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Not including obvious things like being abusive, cheating, manipulation, coersion etc in one word whats your biggest turnoff in a potential partner?
Il start

Flakiness
 

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When he is procrastinating... with stuff like phimosis... If your penis doesn't work, then fix it! Don't wait until you find a girl who will actually like to touch it..
 

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When he is procrastinating... with stuff like phimosis... If your penis doesn't work, then fix it! Don't wait until you find a girl who will actually like to touch it..
Buying some supplement like viagra helps with that, but if that's not on hand then I've found it can't really be helped if it doesn't want to cooperate.
It creates a negative feedback loop because it makes you lose patience with yourself and causes any initial horniness to fade away and levels of anxiety to increase which caused the problem to begin with.
 

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I've found buying some viagra helps with that, but if that's not on hand then I've found it can't really be helped if it doesn't want to cooperate.
It creates a negative feedback loop because it makes you lose patience with yourself and causes any initial horniness to fade away and levels of anxiety to increase which caused the problem to begin with.
Why not just go to the doctor and get it fixed?
 

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Why not just go to the doctor and get it fixed?
Wouldn't that be like if I told a girl to go to a doctor if she couldn't get wet? It's not like there's something that needs surgery (not in my case anyway). They'd just prescribe something like viagra.
I don't think there's much of anything else a doctor could do about being anxious and uncomfortable in sexual situations, it's down to you and the other person. That's just something that improves with experience I guess.


(If someone has phimosis though then perhaps they should see the doctor about that.)
 

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Wouldn't that be like if I told a girl to go to a doctor if she couldn't get wet? It's not like there's something that needs surgery (not in my case anyway). They'd just prescribe something like viagra.
I don't think there's much of anything else a doctor could do about being anxious and uncomfortable in sexual situations, it's down to you and the other person. That's just something that improves with experience I guess.


(If someone has phimosis though then perhaps they should see the doctor about that.)
They can take your foreskin, you know, snip snip. And personally if I couldn't get wet, I would go see a doctor, that is a serious issue that can ruin my sexlife, and I know there a pills for that when you go trough menopause which I hope never having to experience on my body :s

It is not about about being anxious and uncomfortable in sexual situations it is about not being able to have sex without it hurting. For me that is an issue, I don't want my partner to be in pain when we have sex ( unless it is part of the game ;) )
 

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They can take your foreskin, you know, snip snip. And personally if I couldn't get wet, I would go see a doctor, that is a serious issue that can ruin my sexlife, and I know there a pills for that when you go trough menopause which I hope never having to experience on my body :s

It is not about about being anxious and uncomfortable in sexual situations it is about not being able to have sex without it hurting. For me that is an issue, I don't want my partner to be in pain when we have sex ( unless it is part of the game ;) )
Ohh, I think I read your first post wrong, I thought you were talking about erectile dysfunction on top of phimosis.

I don't think I have phimosis.... it's not exactly comfortable, but I find water or some kind of lubricant makes it a lot easier to slide it back.
But if it actually hurts then yeah, maybe go see a doctor about it. Perhaps circumcision will be necessary (assuming sex is worth it, I don't know if it is).
 

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Ohh, I think I read your first post wrong, I thought you were talking about erectile dysfunction on top of phimosis.

I don't think I have phimosis.... it's not exactly comfortable, but I find water or some kind of lubricant makes it a lot easier to slide it back.
But if it actually hurts then yeah, maybe go see a doctor about it. Perhaps circumcision will be necessary (assuming sex is worth it, I don't know if it is).
No worries :)

No just the whole procrastinating getting things done, such as having a big issue and not fixing it.

I have never been with anyone who had erectile dysfunction.

If you can't slide it over the penishead easily when hard, then I would say you might have it in some form. But I'm not a doctor, just a hypochondriac but that doesn't count I guess :p


Depends on who it is with, but again, just my OP :)

Also I would never blame someone for having erectile dysfunction, what a horrible person I would be, I mean the person can't help it. Why be mad at somebody for something they have no control over. I would also like to specify that I'm not mad at him for having foreskin issues, but more the concept of when people having a problem and not dealing with it just kind of denying it, which doesn't make it go away, that bugs me big time!
 

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When he is procrastinating... with stuff like phimosis... If your penis doesn't work, then fix it! Don't wait until you find a girl who will actually like to touch it..
I had to look that one up. It can be difficult for men to overcome certain feelings of shame, fear, and secrecy, when it comes our penises. We aren't really given the kind of reassurance to open up about such things for the most part. It can be embarrassing and scary to imagine anyone doing anything to such a sensitive and important part of our bodies.
 

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I had to look that one up. It can be difficult for men to overcome certain feelings of shame, fear, and secrecy, when it comes our penises. We aren't really given the kind of reassurance to open up about such things for the most part. It can be embarrassing and scary to imagine anyone doing anything to such a sensitive and important part of our bodies.
Thanks for your insights. But I don't get the shame? I mean it is no ones fault to be "born that way" but it can ruin a sexlife with a partner if your are not able to be intimate with each other. I knew a guy who was actually scared of sex because he in his head had linked it to pain. He had phimosis and had it corrected at a very late age ( around 30 or so) so the sex never became "a thing" for him.
 

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No worries :)

No just the whole procrastinating getting things done, such as having a big issue and not fixing it.

I have never been with anyone who had erectile dysfunction.

If you can't slide it over the penishead easily when hard, then I would say you might have it in some form. But I'm not a doctor, just a hypochondriac but that doesn't count I guess :p


Depends on who it is with, but again, just my OP :)

Also I would never blame someone for having erectile dysfunction, what a horrible person I would be, I mean the person can't help it. Why be mad at somebody for something they have no control over. I would also like to specify that I'm not mad at him for having foreskin issues, but more the concept of when people having a problem and not dealing with it just kind of denying it, which doesn't make it go away, that bugs me big time!
My apologies, of course. I can see why that would bug you. I'm assuming he's afraid of possibly having to go be circumcised. It's not something I would like to do either but I'd probably bite the bullet if it was painful enough. I just wonder how I'd go about doing it.
I'm quite terrified of ever having a sexual or genital problem that should get medical attention and having to go into a doctor's office and trying to explain my dick problems and failed sex life. Feels rather emasculating.
If doctors were robots or it's totally anonymous I think it'd be easier to confess such things.


Well, I don't know... It can feel tight, but the main discomfort for me comes from rolling it back without lubrication because the head is way too sensitive and if there's too much rough friction against it then it's just not nice.
I've heard stories about men's foreskin ripping during sex and that made me rather paranoid about it, but the few times I've had sex I don't remember it being a problem.
I had more problems trying to get a condom on while trying to maintain an erection. lol
 

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My apologies, of course. I can see why that would bug you. I'm assuming he's afraid of possibly having to go be circumcised. It's not something I would like to do either but I'd probably bite the bullet if it was painful enough. I just wonder how I'd go about doing it.
I'm quite terrified of ever having a sexual or genital problem that should get medical attention and having to go into a doctor's office and trying to explain my dick problems and failed sex life. Feels rather emasculating.
If doctors were robots or it's totally anonymous I think it's easier to confess such things.
No need for apologies :) I get what you are saying about the fear, but having it hurt once and then have a normal sexlife seems for me worth the discomfort of having to tell the doctor about it + I hear you get drugs so you wont feel it. What feels emasculating is having to stop sex crying as a guy because it hurts, or so I would imagine.

Well, I don't know... I just don't like the feeling of rolling it it back without lubrication because the head is way too sensitive and if there's too much rough friction against it then it's just kinda painful or uncomfortable.
I've heard stories about men's foreskin ripping during sex and that made me rather paranoid about it, but the few times I've had sex I don't remember it being a problem.
I had more problems trying to get a condom on while trying to maintain an erection.
That doesn't sound to pleasant. :/
I have heard stories about the little string on the tip snapping, that I think is up there in terms of unpleasentness (sorry, I don't have a penis, so I can only imagine)
Hmm.. can she or he ( I don't know which way you swing) lick the bottom of your penishead? or is getting it that far back an issue?
Oh, I'm sorry.. Is it the pressure of knowing what you are about to enter into or the unsexiness of the condom or ?
 

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I don't hate anything about anyone (at least I tell myself this). I feel that hate is a waste of scarce resources that could be better spent elsewhere. It only poisons us in the long run. I have found plenty of things annoying about partners over the years, but most of them have to do with an inability to communicate clearly what they are feeling and thinking from moment-to-moment, and deep seated childhood traumas rearing their heads during unexpected stressors in adulthood. We have a tendency to revert to childhood reactions when we are severely shocked and terrified. I am not immune to this either.

When I get pushed by someone, I tend to either push back, or try to sidestep with my clever wit and argumentative nature. If I really feel cornered, I'm likely to say something vicious and cruel, just to get the other person to back off and leave me alone. I'm not proud of this, and I have done my best to curtail it, but there it is, probably my own worst trait when it comes to relationships.
 

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No need for apologies :) I get what you are saying about the fear, but having it hurt once and then have a normal sexlife seems for me worth the discomfort of having to tell the doctor about it + I hear you get drugs so you wont feel it. What feels emasculating is having to stop sex crying as a guy because it hurts, or so I would imagine.
:) I admit it's not a rational fear. If it hurt that much to where you'd draw tears from it then I don't know why he'd deny it to that extent. It goes beyond the question of "is this too minor to bother doctors over or embarrass myself for?"

That doesn't sound to pleasent. :/
I have heard stories about the little string on the tip snapping, that I think is up there in terms of unpleasentness (sorry, I don't have a penis, so I can only imagine)
Hmm.. can she or he ( I don't know which way you swing) lick the bottom of your penishead? or is getting it that far back an issue?
Oh, I'm sorry.. Is it the pressure of knowing what you are about to enter into or the unsexiness of the condom or ?
The frenulum? Yeah, that part has made me worry the most, though it seems to be more durable than it otherwise looks.

(Oh, I'm bisexual... although I've only had sex with one female before) but yep, she could do that just fine.
Oral was a lot easier than vaginal penetration because I remember that was a struggle to get inside. (this embarrassed her too and I had to try and comfort her and tell her it's not her fault, but it got easier the next few times we did it at least).

I think it was a bit of both of those really... Plus it was surprisingly difficult to find appropriate condoms. A lot of the ones I tried felt too tight like it was cutting off the blood circulation. I was like, "wait, is this normal?".
Trying to get it on and make it comfortable kept taking me out of the moment. Others felt too dry and weird, like I was putting a plastic shopping bag over my dick, ugh... I did find one brand that felt just right but it just had to go and be more expensive. o_O:LOL:
 

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1) Number 1 is a lack of energy.

This is about life, about happiness, about aiming at morality, truth, everything. It is often reflected by a depressed or inhibited attitude, a woundedness. This attitude is one of high expectation and low self recrimination. In other words such a person often holds OTHER PEOPLE responsible for their happiness, rather than themselves.

Not only do they have less energy, but they drain yours relentlessly. Of course the pattern usually has some high energy presentation or you would not even be interested in the first place. But that effect diminishes rapidly in favor of the broken record of woundedness. This often manifests as tired and often as 'busy' when the person realizes that their 'tired' excuse is wearing thin.
 
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:) I admit it's not a rational fear. If it hurt that much to where you'd draw tears from it then I don't know why he'd deny it to that extent. It goes beyond the question of "is this too minor to bother doctors over or embarrass myself for?"

The frenulum? Yeah, that part has made me worry the most, though it seems to be more durable than it otherwise looks.

(Oh, I'm bisexual... although I've only had sex with one female before) but yep, she could do that just fine.
Oral was a lot easier than vaginal penetration because I remember that was a struggle to get inside. (this embarrassed her too and I had to try and comfort her and tell her it's not her fault, but it got easier the next few times we did it at least).

I think it was a bit of both of those really... Plus it was surprisingly difficult to find appropriate condoms. A lot of the ones I tried felt too tight like it was cutting off the blood circulation. I was like, "wait, is this normal?".
Trying to get it on and make it comfortable kept taking me out of the moment. Others felt too dry and weird, like I was putting a plastic shopping bag over my dick, ugh... I did find one brand that felt just right but it just had to go and be more expensive. o_O:LOL:
I have a friend (estp) who claims no fear is rationel :) And as a feeler, I feel every feeling is legit as you feel it. I also think our reptile brain has some strong survival skills so fear of heights I don't see as such an irritinal fear since our brain is just trying to make sure that we survive, but I'm digressing :)
Pretty spot on, so maybe my "hate" is more towards the denial you can have about something towards yourself. So not that he doesn't do anything about it but more that he doesn't realise that he has to do something about it. Very good Hexigoon :) Wanna be my new sparrings partner since you seem to have a talent for this ;)

Oh that good then, I wouldn't worry :)

Me too :)

Rather a struggle then the "is it in yet" :p Good thing you comforted her, sex can be really tough with all the expectations and feelings and so on :)

I don't have a penis, so I can't really say about condoms... I just know they have be tight enough so they don't slide off while using them, but there is a grey area there between too tight and tight but comfortable. Maybe practice would help with this? Maybe start masturbating with them on to get used to the feeling? And try and associate them with something sexy instead of this weird piece of rubber which it can feel like for us as well. I found some with a smell that gives me good associations. Just a tip if you want :)
 
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