[NeonMidget]

Open expression of strong emotions "cathartic episodes" in front of/with your S.O

I recently had a slightly strange happening? moment? time? I can't quite find the words to explain it but let me set the scene in hopes you may understand; :dejection:My partner & I were watching a comedy movie, it had a pretty rocky emotional underlying plot, it must have struck a nerve or something next thing you know I'm suddenly wracking in sobs, a teary snotty mess, it was almost like a panic attack; in fact, it probably was one. "No I do not have a very traumatizing past or much emotional baggage, it would probably be considered mediocre compared to some people."

This was very out of the ordinary for me, I'm not a very emotional person in my day to day life, let alone showing raw emotions to someone out of nowhere in such an intense fashion. I didn't know what quite to do and neither did they. The movie played in the background while I broke down in their arms, this continued for nearly 2 hours. I'm usually a pro at controlling myself both mentally and physically but i just couldn't, they stayed there every second monitoring me talking when I needed assurance and just being a comforting presence in my time of extreme distress. After the wave passed I felt so drained, we talked and I tried to vocalise what had just happened but it was hard when even I didn't really know. :confused2:

Today is the day after, I don't feel anything, I'm back to my old emotionless self. It was for sure an experience and a half with my S.O I had never felt so vulnerable but protected and totally and utterly safe in my life. :distant:

What I want to know is, have you shown raw untethered emotion to/with a partner? how did it affect your relationship and or life ?:adjoint:

 

[marybluesky]

I visited your profile. You are XNTJ, not often in tune with your emotions. It is normal to have such an emotional rush.
As an INTP, I can see how raw and rude our emotions can be. They are invisible most of the time but exist powerfully in deep layers of our psyche. Sometimes a flick- which may seem minor outwardly- cause them to gush like a volcano: it is a way to release the accumulated emotions. They wouldn't turn into such a storm if understood and shown gradually.
I haven't experienced any emotionally cathartic episode with my exes. I wasn't so close to them anyway.

 

[series0]

I agree with @marybluesky in that TJ emotions build from nowhere and overwhelm you. It's GOING to happen. You are restrained with emotion so it will build up over time. Literally, your body, your animal, needs to express everything some. If you do not, it will for you.

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To answer your question, becoming vulnerable to a partner is part of the whole point of partnership to me. If I cannot be vulnerable to a partner they fail my filter. Since I am an 8, and very tough in presentation, I cause this test very soon in a relationship, being paranoid and fearing betrayal. Most women fail utterly and do not pass my earliest filter. This is one reason a lot of men posture around beautiful and sensual women. Even I do and I know very well what I am doing. I am suspending my vulnerability test until I can get to intimacy with that ... beauty or warmth. The reason why is NOT because I am cheesy and manipulative. It is because experience teaches me that most women will fail the test of me showing my vulnerable side.

As I matured, I learned how to be vulnerable in strength and then I didn't have to JUST let go and let my emotions erupt uncontrolled onto the stage. Further, for me, one thing about uncontrolled emotions is that they are causal to ... uncontrolled emotions. This means they are simply unwise in general. If you make a habit of it you are immature. You can control even deep emotion by balancing them with their restraining emotions. Once you know how, it is not so hard.

For those of you who doubt that control should always be in place, you are wrong. Try letting Superman, for instance, lose control. Try giving Gandalf the ring. The powerful have a dread responsibility to remain in control. They can break things too easily to afford themselves the egotistical childish privilege of letting go. The truth is ... we are all powerful and should restrain ourselves and not let go. As you mature you will not need to over-control. Balance will be more the norm.

With the TJ temperament, as you mature, you will find proper intended release of all emotive states in life. Then these uncontrolled eruptions will lessen or cease.