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Discussion Starter #1
I'm wondering if...
You could have an online secret life /love with someone...perhaps as an escape from daily life.
Could you share intimacy with someone, love someone, but yet refrain from sharing your daily life, thoughts, struggles?

Thanks!
 

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I'm wondering if...
You could have an online secret life /love with someone...perhaps as an escape from daily life.
Could you share intimacy with someone, love someone, but yet refrain from sharing your daily life, thoughts, struggles?

Thanks!
Doesn't sound like a very sane relationship. Romantic and drug-like.
 

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I'm wondering if...
You could have an online secret life /love with someone...perhaps as an escape from daily life.
Could you share intimacy with someone, love someone, but yet refrain from sharing your daily life, thoughts, struggles?

Thanks!
I don't think that could truly be considered "love" but merely an idealisation and comforting illusion

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I think you could potentially share purely your thoughts/experiences in a conceptual manner and your feelings in a completely raw sense easily. I tend to talk to actual friends I know this way so yeah, I don't see why it wouldn't work online.

You can actually be amazingly personal without ever sharing details, infjs I know in real life I know in real life have a tendency to share this way all the time, so I don't see the difference really. You might not even have to change your speech habits at all.
 

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I could not share myself nor love another in any form that was not transparent. I don't love in secret or hide myself from the people that I love and that love me. We show everything. There are no curtains over the windows when it comes to the way that I show love.
 

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Online love? Yes it is possible. I had many. *cough cough*

I can understand if you wouldn't want to share your monotonous daily life routine and even bothering your partner with your struggles.

But thoughts? How can you love without sharing your thoughts?!
 

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It would be like creating a (hopefully) gratifying living idealization. It would be a sort of love, one diverging from the common definition but still authentic in a rarefied way. The success would depend on the expectations of the parties involved.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Online love? Yes it is possible. I had many. *cough cough*

I can understand if you wouldn't want to share your monotonous daily life routine and even bothering your partner with your struggles.

But thoughts? How can you love without sharing your thoughts?!
I know I didn't give much information. Thoughts in the sense that some topics seem off limit.

How did it work for you?
 

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Yes. I think you'd end up falling in love with that person they wish to have known. The one set apart from the facade of having to live in a reality set in stone; fantasy. But without bridging the gap between the two, neither would end up loving the other whole.

Besides, their mind seeps through into any of what they write; so even not knowing the thoughts and struggles of day to day, their essence(s) is still present.
 

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I'm wondering if...
You could have an online secret life /love with someone...perhaps as an escape from daily life.
Could you share intimacy with someone, love someone, but yet refrain from sharing your daily life, thoughts, struggles?

Thanks!
So, like... emotional pornography, essentially?

No. :frustrating:
 

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Falling in love with someone online, sure. Secret life however doesn't sound right to me. If, lets say, someone is in a relationship and luring you into believing you have something true going on, while the person lives a different life who involves someone else than you as a partner in it, then there's a problem. I would like to meet someone online, minus the secrets.
 

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I know I didn't give much information. Thoughts in the sense that some topics seem off limit.

How did it work for you?
Not well. :tongue:

It all comes down to the depth of relationship you have with the person. The biggest pitfall the internet has is it's inablity to express someone's feelings. There might be times where you would be expecting some attention but you never have any idea what the other person is dealing with himself/herself. So better to skype maybe.

I always ended up falling in love with people from different cultures. And it sucked even more as I wasn't assertive enough. Lol

I don't know what your environment and other factors are like.
It is very well possible in this day and age. All the best! :)
 
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Could you do it? Yes. People do it all the time. Would I advise it? No. I don't think it's healthy to use another person as an escape. Even if the other person were willing to do it for you, I don't think it would be in their best interest to do so because it doesn't develop any sort of personal growth. It's only enabling avoidant behavior. Besides, why the need to hide unless there's some sort of shame involved with some aspect of your life? I don't really get it. In addition, I don't believe intimacy is even possible without transparency and since it sounds like this type of relationship would revolve around hiding things, that's obviously off the table.


I think online relationships in general are just fine though.
 
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