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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I never feel entirely comfortable sitting down when there are people who have to stand on the bus, but I figure as a practical matter, there's no particular reason for anyone to sit or stand except that everyone has to fit on the bus. I would want to offer my seat to the elderly or someone who would clearly be better off not on their feet, but I seem to not mind if anyone else stands while I sit whether they are man or woman except for my sense of anxiety about whether or not I really have it right.

I want to be more settled about it and I want to have it right ... any thoughts? What do you do or think about the situation?

This girl on the bus today kept trying to give her seat to some dude who was standing. They were both college students and didn't know each other. I would have liked a report on her thoughts and feelings and motivations, but I guess realistically you've got to figure it out yourself or just ignore it. I don't know, besides maybe a self-esteem issue, is there any good explanation?
 

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i agree with you, and that girl was probably just wanted feel good about herself by showing generosity. I may feel bad for someone else who has to stand while i sit, but whats the point of me giving the person my seat? then he goes through the same feelings i just went through and will want to give me his seat.
 

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I don't think there was any reason for her to give her seat to that guy. Maybe she fancied him?

I personally would give my seat to an elderly person, a heavily pregnant woman etc.

Once I was standing on a train while about 7-8 months pregnant, aching like hell, and all of these able bodied people just sat in their seats and ignored me... that is something I would never do. So rude and selfish.

I am even the type that will often hold a door and let someone go before me into a room. My parents raised me to be aware of other people like that. Same goes with having respect for elders. My husband's nana can be very annoying sometimes but I just smile and listen to her politely, because to her it is a big event in her week to have someone to talk to.
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I don't think there was any reason for her to give her seat to that guy. Maybe she fancied him?
She really didn't seem to. It just looked like she felt really bad and wanted to shrink away from the whole thing. Lol, the dude was like "No! I'm fine!" Prolly didn't help her out any.

Ok: I'm going with self-esteem, and even if that's not it, I'm going to just tell myself to relax if I start feeling like I think she might have. It's really just not a big deal.

You know, what I feel bad about is that I'm a guy sitting when a girl has to stand, even if she's a college student who isn't troubled by standing any more than I am. You can call it chivalric, but I'm pretty sure it is not virtuous because it doesn't FEEL virtuous. It feels ... I think like I'm just afraid of women so I treat them differently. Still! lol

Once I was standing on a train while about 7-8 months pregnant, aching like hell, and all of these able bodied people just sat in their seats and ignored me... that is something I would never do. So rude and selfish.
That's horrible ...

I am even the type that will often hold a door and let someone go before me into a room. My parents raised me to be aware of other people like that. Same goes with having respect for elders. My husband's nana can be very annoying sometimes but I just smile and listen to her politely, because to her it is a big event in her week to have someone to talk to.
The culture I find is very unfriendly toward elders, and people treat them like they would something that has been in their fridge for too long. As though they were all used up and too hardened and set in their ways to have anything useful to say. I catch myself thinking along these lines sometimes, even though I feel an attraction to and natural reverence for them too. I naturally want to protect and take care of them, and I feel that these feelings are more honest and true to me.
 

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I don't like sharing a seat on the bus, I try to avoid it. Luckily a lot of the ignorant/annoying kids were seniors and are gone now... I hope.
 
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Yep. I usually give my seat up to any woman, or an elderly person, or anyone who looks injured etc.

I don't know what that girl was doing. She could have just been embarrassed, or needed to stand up and was just looking for an excuse to do so.

What was her body language like?
 

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I'm usually the last person to sit down, but I only give up a seat if it's requested and the person requesting is old/sick/injured/pregnant/with small children.

On most buses with rows of seats, however, the space for legs is usually much shorter than my legs, so I have to sit at an awkward angle across two seats for my legs to even fit in most situations. (The world is made for short people.) If I get room to stretch my legs out, you better have a damn good reason for making me give that up.
 

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I can't work out why that girl wanted to give that guy her seat either.

I've given my seat to the elderly in the past and not just on buses, in waiting rooms where there were no other seats available. If I think that I am more able bodied than the person standing I will give them my seat.

Perhaps they weren't complete strangers and she new something about him that you didn't? Maybe he had a disability that could no be seen?
 
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