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Discussion Starter #1
Older INFPs: How do you connect with your type as you get older?

By older i mean 30+ . . .
 

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Discussion Starter #3
how do you mean?
Do you feel more comfortable with the INFP characteristics as you get older?


Do you comfortable in your INFP skin or do you grow away from those traits later on?
 

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I've come to feel like there's no use in fighting against my nature. There are some people I would like to have understand me a little better (my husband, for example) and others that I don't worry about anymore. Some people will just never get it, and I don't feel like trying to make them get it anymore. As Ive said before, several people I know get away with some shocking behavior that's explained away with, "Oh, that's just how So&so is." Well, this is how I am. I will make an effort to get out of my comfort zone and socialize when that's required of me, because it's just not possible to avoid all social situations, even the ones that make me really uncomfortable. But I also expect to be left alone when I need to be left alone.
 

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I'm comfortable with the fact that I am an INFP. I just wish other people were.

If anything, I have grown more stubbornly idealistic over time and am less likely to silently tolerate the destructive practices I accepted in my youth. I am more in tune with my own needs and no longer feel the need to change non-flaws to suit other people's narrow expectations.

If I had been the person I am now back when I was a child, I wouldn't have tolerated being made to go to school. I would have protested almost every aspect of it, explaining how it was damaging to my personal development, and I would have argued convincingly with all of my youthful eloquence and passion.

Instead, it never occurred to me that it was some kind of horrible artificial construct. I took it for granted that it was what everyone had to do. I didn't get good at thinking out of context until I was about thirteen or so, and by then, the damage had been done.
 

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For me, I find myself being more forgiving of myself when I'm not perfect. I've come to realize that my traits aren't defects, but rather parts of myself that make me who I am. I can relate to a lot of the typical INFP traits but at the same time, I realize that in order to function in society, I may have to bend to the wills of others at times. It's not easy, but the older I get, I appreciate little things about myself. For example, I like the fact that I can see things which many people around me cannot or will not. I like the fact that I can help people just by listening to their stories etc. My dream/hope is that I will be able to find a niche in this world that is best suited for my personality that will allow other people to be blessed by my innate abilities.
 

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At first, it was a relief to finally know that I'm not crazy! (Or if I was, I wasn't the only one.) Understanding my type has helped me develop the other cognitive functions that don't come naturally to me. So in a way, I find myself moving away from how a stereotypical INFP is portrayed.

For me, I find myself being more forgiving of myself when I'm not perfect. I've come to realize that my traits aren't defects, but rather parts of myself that make me who I am.
+1

I don't feel like I have to "prove" myself as much as I had to in my twenties. That has been awesome! :laughing:
 

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I didn't learn my type until my early 30's. Before that I thought someday I'd pop out of a cocoon & start acting like everyone else. It bugged me (& my family) that I wasn't like them or anyone else we knew. I've been at peace with my type since learning it though & now at 54 I'm as INFP as I ever was. I'm so used to being misunderstood that it's shocking when anyone has me figured out in the slightest. I'll probably have a big question mark put on my grave stone, just to keep 'em guessing.:happy:
 

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I only worked out that I'm INFP 2 or 3 years ago (I'm 38 now), and it's a description that seems to fit well. HOWEVER, it's only started fitting well once I gave up pursuing a long held dream. A dream that I now know I wouldn't have much enjoyed living, had it come off. So now instead of focussing my energy on doing things to further "the dream", I now find myself doing things that sit right with who I am.

So yup, I guess I only recognised who I am (INFP) once I gave up trying to be someone else. I'm still exploring all that that means, but I'm LOVING it! I love the way my mind slips around things and sees them from behind. I love the associations that I draw. I love the sheer expanse of imagination that is mine (all mine!) to play in. The moments of being wildly emotional are not that frequent, but when they come, that's OK, they're valuable for what they are, and then they'll pass. I've a feeling there wouldn't be one without the other.

All in all, I just feel I'm sinking deeper into my own skin. And that's great!
 
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