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MOTM Nov 2010
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Well sorta. I went ENFP-ENFJ-ISTP-INTJ-ENTP-ESFJ-and I'm kind of been flirting with the idea of being with the right INTJ again. It was the most conflict free out of them all. I also grew immensely. Also the other two men I dated after the INTJ, I couldn't stop comparing them to the INTJ. They seemed "silly" to me. I remember telling my INTJ-he was the very definition of "man" to me. And I meant it.

My INTJ was almost perfect in every way. There was just this one place I found him selfish. And it was in a place that I personally found unforgivable so I had to move on. That was sort of unique from what I'm understanding.

Anyway, I KNOW from experience that I work better with "T" men. The attraction is also amazing. Even with the ENTP, there really wasn't any conflict or drama. I like that.

But yeah, INTJs are at the top of my list :blushed:
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
That's what I am afraid of.:angry:
I think I will be a lonely girl forever....
I have a long list of suitors....but none measure up.
I feel as if I am in a sea of fish that can't impress me....

I am afraid INTJ heartbreaks are the hardest to get over. You are right, I dont want to give anyone else a chance.don't want to waste their time....the bar for connecting with my soul has been set too high...

It was the most beautiful interaction I have ever had....
I know those don't come around often....damn amazing INTjs :frustrating: you've ruined me:crazy:
 

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MOTM Nov 2010
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That's what I am afraid of.:angry:
I think I will be a lonely girl forever....
I have a long list of suitors....but none measure up.
I feel as if I am in a sea of fish that can't impress me....

I am afraid INTJ heartbreaks are the hardest to get over. You are right, I dont want to give anyone else a chance.don't want to waste their time....the bar for connecting with my soul has been set too high...

It was the most beautiful interaction I have ever had....
I know those don't come around often....damn amazing INTjs :frustrating: you've ruined me:crazy:
Omg! So you've been there! Yeah...I would wake up crying in the middle of the night!

They DO tend to ruin us I think. You'll get over it, but your standard will be WAY high. I'm serious. I wouldn't even bother. Sorry, but in hindsight I think it's true. You at least have to give it some time. Like I broke up with mine 16 months ago. I'm not really comparing as much anymore. But I made a lot of mistakes afterwards. My INTJ would have hated everyone I dated.

Really, it was like my best friend was gone all of a sudden. They are so precious. Hold onto them if you can. :crying:

That's unless they're assholes. Ha!:laughing:
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Omg! So you've been there! Yeah...I would wake up crying in the middle of the night!

They DO tend to ruin us I think. You'll get over it, but your standard will be WAY high. I'm serious. I wouldn't even bother. Sorry, but in hindsight I think it's true. You at least have to give it some time. Like I broke up with mine 16 months ago. I'm not really comparing as much anymore. But I made a lot of mistakes afterwards. My INTJ would have hated everyone I dated.

Really, it was like my best friend was gone all of a sudden. They are so precious. Hold onto them if you can. :crying:

That's unless they're assholes. Ha!:laughing:
Yes I miss the friendship more then anything.....I wish he could always be a part of my life.
Alas, life is complicated sometimes. He will always be one of my favorite people in the world :happy::happy: Even though he isn't around...
And I will be an old maid because of having known him...:sad:
But....it was all worth it...Can't win them all I guess :confused:
 

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MOTM Nov 2010
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Yes I miss the friendship more then anything.....I wish he could always be a part of my life.
Alas, life is complicated sometimes. He will always be one of my favorite people in the world :happy::happy: Even though he isn't around...
And I will be an old maid because of having known him...:sad:
But....it was all worth it...Can't win them all I guess :confused:
Omg. Word for word, I agree with everything you just said!

I am much better because of the relationship. And I see my ex as a wonderful man that I had the pleasure of experiencing.

Just remember, as ENFPs we don't do anything "lightly". We go into things very deeply. We are not into superficial relationships for the most part. And the connection with an INTJ is even more intense for us I think because they are actually very good for us. I think most times we spend our time trying to "polish up a poo". But it's not like that with INTJ. At least not in my experience.

But there will be others. Actually, I think I fell in love with another INTJ. But I just never had a relationship with him afterwards. He wasn't available. But there will be others if you want it. But I don't think you'll ever really disrespect your time with your last ex. It WAS special. And connection should be rare. It's just that most people aren't even looking for it as deep as we do. And when we find it.....yeah it's amazing.

You'll find it again. It's good for our standards to be raised. We shouldn't be dating everything out there. Our love is too genuine and deep. We are also complex creatures. It's important to have someone "get" us. That is completely rare.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Omg. Word for word, I agree with everything you just said!

I am much better because of the relationship. And I see my ex as a wonderful man that I had the pleasure of experiencing.

Just remember, as ENFPs we don't do anything "lightly". We go into things very deeply. We are not into superficial relationships for the most part. And the connection with an INTJ is even more intense for us I think because they are actually very good for us. I think most times we spend our time trying to "polish up a poo". But it's not like that with INTJ. At least not in my experience.

But there will be others. Actually, I think I fell in love with another INTJ. But I just never had a relationship with him afterwards. He wasn't available. But there will be others if you want it. But I don't think you'll ever really disrespect your time with your last ex. It WAS special. And connection should be rare. It's just that most people aren't even looking for it as deep as we do. And when we find it.....yeah it's amazing.

You'll find it again. It's good for our standards to be raised. We shouldn't be dating everything out there. Our love is too genuine and deep. We are also complex creatures. It's important to have someone "get" us. That is completely rare.
Thank you so much for your post. The bolded statement resonated with me so well. I have never thought of it that way...but you said it perfectly. My entire life, even now as a teacher. I am always looking for the best in others, trying to build up those around me, I am a fixer, an encourager.
When I met him, there was no fixing needed. Just pure unadulterated enjoyment. I have never had the pleasure of just sitting back, soaking it all in, in a relationship. I am always trying to ease something, or make something comfortable.
With him, it just...WAS
He calmed me and I felt more comfortable in my own skin then I have felt in forever. His mind was so beautiful,I feel like I could have taken forever just trying to unravel his thoughts.
I wish he could have felt 1/10 of the connection I did. I think I am still in shock that he didn't. Or maybe, if he did feel it, he didn't say. The circumstances between us ever being anything teeter on the impossible...so I understand. But, I guess I have such mad hope in the world, I overlooked all the complications and just saw 'us' as we were.
I am sorry for rambling....but I have never thought of it in the way you so nicely put it I appreciate your post. :wink:
 

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No one can resist the INTJuju! :laughing: (especially not you squishy ENFPs) :wink:
Squishy squishy Endearingly Nutty Fun People :tongue: We counterbalance you crunchy crunchy Intensely Nutty Terrific Jaffars.

(get it? cause he's a Disney villain and apparently they're all...yeah...you get it :proud:).

Mmm...they should market ENFP and INTJ candy bars. Yummy!
 

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Intensely Nutty Terrific Jafars.
Remember the scene where Jafar has his flipout? :crazy: I couldn't find it on YT, but did find this. :tongue:
YouTube - Jafars CRAZY CHIMPUNK LAUGH

a Disney villain and apparently they're all....
Gotta be a Mastermind to be truly criminally insane. :laughing::crazy: Oftentimes, we challenge the heroes without actually killing them. Instead, we prefer to try to pull them over to the Dark Side...or the Flipside. We do this by putting them in crazy situations of demented do0m, not to break their will, but rather to warp their minds. Like James Bond villains. :cool: And if we fail with them, we'll try to turn their comical sidekicks against them. Remember in The Stand how Randall Flagg identified with Trashcan Man? Or Jar Jar and Palpatine. Or Spongebob and Plankton. Or Pinky and The Brain. There's an interesting connection between order and chaos. And sometimes, they become inverted or overlap. The villain usually uses chaos to bring about their new order. Or perhaps they represent order based on bureaucratic collectivism and state-enforced mediocrity (which is what INTJs seek to destroy, so an INTJ would not be that kind of villain). The comicial sidekick almost always represents Chaotic Go0d or Pure Go0d. The hero's alignment (based on Dungeons & Dragons) can be anywhere from Lawful to Chaotic just as long as they're Go0d. Anti-heroes (like Rorschach) aren't bound by the same rules.

Mmm...they should market ENFP and INTJ candy bars. Yummy!
I would totally! :laughing:
 

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I have never dated an INTJ, but I became very good friends with one for a while...There were circumstantial problems, but he was too, I guess inflexible might be the right word. My dating-past suggests I prefer ENTJs, INFPs, and XNTPs.
 

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I really understand what you guys are talking about in this thread. One of my best friends is an INTJ and I've had feelings for him for almost a year now but can't work up the courage to do anything about it because I don't want to put the relationship we have at risk. In my experience, friendships/relationships with INTJ's are very addicting... when you're lucky enough to have one (or even a few) in your life it's like a drug you can't live without. I can't imagine life without this particular INTJ, he's helped me through the worst time in my life over the last 2 months and I care for him very deeply.
 

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My first boyfriend was an INTJ...

...now every boy I'm interested in, I have to compare to him.
My INTJ was sweet and thoughtful and rational and adorable and... (prattles on and on)
Ahhh~ XNTJ's... :tongue: They can make me melt. *swoon*
Mine too! And yes, I have been known to do the comparing thing from time to time...:kitteh:
 
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