Personality Cafe banner

1 - 16 of 16 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,152 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Another one of these threads [about women]? We have like 10 of these already! :dry:

And why doesn't any one ask the INTJ females about our opinions on stuff more often!? What are we? Chopped liver?
OK, I guess I'll take up LadyAeroniel's challenge.

At least this will be a thread where various INTJ males will probably not be tempted to post pictures of themselves oiling up and posing down.

And yes, sorry ladies, I'm kind of on a spiritual quest to try to have as intense an emotional and sexual relationship as possible, maybe several, without making your hole my main goal.

So you don't have to worry about impressing me. I'm saving myself for my weird psychological experiment.

I don't believe you'll need much help to get started, but IMHO the more interesting answers will be detailed, and just as everyone knows "skinny big tits" is pretty good for women, "tall and not bald" is just as meaningful -- i.e., not at all.

And now, little girl, woman, I hand the thread to you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
520 Posts
Yes, accountability. Also ownership.

Intelligence is so obvious that I almost feel I should omit it here (of course intelligence doesn't only mean mathematical intelligence - frequent error committed by IT guys, but also avoiding biases, strawmen and similar).

Also, I'm too old to date men without communication skills.

Tall and handsome is the ideal of course but since I can remember I've mostly fallen into smart, communicative (excellent listening skills), polite but small and not conventionally attractive guys anyway, so...

[EDIT] It just occurred to me that I'm not sure whether "ownership" means the same thing in general English that it means in corporate English. What I mean is the active attitude to life, being able to take a stance and take the lead when necessary, not being just a passive witness. It's the attitude which in the female version is expressed by the quote "Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,661 Posts
Sorry, Im not a female...

 
...but what Ive heard the most important strength of a man is in his penis; how many dick-ups you can do before the dick breaks into two halfs. Its important you always do 1 dick-up less before the dick breaks into two halfs, because you know... Take it easy with the dick-ups, and be sure of how many dick-ups you can do infront of the ladies before the dick breaks.

Personally I can almost do one dick-up if I focus hard enough, then I almost feel like I am levitating. The next step from there is to be able to spin around while balancing on the erect penis. The ultimate trick is to do dick-ups at the same time youre spinning around
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,177 Posts
Ohh infps can answer too?

Hmmm...

I don't really keep a list as i don't believe in having a checklist but thinking about the question, for me, i think it's responsibility, firmness, calmness, good communication skills, understanding, considerate, strong (mentally and emotionally), logical/rational but not dismissive, smart, basically my opposite (thinking types but doesn't panic) except that im fine with introverts being an introvert myself

Edit:// oh and how could i forget, i seem to be drawned to kind men. Firm, strong, smart but kind. Kind is a generic term. It includes everything that's good, i guess. I hate arrogance.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,951 Posts
Empathy and integrity.

I don't think you can reduce the person to a list of desired/undesired traits though. A human being is much more than that. In the end you fall in love with a person that may only have one (or none) of the traits you envisioned your perfect mate would encompass. In essence, I will not compromise on my core values, hence I cannot see myself being with someone who sees the world in a radically different way (specifically in terms of politics/ethics). Anything else I am willing to compromise on.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,723 Posts
Must haves:

* must be INFP
* must have pillow soft lips
* must say "oh man" a lot in a deep rumbly voice
* must get pretend-frustrated when I say "oh man" even more than him, in an even deeper voice
* must have adorable moments of self doubt
* must talk enthusiastically about his grandma when he eats my chicken
* must have such a big Se blindspot that he doesn't even remember squeezing me like a teddy bear when he was asleep
* must have cheeks that cushion my large forehead when I lean into him



hmmm what else.

hmmmm if I steal his wallet next week then I could add his driver's license number to the requirements list....lol let's see
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,152 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
I don't know if boys are allowed in this thread, but a few people mentioned "accountability."

What is that? Like taking responsibility if you make a mistake? Not being deceptive?

Truly, just confused and....I can't not be understanding. It will make me crazed.

Anyway, as you were. Truly, I'm a celibate emotional vampire pervert, so no need to worry about me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
520 Posts
I don't know if boys are allowed in this thread, but a few people mentioned "accountability."

What is that? Like taking responsibility if you make a mistake? Not being deceptive?
It always freaks me out when I see how many guys write "sex" among "the things they couldn't do without" on okcupid. I mean, most people like sex, that's how mother nature made us to preserve the species, but I find it sad if someone thinks he needs sex so badly they couldn't live without it. What if, I don't know, we are in a relationship and I have some temporary health problems or go abroad for a few months so we can't have sex. Will he have an adventure or go to a prostitute?

Also, I used to read a love and relationships forum, which was a website created by an expensive dating site, only the users wrote there (basically, only really well-off people and no random registrations - I wasn't registered btw). There was this funny type of thread appearing regularly... A guy had an adventure and his mistress got pregnant. The guy was always totally shocked and hated the woman for getting pregnant ("how could that b* do that to me!").

I mean, if you're having an adventure - and I can imagine that some people do, for various reasons - then at least be accountable and don't be utterly surprised if the woman gets pregnant. Don't behave as if you skipped biology classes, you idiot.

[Edit] Recently happened to me: my ex bf - we hadn't talked for several years - contacted me out of nowhere and after exchanging just one email each he offered to visit me and spend a few days in my city (we live in different countries). How funny is that? I asked him to first organise a skype call, just, you know, to check whether we have anything in common anymore. I didn't want to feel pressured to spend several days with a guy I don't know... We agreed on the time for the call several days later. Guess what, he didn't connect :) He forgot :) He wrote me several days later asking when the call was to take place :) When I told him he actually forgot and I don't think him visiting me made sense (why should I waste my time for that?) he apologized profusely but also reacted defensively - how can I not understand that he has so much work he sometimes forgets about such things.

That's precisely about "accountability" :) An adult guy with a good job and a son should be reliable. If he's not, he should take responsibility for that. Due to the time difference the time for the call wasn't perfect for me either, but I was there because I had promised.
 

·
Registered
ENTJ; 8w7; Persian C
Joined
·
9,448 Posts
Dunno - aside from "physical," strength - I tend to have many of the 'strengths' of men, which is why I tend to fancy psychologically 'complimentary' (re: distinct approaches/routes to life), with similar objectives & the same goal/destination as my own. So, I fancy men flexible/adaptable in both ideas, mentality and "high-openness" on the BF-scale since reluctance to experiment bores me to death, unshooken but feasible / reasonable moral codes and principles, particularly non-religious, but I have my tolerances, a profound interest in humanity, deeply emotional and expressive with such emotions, not simply "anger", but the whole wheel, vocal in frustrations and worries/sadness -- not a instinct of mine, also coaxes more openness for myeslf, & can appreciate it within others and indeed, always someone that makes me question my reasoning, pause or reconsider distinct perspectives, my occassional routines, & sometimes, draws attentiveness to others is where I lack in certain decision making, thus, indeed "intelligent" sans intellectualism. I simply find nothing sexually-arousing or romantically impressive about 'high-intellectualism' - or spending days in study fucking more books than me, - (e.g., discussing complex "intellectual / scientific theories / business topics" during bonding/moment(s) of intimacy & lesiure, and of course - a (high libido that cannot be easily quenched / dimmed), and all the other humanly complexities in between.

Well, my record is littered with (NF) and sensor men. Most (NT) men and I just friendzone or hate zone ourselves romantically, not purposely, we just innately fall into this sync- since there is not particularly much we find arousing, or particularly complimentary about one another, they want nothing to do with my intellectualism / have no use for it - (&) neither do I theirs, such relation(s) are still rather fulfilling &, useful outside of romantic, and (feeler)-men supply another type of stimulus and receptivity I seek. Intellectualism, ok. However, intellectualism is not for romance, for myself, anyhow.

Contrary to the regular, I fancy males that are bald - facially/bodily unshaved; muscular and healthy eaters. Slim male humanoid(s) are alright. Tall males make my ladybits clench - some sub-personal biological instinctive response, I suppose - she clenches to many things not so good; but I have no higher-conscious 'preference' there. Have dated men shorter than myself -- do not much care about that stuff.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,424 Posts
a few people mentioned "accountability."

What is that? Like taking responsibility if you make a mistake? Not being deceptive?
i wasn't one of the people who said it, and on top of that i'm not in the relationship game. however.

accountability [per me] is having an accurate and appropriate awareness of your own place in the social networks. and i guess a willingness to acknowledge/act according to that place is a given as well. so i see it as a far more general thing than just being about men or about potential partners. or about lying and blame. it should apply to pretty much everyone, for pretty much any kind of an interaction.

it's more of a sliding type scale to me, such that imo everyone is some kind of accountable to everyone else; it's just a question of the degree. so in a lot of ways i suspect it's the primary means by which i define a "relationship" type of relationship. how accountable are - should - two people be to each another, and why and for what. i think it's always seem to me like the 'commitment' part of relationships is fundamentally that. a kind of implied or explicit undertaking of mutual accountability to one another for things that wouldn't be the business of anyone else.

ima mention too, that along with all this goes my dislike of people who over-arrogate accountability unto themselves. in the form of taking self-important personal credit for actions and their effects on other people that they are NOT appropriately (ime) really entitled to take.
 

·
Plague Doctor
INTJ, 5w4, Ni-T type
Joined
·
6,039 Posts
Mutual Trust
Mutual Respect
Introverted (for me, I just can't keep up with an extrovert)
A willingness to examine beyond surface level experiences.
Consistency of behavior/mind.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,152 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
ima mention too, that along with all this goes my dislike of people who over-arrogate accountability unto themselves. in the form of taking self-important personal credit for actions and their effects on other people that they are NOT appropriately (ime) really entitled to take.
Well, I guess I'll violate my own awareness of my place in this thread, which is none, no place, but I just have to say, "over-arrogate." Wow, you're actually making me go to the dictionary! Yeah, that is the perfect word. Huh. Go figure. Thanks! That's neat! I have this strange feeling, somewhere in the place people have a heart, like happiness at finding a new concept. How odd! But good!
 

·
Registered
INTJ
Joined
·
603 Posts
-Intelligence (I’m attracted to intelligence over looks or social standing. If a guy is an Adonis but has nothing in the brain department, I’m not interested)

-Loyal

-Mature

-Empathetic

-Respectful

-Calm

-likes animals

-shares views of strong family bond (I come from a close knit family and family is very important to me)

-Introverted

-Inner strength with a bit of stubbornness, I don’t respect people who’re door mats...and I have a bit of a stubborn streak)

-Egalitarian

-Thoughtful

- a little more in touch with their emotions

-Honest

-Genuine

-a good sense of humor and appreciation for witty banter

And I find these traits in my boyfriend, @SynthinkingMuse to be honest...



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
Top