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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
INFJ Self-Absorbed, Thoughtless to others, Avoids Responsibility, Self deceptive,
deliberately vague, tells lies to self and others, very concerned about looks
in opposite sex, un-ambitious, thinks rules apply to others but not to self,
moody.


Ouch! I found this description in another forum, of which I am not a member, whilst surfing. Can only assume that the author had been badly hurt by an INFJ or was jealous about something hehe.

I love INFJ/Ps. You guys are responsible for bringing me back from the brink of despair - I am not alone in the universe after all! I can't get enough of your insights which is why I put this on here, not to offend (never) but as a topic for debate. Please give your comments.

Feel embarrassed about the "concerned about looks in opposite sex" comment. I thought that was just a flaw in my own character, not one attiributable to my type? Incidentally my own aesthetic shortcomings worry me far more than how others look; my shortcomings have destroyed my confidence and held me back in lots of ways xx
 

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Well, the description includes this: tells lies to self and others
... and it just doesn't make sense. INFJs are probably the world's worst liars, absolutely no talent for that :crazy:

And by the way, I am not un-ambitious, I just prefer to let other people do the hard work. I like to think that I allow for other people to develop their talents and refine their skills...
 
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Well, the description includes this: tells lies to self and others
... and it just doesn't make sense. INFJs are probably the world's worst liars, absolutely no talent for that .
That's so true for me. I generally blush and begin to stutter. I can't even tell a white lie without feeling like crap.
 

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Blimey - that's a bit strong!

We are self absorbed to an extent.
Thoughtless to others - not at all - quite the opposite. I suspect we come across as thoughtless because we do need to shut some of it out to avoid coming overloaded

Avoids responsibility - rubbish- it may not show up in loud taking the lead type action but we are very responsible - probably more likely to work 1:1 though

I am vague enough already without doing it deliberately! I can't think of a type who is less likely to lie - I think we can come across as inconsistent as we will tend to empathise with the people we with.

Most human beings are concerned about looks in the opposite sex - it's part of being human- I suspect INFJs are one of the types who are also concerned with the person as a whole.

We can be very moody

Rules don't apply - I would attribute that to arrogant people rather than a particular type

Overall - this is pretty much drivel
 

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Well, the description includes this: tells lies to self and others
... and it just doesn't make sense. INFJs are probably the world's worst liars, absolutely no talent for that :crazy:

And by the way, I am not un-ambitious, I just prefer to let other people do the hard work. I like to think that I allow for other people to develop their talents and refine their skills...
I'm a fantastic liar.

But I'm also a mutant as far as the MBTI is concerned.
 

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For me:

INFJ: Self-Absorbed,
possibly...I do find myself very interesting, but then I am equally interested in others.

Thoughtless to others,
Uh, no. I am too thoughtful of others, if anything.

Avoids Responsibility,
I like responsibility if it is the right kind. I often end up in leadership roles, and I am prone to feelings of responsibility towards people or things.

Self deceptive,
ummm...well I don't think so, but maybe I am deceiving myself? lol

deliberately vague,
Huh? I don't understand that. No, I genuinly don't. Is this to do with deseption still?

tells lies to self and others,
I don't actually lie much, I aim to be honest in both instances. I do lie, but very rairly and only with good cause. I am actually very good at lieing, and putting up a front. If you count putting a front on, then yes INFJs lie, but deceptive is probably a better word.

very concerned about looks in opposite sex,
What? Oh not at all, I am attracted to people first, then I contemplate their exterior. If I like someone a lot often I think they look more atractive, even if they are really just ordinary in apearence, or have less flattering features. I also find objectivly atractive people ugly if they have ugly minds or personalities.

My mother was worried I'd fall for a proffessor when I went to uni, excactly because I don't care too much about looks.

I am not one of those girls who gets crushes on celebraties, or watches films because it they have "hot guys" in them.

un-ambitious,
Ha! I am the most insainly ambitouse person I know.

thinks rules apply to others but not to self,
more, wishes rules apply to others and not to self. Unless the rules involve obiligitory ice cream, or other nice/sensible things.

moody.
Ok...this is clearly either a work of pure resentment, or a parody list.

Lies and slander! (we should sue:wink:)
 

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For me:

NFJ Self-Absorbed

Yes I think I can be. I tend to reflect on who I am and who I want to be and I can be very concerned about how others are making ME feel.

Thoughtless to others

Definitely not! I get frustrated at times because in find myself doing things for other people to make their life easier or to keep the peace.

Avoids Responsibility

What! Definitely disagree. I always feel like it is my place to be the responsible one because I've done it so much that it is expected of me and my conscience won't let me have it any other way!

Self deceptive

Not sure what this means...

deliberately vague

No! If I am teaching someone something I will make sure they know how to do it properly. I hate it when someone asks me to do something but they don't explain themselves properly. I don't expect others to read my mind when showing them something so don't do it to me.

I suppose if I don't want to reveal something personal about myself then I may avoid the question...

tells lies to self and others

For the most part lieing doesn't feel natural, I feel all guilty and ashamed afterwards. So direct lieing is something I don't do very well; however, from another perspective I may lie if I think it is going to benefit someone but even then it is not a direct lie more of a "I don't know I didn't hear what she said" kinda lie. I just deny being in the situation the person is talking about.

very concerned about looks in opposite sex

At first yes, but not VERY concerned. I don't have a list of what I like or don't like because there are times when I 've met guys who were not physically attractive but their personalities were so wonderful that they suddenly became attractive when they opened their mouths.

un-ambitious

I love learning and I would love to be a successful writer/author and I'm at University right now! Does that sound un-ambitious?

thinks rules apply to others but not to self

I want to say no to this but...sometimes I may feel that I know the rules so well that I can break them and get away with it but no one else has the right to do that! If that makes sense. I can't think of an example.

moody.

Mostly I appear calm on the service but I have off days where I can be incredibly moody! At work I always keep calm and professional but at home I let loose haha.
 

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Self-Absorbed, Thoughtless to others, Avoids Responsibility, Self deceptive,
deliberately vague, tells lies to self and others, very concerned about looks
in opposite sex, un-ambitious, thinks rules apply to others but not to self,
moody.
Yup. All that applies to me, but I hope only in my worse moments. And it's not because I'm INFJ. It's because I'm human... :crazy:

I'd love to see that in context, and what the verdict on the other types were. :dry:
 

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I can actually see that being applied exactly to me, by people I know especially family...
But they don't 'see' the whole picture
and it's more that I don't do things their way that they misunderstand/misinterpret

The only one that doesn't fit me is this. If anything, should be written rules apply more to me than others
thinks rules apply to others but not to self
 

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Self-absorbed - this can be said of all introverts, our primary function is introverted out so obviously we will be spending more time to ourselves, unfortunately I have gathered that to other people this can look like selfish behavior :(

Thoughtless to others - having no thoughts for others? or appearing to others to act on a whim? i don't get this one

Self-deceptive - everyone is, ever done something in your life that you couldn't understand why you did it afterwards? that's was self-deception right there

Deliberately vague - not deliberately it is just my general state of mind, sometimes i have great trouble recalling specifics

Tells lies to self and others - i guess this goes along the lines of being able to see situations from different points of view, kind of like twisting reality in your mind, gives impression to people that you are inconsistent and they start suspecting you of low integrity

Concerned about looks - I have never been one of those girls who goes after "cute" guys because they are cute looking, I am concerned about looks somewhat but not anywhere to the extent that I've seen other girls concern with it

Un-ambitious - only if INFJ has lost meaning or hasn't gained meaning in his or her life, for some people it might be their research or studies or career, for others it is their family, then we give our 128%

Thinks rules apply to others but not to self - this can be said of all introverted logic MBTI types as our logic is subjective, it is our own

Moody - not moody, calculating >:)
 

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INFJ Self-Absorbed, Thoughtless to others, Avoids Responsibility, Self deceptive,
deliberately vague, tells lies to self and others, very concerned about looks
in opposite sex, un-ambitious, thinks rules apply to others but not to self,
moody.


The first two don't apply to me at all. When I'm making decisions, I can't help but think of the other people involved, and I often battle with myself about whose needs should be met by my decision. As far as avoiding responsibility, I generally take responsibility even for things that are in no way my fault. Rather than being vague, I'm usually pretty specific, even going so far as to use examples to further express my point.

I've mentioned on here before that I'm very unconcerned with looks. In fact, I often can't even give a good description of people I've met because I pay so much more attention to the overall feeling I have around them than I do to details like eye color or height.

Really, the only things in this list that do apply to me are "moody" and "un-ambitious." I'm really, really moody, and I fully confess that it's one of my worst faults. And unless I want something pretty badly, I lack ambition.
 

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None of it fully applies to me except for "moody". I do admit that I pay attention to looks in the opposite sex, but if a girl is shallow and mean- despite how attractive she is- I won't like her.

I would really like to think that I'm not self-absorbed, but I agree with vel to an extent. I guess because I am an introvert it has been more of an effort to not be this way. Latley, I've felt like I would trade Ni for a different thought process if I could, but I can't help it. I just try not to use it too much.
 

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I agree, that was all pretty nasty. I hope the person grows and learns something and I hope the poor INFJ recovers from the relationship with this person. It must have been horrible for the INFJ.
 
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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I'd love to see that in context, and what the verdict on the other types were. :dry:...

Some INFJs were innocently chatting away about anything and everything, then this guest person jumps in with her type-analysis, jumped back out and left the room desecrated! It felt like they'd been slaughtered! Not pleasant at all x
 

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While not pleasant it gives you a perspective how INFJs can appear to some people. Frankly nothing but the last part about moody is out of line of what I heard before, of the negative side of INFJs. You think you're vulnerable and holding back - others think you are selfish not sharing yourself and being ambiguous on purpose, that you have some ill intentions to hide. You try to dress well to please others thinking you'll look sharp in this - others think you're concerned about looks too much. You feel that you're lost and not sure where to head in life - others think you're un-ambitions, whiny and lazy. And on it goes.
 

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tells lies to self and others
Okay so you're hiding 100 Jews in your basement and an SS officer asks you if there are any Jews down there.

You...

A- Lie
B- Tell the truth :dry:

very concerned about looks in opposite sex
Suspicion- Guy was turned down by INFJ girl

Suspicion level raised to 90% :laughing:

unambitious
There are plenty of different kinds of ambition.

Yeah... who has emotions? Emotions are weird.
 
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