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♂️ INFJ 5w4 // IEI-Ni
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Same as with making a marriage proposal. I ask them and if it's agreed upon then it's official.
 

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MOTM Jan 2015
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The obvious answer is "when you have the talk" but this stuff sneaks up on you too.

I've had "the talk" with guys I felt less committed to and have had less feels for than guys I haven't had that talk with.

I remember seeing this one guy. He started referring to me as his girl at parties, and it was kinda p*ssing me off, because we hadn't had the talk.

Then I remembered when a dude a long time ago told me that someone's your bf/gf when you know their middle name. LOL. Obviously that's not the simple answer (OMG, am I dating my entire family and my friends?) but I remember... remembering this when I was feeling weird about this dude one night.

I did know his middle name, when I couldn't even tell you the last name of a lot of guys I've dated. It was Eugene, but I think that mostly stuck because he was like this good ol' southern boy and I thought it was funny and didn't fit.

Anyway, I got weird after that, he got weird because I got weird, I went out with someone else in an attempt to reclaim my independence or something, found out that he'd done the same thing that weekend. Then we "broke up" despite never really being together, I felt more upset about it than I thought I would be, packed up my car and went on vacation to the beach alone, and later learned that he'd, also, done that same exact thing.

So if this points to any universality, apparently you know you've been toeing the line when you feel weird in the confusion, date other people, "break up," feel more strongly about it than you thought you would, and go to the beach.

Really tho, I consider something serious after I've said "I love you" and meant it, and have maybe met their parents. Otherwise it's a label.
 

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It's weird, because it really depends on the type of people. I've been in relationships where the guy was super confident and just asked something like "Do you want to be my boyfriend?" pretty immediately. But in other cases, especially if it's a shy pair of people, they both might be scared of confessing to each other that they want to be a couple, so they are "dating" in every way except for being official. I would say it's official either when it's been discussed between the two people, or when you start calling each other BF/GF out of the blue and you're both okay with it.
 

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INTP 9w1-5w4-2w3 sp/so
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In my little experience, there has always been a period of gray, a limbo between being an official couple and an uncertainty, when we are talking, getting to know each other, before anything is set in stone. We both like each other, a connection begins to form, but there is caution from both sides. I am not sure how to properly express it, but I openly express it more once I know it's official.

From my end, there is an underlying fear of rejection, just being a generally awkward and inexperienced creature, and if I am reading too much into their intensions, I don't want to jump the gun right away or try too hard too soon. It is a mutual agreement from both parties. I have been scared to put myself out there and keep feelings to myself to the most part, unless the person I like takes some initiative. And you never know when feelings will develop.

I am hopelessly oblivious, and miss out on cues as well which is frustrating to people who want a relationship. When we get to a point where we both admit we have feelings for one another, and begin to share hopes, and dreams.

Me and SO have talked about when we became an official couple, and we both have a rough idea, but there isn't really an official date set in stone, and there are a few origin points, a rough period of time, and interactions, but it was more or less gradual. I do like to think about how long we've been together, to have a point of anniversary in my mind, so I think from that/those points.
 

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INFJ 6w5 sp/so
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Ask each other. What pushed it for me was my bf wanting to introduce me to his parents a.s.a.p. I asked him how he was going to introduce me: friend or GF? We had been "dating" for less then three months when this occurred.
 
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