overall, what sorts of things do you guys tend to look for? What types of reactions? What are specific examples of things you have done or said to observe a reaction from? I just want to see patterns in some of your guys' posts.

 

[fn0rd]

Saying absurd things and watching people react is one of my favorite pastimes... especially when they get mad or offended.

 

[Slkmcphee]

I observe paralanguage, try to read into people's intentions. I like to try to figure out what a person is like when no one is around. I look for idiosyncrasies, I imagine why people choose to wear their hair or clothes a certain way, why they choose the things they choose. People fascinate me.

I don't know that I ever say or do things in order to observe people's reactions. But I do observe people's reactions regardless of what I say or do. I am more of an observer than instigator.

 

[wiarumas]

I'm not good at reading emotions/facial expressions. I can't read lips either. I was talking about this with my wife the other day. I make eye contact and that's about it. There is no face scanning going on unless its an overly dramatic signal (ie a smile or gasp).

However, I am good at reading people in general. I see beyond what they are saying and thinking and I can get a judge of their character pretty easily. A lot of my wife's friends use me to tell them if their boyfriends are deush bags or not. At work, I know exactly who is capable of what, their work ethic, what they can handle, what they excel at (detail oriented, brainstorming, running meetings, etc).

Along the lines of what fnord said, I am definitely a habitually line crosser. I don't try to offend/upset people, but I do see how far I can go with a joke to get a reaction out of people. I use witty/clever and sometimes shock humor. In a way, I do this for attention and to be charismatic/funny, but also because it helps me get an idea of their character (relates to what I was saying above). You can learn a lot about a person from their humor and where they place "the line."

I do try to keep this behavior out of the work place though.

 

[Slkmcphee]

However, I am good at reading people in general. I see beyond what they are saying and thinking and I can get a judge of their character pretty easily. A lot of my wife's friends use me to tell them if their boyfriends are deush bags or not.

I think the douche-bag detector comes standard on the ENTJ model. This detector also reliably picks up on dumb-asses and con-artists.

 

[Rohbiwan]

Observe and exploit - hopefully to the advantage of both of us. Every once in a while though you aren't the only one.

 

[dude10000]

I'm probably more attuned to body language than most, precisely because I'm not innately attuned to body language. A lot of people study it-- actors, salesmen, business executives, politicians, sociobiologists, law enforcement-- there's a lot of information out there most know only unconsciously, implicitly, and passively, that can easily be made conscious, explicit, and active.

A few good books to read include:

Joe Navarro, What Every Body Is Saying
Mark Bowden, Winning Body Language
Allan and Barbara Pease, The Definitive Book of Body Language

Lots of great stuff-- how to build trust, what to look for if others are lying, what the positions of hands, feet, hips, shoulders, can all say about what's going on in another party, how to change the level of energy of an audience, etc. etc. The human limbic system ftw.

Mark Cialdini also has a book titled Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, which I find explains the deep things in life, such as how Borat easily gains the trust of innocent victims. I like you, do you like me?

This is all superficial stuff-- what interests me the most is giving someone a theoretical problem or philosophical objection to a stated position/policy/hypothesis, and watch how they meet the objection. Those that can do so on the fly, or quickly speculate on fixes, or can outline how they will go about reaching a solution, are almost as valuable as those who can present challenges to my own way of viewing the world.

 

[curious0610]

i have actually been noticing similarities between infjs/entjs:

1. "what interests me the most is giving someone a theoretical problem or philosophical objection to a stated position/policy/hypothesis, and watch how they meet the objection. Those that can do so on the fly, or quickly speculate on fixes, or can outline how they will go about reaching a solution, are almost as valuable as those who can present challenges to my own way of viewing the world."

I do this a lot. I sometimes bring in theory or philosophy (if i know the person is aware of these specific arguments) and apply it to a given situation. and more so than listening to what they say, i think i spend a great deal of time watching how they react to it. everything you described.

2. On another thread, someone else wrote that they like to imagine the other person (of interest) in several situations and make educated guesses on how they would react. I do this a LOT too. i feel like once i get a feel for that person, i try to make educated guesses about how they would behave in that situation, and given those hypothetical scenarios in my mind, i make up my mind if that person is a red or green light for me.

 

[DarklyValentine]

people like me
shh
and wee are rare
observe a reality

Thence we observe that which others inhabit

if you catch my drift...which frankly you wont

 

[Rohbiwan]

Bender: "Sweet photons. I don't know if you're waves or particles, but you go down smooth. "