[viva]

Before I begin, I will say that my enneagram type, 4w3, is 110% certain. Use this nugget of information as you please in relation to determining whether I am just a weird, withdrawn ENFP, or something else.

I have always typed as ENFP. I've typed myself as ENFP, I've tested as ENFP, my cognitive functions (mostly... maybe?) reflect me being an ENFP. I've always been slightly bothered by the fact that I am so much more quiet, shy, and frankly, enjoy being alone more than ENFPs are supposed to. There is a lot of misinformation about how ENFPs are "supposed to act" and I feel like I simply don't fit the bill of extroversion. However... I'm not sure that I fit the bill of introversion, either.

In a nutshell, this is why I'm doubting my extroversion:

1. It really seems like my Ne and Fi are neck-and-neck, head-to-head, tied for the lead, constantly. I know the first response I'll get here is "well, are you Ne-dom or Fi-dom?" I frankly and literally have absolutely no idea. The force is strong in this one. I always thought I was Ne-dom, but my Fi is a little bitch that can completely overpower my Ne. But not all the time. Only about half of the time. This is why I have no idea. I am, however, fairly certain that Te is my tertiary function. So... if my Ne and Fi are pretty much used equally, would that explain or cause my ambiversion? How do I go about figuring out if I'm Ne-dom or Fi-dom?

2. I just do not feel like an extrovert most of the time, in the traditional sense and in the Jungian sense. Traditional sense: I am a very warm, friendly person, I find talking to other people quite easy and enjoyable, and I make other people comfortable. I open up to others quite quickly and I am an out-loud thinker, constantly blabbering about this or that. But, simultaneously, I am very shy and quiet. I'm soft-spoken, am never the center of attention, have a hard time getting my voice and opinion out there in a group situation, am absolutely anxious about public speaking, and am generally a "wallflower"-- someone people forget about very easily. In the Jungian sense, well, I don't know. I do think I enjoy external stimulation-- for example, I am more productive in environments with lots of background noise and hustle-and-bustle-- but I need a lot of time alone. A lot. And I enjoy one-on-one, two-on-one interaction far more than I enjoy group settings. I would say I spend a decent amount of time alone, most of my time with one or two other people, tops, and very rarely in a group. I have a few friends who are very close and important to me, then a wide, wide range of acquaintances I enjoy talking to and catching up with every now and then. I love talking to people and get jazzed up by hanging out with people I enjoy the company of. So yeah I'm confused.

3. My introverted boyfriend thinks I'm an introvert. I've always toyed with the idea and, well, when the person who knows you better than anyone else in the world who also happens to know a shitload about MBTI and a shitload about introversion seeing that he, you know, is one, tells you he agrees and thinks you're probably introverted... well, it's time to start considering it.

So, with all that said... could anyone suggest some ways for me to go about figuring out what the heck I actually am? And as a side note, could my enneagram type be something that effects me in a way that would make me seem more introverted even if I was actually an extrovert...?

Note: I am just debating between ENFP and INFP, not any other type

Any insight you have, or observations about me you've made (although introversion and extroversion is not exactly observable on an online forum) would be greatly appreciated!

 

[LiquidLight]

1. It really seems like my Ne and Fi are neck-and-neck, head-to-head, tied for the lead, constantly. I know the first response I'll get here is "well, are you Ne-dom or Fi-dom?" I frankly and literally have absolutely no idea. The force is strong in this one. I always thought I was Ne-dom, but my Fi is a little bitch that can completely overpower my Ne. But not all the time. Only about half of the time. This is why I have no idea. I am, however, fairly certain that Te is my tertiary function. So... if my Ne and Fi are pretty much used equally, would that explain or cause my ambiversion? How do I go about figuring out if I'm Ne-dom or Fi-dom?

Well this doesn't make you an ambivert but it is quite possible for your two top functions both be very developed and may seem to be in parity with each other (they likely aren't because you have lived with one much longer than the other) but certainly at times it could seem that you have solid handling of both. This is why we try to look at other things than the dominant function (which in the grandest scheme of things is not as consequential as one might think). For example Extraverts typically have an Introverted anima. For extraverts it is also typically their inner world, that is the source of the most mystery, intrigue, or problems (Ne-doms often are hypochondriacal because of their inferior Si. Notice here that the threat comes from within, the thing that threatens to consume them is internal). For introverts is often the opposite it is the outside world that ever threatens to swallow them up (in their minds at least). So if we look at the anima or aspirations of the introverts they are often extraverted or directed at the outside world. This is why you can't only look at the top two ego-centric functions because the shadow and lower-functions are also important too. Your inferior function says just as much about you as the dominant.

Extraverts live in the world of the object, introverts in the world of the subject, but in both cases there will be a counter-reaction the opposite way via the inferior function. So that Fi-dom who seems all caught up in their value system, can also be tyrannical outwardly via their Inferior Te. Same goes for a Ni-dom with Inferior Se (you see how there is both introversion and extraversion going on here, the extraversion is just less conscious - that's why we call the person an introvert, but it doesn't mean the extraversion isn't there). For an Extravert, they may be caught up in the world around them, but there will be a largely unconscious counter-reaction back to the self. So that Te-dom is always contending with their inner Fi and that Se-dom with their inner Ni.

So you can pretty quickly figure out where your preference is just by ruminating on where does the threat come from? Is it the world that threatens to swallow you up, or is the inner world that is the great unknown? Many extraverts do not know much about themselves, just like Introverts may not be that adept at paying attention to the outer world objectively. Even though this can be largely related to persona, you can ask what type of people are you generally attracted to as well. Like I said Introverts usually have an extraverted anima/animus and vice versa for Extraverts. So we are often seeking out compensation (someone who has qualities that we ourselves don't seem to have) so its quite common for extravert to be intrigued by introvert and so on. To me it sounds like both you and your boyfriend are basing this all off behavioral characteristics ("I don't act like how ENFP's are supposed to act") but I would counter by saying, what does a Ne-dom act like? We know how they generally think, but actions are dictated by much more than that. So it depends on what you want to focus on, the behavior, well then you're better off just taking a SLOAN test and calling it a day. If its psychology then your either a Ne or Fi-dom regardless of how you act.

 

[viva]

Extremely helpful, @LiquidLight. Gonna mull over that and post my thoughts later. Thank you!

 

[Jewl]

@viva -- Holy cow. I have the same exact problem. My Fi and Ne always, always tie. It depends on what mood I am in which one comes out higher than the other. I've been typed as INFP by many a cognitive functions test. And then I also type as ENFP by many a cognitive functions test. I identify well with INFPs and I identify well with ENFPs. However, so many ENFPs seem... bubbly, enthusiastic, and very, well, high strung Seven-ish? At times. And I'm just not. At all, really. I have people who would say, "She's Introverted." One time I was talking to a friend about personality theory and she said, "You're an extrovert? Seriously?" My reaction: O____O Erm, yes?

I am equally stimulated by both social interaction and solitude. I need both. I am soft-spoken as well. I don't particularly like being the center of attention. I talk and listen equally in conversation. Sometimes I talk more, sometimes I am mostly silent. I'm pretty mellow. I'm shy sometimes.

Although I also have troubles seeing which is my tertiary and which is my inferior -- my Te and Si also are pretty dang equal. I'm better at recognizing Si when I use it because I live in a family where three out of the five of us are Si-doms or have Si as their auxiliary. I'm beginning now to recognize Te as well, though. So, -shrugs-.

My advice would be: do not over think it. I know I tend to over analyze things. The truth is, if I search deep within me, I feel like everything about me reaches outwards to the world. Even though I definitely have this strong "internal awareness" and this need to constantly be internally aware and internally thinking things over and heavily rely on Fi (seriously, I feel like my Fi and Ne are tangled together O_O), I feel as though I reach outwards.

I hope that helps. LiquidLight had insanely good points too, as always. ^^

 

[Stelmaria]

What matters is not whether you fit in a box, but simply that you know yourself.

x types only exist when there is true balance. For me this is easier to understand/imagine if you treat a personality type as a whole and don't break it down into a "function order".