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OMFG Another Dating Thread?

3771 Views 31 Replies 16 Participants Last post by  Rose Belle
Well I have been potentially dating for the last 4 months. So far I have queued up a few questions to intimidate the next potential with:

Are you a Christian who believes that depression is a spiritual generational illness which can be cured by prayer?

Are you going to envision me naked on a tarpaulin covered in baby oil before we ever meet?

Do you play the bagpipes?

Did you put yourself as "single" on this site within 3 hours of your wife (of 20 years) coming home and telling you she was sleeping with another man?

Are all your friends female and you are totally "in touch" with your feelings because of this?

Do you think my mind sparkles?

Do you have a daughter with an ampetamine addiction and allow her to borrow your car and give her you credit card with pin?

Are you so deep into BDSM and you are trolling for a submissive to stick brooches into her chest?:shocked:

Are you caring for your grandmother, have depression and foot drop and frozen shoulder and your dog just died?

Will you spend the entire date asking me personal questions about my exes without divulging your own whilst throwing in jibes about your ex (who you are technically still married to, thanks for telling me that chump) and her hairdressing bills and fanciful ideas on looking great (since she is actually an actress).

Were you addicted to heroin for the last 5 out of 6 years?

These examples are by real people.....none of them made up.


Has anyone else got any more questions which may indicate red flags that I can put on my list?
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I had actually had quite a miserable day yesterday after an argument. I had been chatting to a guy who was so geeky it really gave me the horn, as a matter of fact he gave half of my friends the horn too (as I am not stupid enough to try and make these decisions alone anymore).
In all fairness he only gave me a horn because he's an IT expert and was trying to woo you with "tech speak". Was like listening to a mills and boons book for me lolol.

The crazy generational spirit talk is enough to kill any scientifically minded person's libido.
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I had actually had quite a miserable day yesterday after an argument. I had been chatting to a guy who was so geeky it really gave me the horn, as a matter of fact he gave half of my friends the horn too (as I am not stupid enough to try and make these decisions alone anymore). Mind you my dating is really nothing about wanting marriage, kids or even candlelit dinners and walks along the beach...I am INTJ after all.

.........So I logged on and started chatting to him (I had put off meeting him for the last two days to be sure) I was aware that he was a christian (just not aware of him being CRAZY christian). We chatted about our day, we chatted about his new LCD monitor,that he may be depressed, that he knew his father was depressed, then this came came galloping out of the wild blue yonder......

john7878: my dads been diagnosed as clinically depresesed
john7878: can be a generational spiriit
mdoctrine: I think it may have something more to do with the levels of dopamine and seratonin in the brain mdoctrine: that is hereditary
john7878: well thats your thesis thats ok
john7878: i disagree
john7878: christians believe that all sickness and disease comes from the fall of man - when adam ate the fruit of the tree in the garden
john7878: actually from satan but came thru the fall of man - when adam disobeyed god
john7878: so i believe if u pray against the spirit of sickness and in this case depression then God can heal you,
john7878: and that has worked for me too
mdoctrine: I have to go now
john7878: why is that?
mdoctrine: nice chatting

So...after hyperventilating a little and OMFGing a few times I reflected the last few months of online dating and what came out of it....I compiled this list out of my need to find the humour and get some perspective back.




So TurquoiseSunset I see your very valid point and I sometimes wonder that myself....my sick humour compels me sometimes. This enables catch another glimpse of absurdity so I can perhaps catch an insight into these things called humans? They also give great character ideas for writing:crazy:
John7878 is so totally wrong! His father is sick because he has lost his inner Yeti. Only by rediscovering his inner Yeti through slack can he be made whole again. You must tell him about the true prophet and savior J.R. Bob Dobbs... through him we will all be guaranteed salvation through slack, or we will get triple our money back. Just click on the link, not safe for work... requires several pillars of salt to digest... do not take seriously-- become an ordained minister online right now (for a small fee)!

SubSite - Start NSF
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I had actually had quite a miserable day yesterday after an argument. I had been chatting to a guy who was so geeky it really gave me the horn, as a matter of fact he gave half of my friends the horn too (as I am not stupid enough to try and make these decisions alone anymore). Mind you my dating is really nothing about wanting marriage, kids or even candlelit dinners and walks along the beach...I am INTJ after all.

.........So I logged on and started chatting to him (I had put off meeting him for the last two days to be sure) I was aware that he was a christian (just not aware of him being CRAZY christian). We chatted about our day, we chatted about his new LCD monitor,that he may be depressed, that he knew his father was depressed, then this came galloping out of the wild blue yonder......

john7878: my dads been diagnosed as clinically depresesed
john7878: can be a generational spiriit
mdoctrine: I think it may have something more to do with the levels of dopamine and seratonin in the brain mdoctrine: that is hereditary
john7878: well thats your thesis thats ok
john7878: i disagree
john7878: christians believe that all sickness and disease comes from the fall of man - when adam ate the fruit of the tree in the garden
john7878: actually from satan but came thru the fall of man - when adam disobeyed god
john7878: so i believe if u pray against the spirit of sickness and in this case depression then God can heal you,
john7878: and that has worked for me too
mdoctrine: I have to go now
john7878: why is that?
mdoctrine: nice chatting

So...after hyperventilating a little and OMFGing a few times I reflected the last few months of online dating and what came out of it....I compiled this list out of my need to find the humour and get some perspective back.




So TurquoiseSunset I see your very valid point and I sometimes wonder that myself....my sick humour compels me sometimes. This enables catch another glimpse of absurdity so I can perhaps catch an insight into these things called humans? They also give great character ideas for writing:crazy:
This was a really great post to start the day with! Thanks for the giggle Bethdeth!

My ex-best friend is one those of Christians (not all Christians are like that btw, contrary to what John said), and the stuff I had to listen to...well, tell me if you need more anecdotes for one of your characters. There is a spirit for basically any kind of sin (in their opinion, NOT MINE), including homosexuality, a grandparent who was a free mason or a satanist, people who masturbate, a swearing spirit, horoscope spirit, etc., etc. Apparently they can also come through your t.v. or mirrors, so you have to bless those items with a prayer and some blessed olive oil. Yeah, really.

This and a few other religion related incidents screwed up our friendship. She got a fanatical vibe starting in 2006 and then it got really bad when she moved back to my town in Jan last year. She wanted me to be things I didn't feel comfortable with or believed in and she wasn't happy when I refused to join her church or bible study group. Man, the condescending and sanctimoniuos crap I had to listen to after that.

Then she had the bloody cheek to talk about how homosexuality is a manefestation of demonic possesion while we were in a restaurant with our best friends, one of whom is a lesbian, who sat right across the table from her and had to listen to every word! I gave up on her after that.

Can you imagine what John would've said and tried eventually? :crazy:
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Actually what John ( "used to give me the horn over geek talk but now crazy christian guy") said last night and today has been rather unsettling. If I haven't posted within 24 hours I have Hemo on alert to call my mobile then start lines of enquiry over my possible death or abduction and subsequent induction to an excorcism rite or some such shenanigans. :crazy:
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Actually what John ( "used to give me the horn over geek talk but now crazy christian guy") said last night and today has been rather unsettling. If I haven't posted within 24 hours I have Hemo on alert to call my mobile then start lines of enquiry over my possible death or abduction and subsequent induction to an excorcism rite or some such shenanigans. :crazy:
They have a nice word for excorcism in Afrikaans, which translates to 'freeing' or 'liberation'. My "friend" and I went to a presentation about Liberations once. It was on a Saturday and Sunday. When I got there I realised it was less of a presentation, but rather a seminar on how to do it and why possesion happens (basically if you sin you 'open the door'), etc. with loads of videos of past 'liberations' the facilitators have performed.

It was WEIRD and freaked out everyone, and at the end of the first day everyone was convinced they were potentially possessed by demons. :crazy: Anyhoo, these people think you have to be 'liberated' every now and then, just in case...like servicing your car :laughing:
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john7878: and that has worked for me too
To be fair, praying could help one feel better. Still, the whole idea that disease is a punishment... such a negative outlook on life. If I were God, I'd be pretty miffed if one of my peons would blame me like that. There would be faceless homunculi involved... eventually...
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This was a really great post to start the day with! Thanks for the giggle Bethdeth!

My ex-best friend is one those of Christians (not all Christians are like that btw, contrary to what John said), and the stuff I had to listen to...well, tell me if you need more anecdotes for one of your characters. There is a spirit for basically any kind of sin (in their opinion, NOT MINE), including homosexuality, a grandparent who was a free mason or a satanist, people who masturbate, a swearing spirit, horoscope spirit, etc., etc. Apparently they can also come through your t.v. or mirrors, so you have to bless those items with a prayer and some blessed olive oil. Yeah, really.

This and a few other religion related incidents screwed up our friendship. She got a fanatical vibe starting in 2006 and then it got really bad when she moved back to my town in Jan last year. She wanted me to be things I didn't feel comfortable with or believed in and she wasn't happy when I refused to join her church or bible study group. Man, the condescending and sanctimoniuos crap I had to listen to after that.

Then she had the bloody cheek to talk about how homosexuality is a manefestation of demonic possesion while we were in a restaurant with our best friends, one of whom is a lesbian, who sat right across the table from her and had to listen to every word! I gave up on her after that.

Can you imagine what John would've said and tried eventually? :crazy:
:crying::crying:
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*bumped for lulz and because there is a big flush of newbies at the moment*
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I have only one question: How do you fold your tissue paper?
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I am a scruncher....is that where I go wrong?:shocked:
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Do you stalk women and are you jealous to the point of being irrational?

Do you think it's okay to have more than one girlfriend and have them in different parts of the world?

Other than those two problems I've had with two different men; I am pretty good at reading people....:dry:
Do have warrants out for your arrest?
How many DUI's have u had in your life time?
Have you ever had an affair with a family member?
Are your children's friends "datable"?
Do strangers knock on your door and say.."momma said you might be my daddy?"
How many of your friends do you make/meet in jail?
How many tattoos and piercings do u have that i can't see?
What is your education level?
Did your last job require you to ask "Would you like to super size your fries?"
Do you think Vegas is the place to have your best vacation?
Do you think or feel?
Do you have children by several different people?
Are the grandparents raising these children?
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