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Discussion Starter #1
Yeah so. We got married recently, but we dated for about 3 years before that. I'd like to think we know each other very well at this point.

So here's my quandry:


He's a history major. He loves facts and trivia (he whoops ass at Trivial Pursuit, while I
suck royally). He doesn't like to think about the future, because he doesn't see the point. But, he says he loves to brainstorm and make connections with historical stuff (although I don't know the order: facts first then big picture, or big picture then facts). He lives strictly in the present, not the past or the future (unless he's thinking about a trip we might take, haha then he will spend all day researching and basically plan out the entire trip, just for fun). But if I bring up moving to some city for grad school in a couple of years, he just loses interest all together. He loves to travel, but at the same time he becomes very rooted in one place (like, I'm having a hard time convincing him that eventually we are going to have to move).

He acts like a T type to me, as in efficiency and practicality (though that might be the S talking), but I wouldn't really call him
logical. He claims that he doesn't really think in terms of logic, or really much at all when making decisions... I don't know if that's an Fi thing or what. He loves to debate for fun, he plays devil's advocate a lot. He is a big-time charmer. He can, and will, tell a story to anyone. Those last 2 traits had me fooled that he might be an F type, but I really don't think he is. Or maybe he is... gah, I don't know. He loves to be outside working on something (gardening especially, he's not really into building things that much, but sometimes he does), but he also likes studying/writing papers, but prefers it when there is a group project/discussion.

He's not a drama person. He's pretty low key and laid back, but jovial, and he can be energetic. He likes to be in control of situations and people, but doesn't really try to control me (thank god). I'm sure he's an extrovert. He likes things to be ordered, but he puts off big decisions that are in the distant-ish future (small decisions he makes quickly and resolutely). Funny thing is, he teases me for not noticing things/being unobservant (which would seem counter-intuitive, since my aux function is Se, but I was probably staring at something else... or maybe he's MORE observant than I am due to his even high Se?). Actually quite a bit of stuff he does seems Se to me. He does like to be on time for most things, but he tends to procrastinate. Oh, he tends to hold grudges if someone wrongs him bad enough (most people he can re-accept, unless they do something to wreck his reputation/make him look incompetent or weak). He's very confident, bordering on arrogant, though he means no harm of it. I'd say he's just good at appearing like he knows what he's talking about (that whole charisma thing that I soooo don't have/understand... :p)


I don't think he is ESTP, but I could be wrong. I just feel like we think quite a bit differently, so for him to be that similar to myself seems wrong. He's not really a risk-taker, but more of a charmer, persuader. He was into art for awhile, and was pretty good at it from a technical standpoint, but I think he just got bored with it (sounds SP to me). Maybe ESFP? I thought ENTP for a little while, but I am nearly certain his communication style is directing, not informing. He'll say "hey will you go get some milk on your way home from work?" or "Go." at a green light. I appreciate this, as it is my style as well. That, and his focus on the present makes me think "no" to ENTP.


I think ESFP is a possibility, especially since it has the "Get-Things-Going" interaction style (which I'm fairly sure I've narrowed down to his). But there again, his communication style is directing, not informing. The other options for Get-Things-Going are ENTP, ENFP, and ESFJ.


Temperament:

I see some of the
SJ Guardian temperament in him. Even though I feel more detail-oriented than he does sometimes.

Fits
: concrete language use, unless we are debating religion or philosophy (which doesn't happen all too often); associative conversation ("oh yeah, that reminds me: ..."); remembering facts/trivia (I keep telling him he could win huge on jeopardy); he likes family tradition (but not really societal tradition as a whole--he's pretty unconventional with regards to laws/politics, religion, etc, he doesn't like to follow the rules for the rules' sake, even if he ends up doing it anyway); he can be sentimental; he can become rooted easily (would tend to stay in our hometown without lots of persuasion) and can be fairly sentimental at times (mostly with family stuff).

Doesn't fit
: doesn't care about the rules unless they make sense to him; he's not really one to make charts/organize things; he's not that into material possessions or logistics of things; really not into procedures and all that kind of stuff. I'm pretty sure he would hate dealing with routine paperwork. I don't think his motivations line up with the Guardian (his motivation is not "to belong" except maybe for his immediate family... although I'd say that's not exclusive of the guardian temperament anyway); he's not into social or civil groups, clubs, fraternities or anything like that.

Now for
SP Improvisers/Artisans.

Fits
: concrete language use (though I think a little closer to the guardian's style); living in the present; this part: "In implementing their goals, or as they say, “going for it”, [people expressing Artisan] are primarily interested in what works, what fits, and only secondarily in what meets with social approval… a thing must be useful to interest [such people], immediately useful, concretely useful, otherwise who needs it? If some action doesn’t fit your intention and advance you towards your goal, then why do it?" = him very much; being pragmatic; the whole bit about motives I'd say is pretty close (he uses their motives to charm them!); I'm pretty sure he uses tactical intellect like I do (though in a different way--he's not into tools or anything mechanical)--he plays strategy games, he loves to learn about battles and strategy; I think desire to have an impact would be him, too. I don't think he's really particularly spontaneous though... he seems more rooted, more grounded... more guardian-like sometimes. But he dislikes structure and routine being imposed on him, though he may create it himself, for himself.

"This combination of a Concrete and Pragmatic focus (with particular emphasis on the immediate benefits to be acquired) creates behavior which is very much focused on the situation at hand, and determining the best action from what is immediately available. It is this focus on action in the present that underpins the type of intelligence associated with the Artisan pattern."
and "The past is water under the bridge, so forget it. The distant future is a long way off, so don’t waste time planning for it." BINGO.

Doesn't fit
: ummm......? He's more grounded, less apt to want to move around, probably more loyal than I am, and probably more attentive to social norms than I am. Not that it makes him NOT SP, but... maybe he has a higher Fe or Te than I do? Plus, how does he remember all that stuff in his head??? he makes me look like the most scatterbrained, forgetful person on the planet... he manages to keep it all together, and somehow organized.

There's no way he's NF. No friggin' way. And I'm pretty sure he's not NT either. Although he does desire competency.


If he's a guardian, which one? Maybe ESFJ? That would make sense: Fe Si Ne Ti. The Fe would ground him with people, allow him to charm them, persuade them etc, he would be using Ne to brainstorm with his history stuff, Si keeps him from forgetting all those facts and details? I guess he uses a little fuzzy logic now and then with the weak Ti. That makes sense, I think.


And, if he's an SP, which one would he be? If he has directing speech, then wouldn't he have to be ISTP or ESTP? But that does not explain his charisma or his (what I am only speculating) F based decision making (or is it.....?) He's definitely not ISTP. Might be ISFP, but probably not. I'd say ESFP if I had to guess. Then, ESFP = Se Fi Te Ni ... I could see this, too.


What do you all think??
 

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ESTP's at their best are perhaps the best charmers and persuaders out of all types IMHO - ESTP men are typically naturals at 'picking-up' women, excellent promoters (think Donald Trump and Don King) and are usually the most successful in sales departments.

I'm thinking either ESTP or ESFP - I'm leaning towards ESFP at this stage.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Interesting. Thanks guy and gal. :)

I guess ESTP makes sense. Maybe the charming thing is mostly an "E" thing?

Oh, upon further thought "In-Charge" makes just as much sense as "Get-Things-Going". I like it. :)

One more note: was confusing remembering facts with Si, but it's really Se.
 

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I also throw in my vote for ESTP, but I'm far from sure. :dry:
 
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