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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Are you likely to observe the action of others or lack thereof and attach a significant meaning to it? Be it in the setting of those you do and don’t know well. How likely are you to mention your observations and if/when you do, do you use tact or say it in as matter of fact. For what reason do you share your observation?

I find when I share my thoughts I'm looking for change, or just to let them be aware if for one reason or another I don’t think they are, but rarely do I reach my goal. I'm starting to get that maybe only when asked should I bring up my view, however I find that difficult when it’s those who are close to me. Does anyone else have this difficulty? Any strategies that can be used for my need to impose on others actions and habits?
 

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I tend to usually be one extreme or another not much of a middle.

I either keep my thoughts to myself, or try and effect change constructive or in a possible explosion. But I hate contradicting people over trivial things for the sake of it, I tend to think its a way people over compensate to feel superior, so I really avoid unconstructive correcting.

An example would be like last week I had a friend over, asking who another friend was in a picture, anyways so I explained to the friend that the person in the picture was a friend of mine who was an old neighbor who went back to her homeland Scotland. Lol what happens next she says "omg I love the british" (haha facepalm) anyways I stayed silent and changed the subject. Later my daughter who was there asked for verification that Scotland and Britain were two separate places, I told her yes she was right. Then my daughter asked why I didn't correct the friend of mine when they were wrong. I explained to my daughter that there was no point. My friend had foolishly tried to sound like she knew what she was speaking about because she wanted to sound like she knew what she was saying. So I explained to my daughter that I would be making her feel inferior for no reason by correcting her idiocy, because she is simpleminded enough to talk about something she doesn't know and pretend she does it would not be an effective correction anyways and would just be cunning for no reason. Then I asked my daughter why she didn't correct her if she too knew the same thing, and she basically confirmed that she didn't see the point in correcingt someone over something trivial they pretended to know about.

Anyways that was a trivial example of trivial contradictions that I see no point in bothering. I like to think I pick my battles. And am not petty or rude.

But I will be very direct and forward if I think theres an observation that is crucial. I would never want to be like a well known past ISTP resident asshole (I still don't think he was ISTP and will not signal the person out despite their several signaling out and petty outbursts).

I can be known to erupt with many observations when I think my constructive approach is not effecting change and things need to be called out. I think I am known for having an ability to address something when necessary but yeah I usually take an indifferent approach altogether or an approach of diplomacy or mediating, or coaching. Not the naggy haggy. Blah.
 

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If it is for the best and you think you should say it go ahead and say it, but don't expect them to do exactly as you want (when you want change) because people are gonna do whatever they want anyway.
Tact or matter of fact? When i want change i will say why i think *whatever they do* should be done differently, without reprimanding them, so i guess it counts as tact (it never really sounds like tact when it's me saying it). If it's just an observation i don't say it without a reason... unless i'm not in a good mood, then i go around impulsively crushing people's sensitivities
 

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I do the same, although I rarely find a good reason to share those observations with others, even (especially?) those close to me. If it's important, sure, but if the actions/habits are likely to be forgotten in a few years, I let them slide.

No sense having someone hold a grudge over some annoyance that's long past, or taking an unimportant observation and turning it into a personal crisis. Tread especially lightly with SOs, because they tend to put too much weight on our opinions, and we're far too blunt and casually matter-of-fact for most people. My INFJ has been known to meltdown for hours after I made a comment that seemed like harmless teasing. Not fun.

Those observations can be a useful tool/weapon, if you choose your battles wisely, and mentioning them has it's place, especially when you need some mouthy twit to shut up so you can get things done. Other than that, it's usually better to keep them to yourself, as most of society isn't usually ready for the way we view humanity.
 

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An example would be like last week I had a friend over, asking who another friend was in a picture, anyways so I explained to the friend that the person in the picture was a friend of mine who was an old neighbor who went back to her homeland Scotland. Lol what happens next she says "omg I love the british" (haha facepalm) anyways I stayed silent and changed the subject. Later my daughter who was there asked for verification that Scotland and Britain were two separate places, I told her yes she was right. Then my daughter asked why I didn't correct the friend of mine when they were wrong. I explained to my daughter that there was no point. My friend had foolishly tried to sound like she knew what she was speaking about because she wanted to sound like she knew what she was saying. So I explained to my daughter that I would be making her feel inferior for no reason by correcting her idiocy, because she is simpleminded enough to talk about something she doesn't know and pretend she does it would not be an effective correction anyways and would just be cunning for no reason. Then I asked my daughter why she didn't correct her if she too knew the same thing, and she basically confirmed that she didn't see the point in correcingt someone over something trivial they pretended to know about.
You're mistaken.

Britain, as in the United Kingdom of Great Britain. Scotland, is a part of the UK and carry British passports. They are British. You're mistaking British for English. Scottish is British. England is one Kingdom. Scotland is another Kingdom. Wales is another Kingdom. Northern Ireland was part of the Kingdom of Ireland. When England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland were joined, they made up the United Kingdom of Great Britain (the British Isles). The name Britain, came from the Romans. The Romans didn't distinguish between the different tribes and Kingdoms within the British Isles. They just considered them all one people.

It's an easy thing to get confused about.



I do take note of other peoples actions and I judge them by their actions. I believe actions speak louder than words. I don't think it would be a good idea to tell people what I think of them. I'm unapproachable already. Telling them what I think of them wouldn't help me make friends.
 

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You're mistaken.

Britain, as in the United Kingdom of Great Britain. Scotland, is a part of the UK and carry British passports. They are British. You're mistaking British for English. Scottish is British. England is one Kingdom. Scotland is another Kingdom. Wales is another Kingdom. Northern Ireland was part of the Kingdom of Ireland. When England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland were joined, they made up the United Kingdom of Great Britain (the British Isles). The name Britain, came from the Romans. The Romans didn't distinguish between the different tribes and Kingdoms within the British Isles. They just considered them all one people.

It's an easy thing to get confused about.



I do take note of other peoples actions and I judge them by their actions. I believe actions speak louder than words. I don't think it would be a good idea to tell people what I think of them. I'm unapproachable already. Telling them what I think of them wouldn't help me make friends.
Oh yeah now that you say that I did word the conversation wrong like a dumbass. After lack of sleep. She called them English was what I meant to say, oopsy.

It was my bat with the wording as far as wording it all like a dumbass while talking about someone being a dumbass. Something I would like to point out tho is that technically your right in one aspect. But having known my friend in Scotland they hate the reference of UK or being associated as or with England. She very passionately spoke about this.
 

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Oh yeah now that you say that I did word the conversation wrong like a dumbass. After lack of sleep. She called them English was what I meant to say, oopsy.

It was my bat with the wording as far as wording it all like a dumbass while talking about someone being a dumbass. Something I would like to point out tho is that technically your right in one aspect. But having known my friend in Scotland they hate the reference of UK or being associated as or with England. She very passionately spoke about this.
I've known some Brits. Scottish and English. It seems to me, it's a lot like the difference between American and Canadian. If an American is mistaken for a Canadian, they aren't offended and don't care. Canada doesn't play a significant role in their life. If a Canadian is mistaken for an American, they really don't like it. If someone English is mistaken for Scottish, they aren't offended and don't care. Scotland doesn't play a significant role in their life. If someone Scottish is mistaken for English, they really don't like it. Canada is a separate country from America and Scotland is a separate country from England, they have their own parliament. You can call them British but you can't call them English.
 

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Something I would like to point out tho is that technically your right in one aspect. But having known my friend in Scotland they hate the reference of UK or being associated as or with England. She very passionately spoke about this.
That's very true. I know a lot of Scots despise being linked in any way with England. It's probably more common for those of us with Highland roots, but I have some English ancestry and being Australian I don't really get it. Yes, they're British, but I wouldn't call many native Scots English unless you're looking for a fight. haha
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I do the same, although I rarely find a good reason to share those observations with others, even (especially?) those close to me. If it's important, sure, but if the actions/habits are likely to be forgotten in a few years, I let them slide.

No sense having someone hold a grudge over some annoyance that's long past, or taking an unimportant observation and turning it into a personal crisis. Tread especially lightly with SOs, because they tend to put too much weight on our opinions, and we're far too blunt and casually matter-of-fact for most people. My INFJ has been known to meltdown for hours after I made a comment that seemed like harmless teasing. Not fun.

Those observations can be a useful tool/weapon, if you choose your battles wisely, and mentioning them has it's place, especially when you need some mouthy twit to shut up so you can get things done. Other than that, it's usually better to keep them to yourself, as most of society isn't usually ready for the way we view humanity.
I always thought that cause they are close to me, they deserve the truth interesting how you come from the opposite view point, but I see the logic to it. and maybe mentality I can pick it up. hmm I fear I'll be shutting my self in a bit much, or a combination of repressed anger. very ISTP like.
 

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That's very true. I know a lot of Scots despise being linked in any way with England. It's probably more common for those of us with Highland roots, but I have some English ancestry and being Australian I don't really get it. Yes, they're British, but I wouldn't call many native Scots English unless you're looking for a fight. haha
I'm a Métis and black Canadian mix. I didn't realize it made any difference until I listened to a Scottish friend go off on a rant at an English friend. My English friend was trying to be polite, but I could tell he didn't give two craps and would say anything my Scottish friend wanted to hear if he'd just shut up already. It made me very curious to see such a one sided argument. As in, one side arguing and the other side couldn't be more indifferent.
 

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I do the same, although I rarely find a good reason to share those observations with others, even (especially?) those close to me. If it's important, sure, but if the actions/habits are likely to be forgotten in a few years, I let them slide.

No sense having someone hold a grudge over some annoyance that's long past, or taking an unimportant observation and turning it into a personal crisis. Tread especially lightly with SOs, because they tend to put too much weight on our opinions, and we're far too blunt and casually matter-of-fact for most people. My INFJ has been known to meltdown for hours after I made a comment that seemed like harmless teasing. Not fun.

Those observations can be a useful tool/weapon, if you choose your battles wisely, and mentioning them has it's place, especially when you need some mouthy twit to shut up so you can get things done. Other than that, it's usually better to keep them to yourself, as most of society isn't usually ready for the way we view humanity.
This.
 
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