Wow. I feel much better about my sorry dating life now.
OMFG Another Dating Thread?
Well I have been potentially dating for the last 4 months. So far I have queued up a few questions to intimidate the next potential with:
Are you a Christian who believes that depression is a spiritual generational illness which can be cured by prayer?
Are you going to envision me naked on a tarpaulin covered in baby oil before we ever meet?
Do you play the bagpipes?
Did you put yourself as "single" on this site within 3 hours of your wife (of 20 years) coming home and telling you she was sleeping with another man?
Are all your friends female and you are totally "in touch" with your feelings because of this?
Do you think my mind sparkles?
Do you have a daughter with an ampetamine addiction and allow her to borrow your car and give her you credit card with pin?
Are you so deep into BDSM and you are trolling for a submissive to stick brooches into her chest?:shocked:
Are you caring for your grandmother, have depression and foot drop and frozen shoulder and your dog just died?
Will you spend the entire date asking me personal questions about my exes without divulging your own whilst throwing in jibes about your ex (who you are technically still married to, thanks for telling me that chump) and her hairdressing bills and fanciful ideas on looking great (since she is actually an actress).
Were you addicted to heroin for the last 5 out of 6 years?
These examples are by real people.....none of them made up.
Has anyone else got any more questions which may indicate red flags that I can put on my list?
Are you a Christian who believes that depression is a spiritual generational illness which can be cured by prayer?
Are you going to envision me naked on a tarpaulin covered in baby oil before we ever meet?
Do you play the bagpipes?
Did you put yourself as "single" on this site within 3 hours of your wife (of 20 years) coming home and telling you she was sleeping with another man?
Are all your friends female and you are totally "in touch" with your feelings because of this?
Do you think my mind sparkles?
Do you have a daughter with an ampetamine addiction and allow her to borrow your car and give her you credit card with pin?
Are you so deep into BDSM and you are trolling for a submissive to stick brooches into her chest?:shocked:
Are you caring for your grandmother, have depression and foot drop and frozen shoulder and your dog just died?
Will you spend the entire date asking me personal questions about my exes without divulging your own whilst throwing in jibes about your ex (who you are technically still married to, thanks for telling me that chump) and her hairdressing bills and fanciful ideas on looking great (since she is actually an actress).
Were you addicted to heroin for the last 5 out of 6 years?
These examples are by real people.....none of them made up.
Has anyone else got any more questions which may indicate red flags that I can put on my list?
1 - 2 of 32 Posts
John7878 is so totally wrong! His father is sick because he has lost his inner Yeti. Only by rediscovering his inner Yeti through slack can he be made whole again. You must tell him about the true prophet and savior J.R. Bob Dobbs... through him we will all be guaranteed salvation through slack, or we will get triple our money back. Just click on the link, not safe for work... requires several pillars of salt to digest... do not take seriously-- become an ordained minister online right now (for a small fee)!I had actually had quite a miserable day yesterday after an argument. I had been chatting to a guy who was so geeky it really gave me the horn, as a matter of fact he gave half of my friends the horn too (as I am not stupid enough to try and make these decisions alone anymore). Mind you my dating is really nothing about wanting marriage, kids or even candlelit dinners and walks along the beach...I am INTJ after all.
.........So I logged on and started chatting to him (I had put off meeting him for the last two days to be sure) I was aware that he was a christian (just not aware of him being CRAZY christian). We chatted about our day, we chatted about his new LCD monitor,that he may be depressed, that he knew his father was depressed, then this came came galloping out of the wild blue yonder......
john7878: my dads been diagnosed as clinically depresesed
john7878: can be a generational spiriit
mdoctrine: I think it may have something more to do with the levels of dopamine and seratonin in the brain mdoctrine: that is hereditary
john7878: well thats your thesis thats ok
john7878: i disagree
john7878: christians believe that all sickness and disease comes from the fall of man - when adam ate the fruit of the tree in the garden
john7878: actually from satan but came thru the fall of man - when adam disobeyed god
john7878: so i believe if u pray against the spirit of sickness and in this case depression then God can heal you,
john7878: and that has worked for me too
mdoctrine: I have to go now
john7878: why is that?
mdoctrine: nice chatting
So...after hyperventilating a little and OMFGing a few times I reflected the last few months of online dating and what came out of it....I compiled this list out of my need to find the humour and get some perspective back.
So TurquoiseSunset I see your very valid point and I sometimes wonder that myself....my sick humour compels me sometimes. This enables catch another glimpse of absurdity so I can perhaps catch an insight into these things called humans? They also give great character ideas for writing:crazy:
SubSite - Start NSF
1 - 2 of 32 Posts
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