[_sunkissed_]

Hi,

I am 4w5 and i find it somewhat hard to share my emotions verbal.

Other people tell me most times that I seem like a happy person, and most people generally find me likeable. I can talk and joke also I am a good listener.
Myself, I usually don't really share deep personal information with other people because I don't see why I should share personal matters with everybody, why should they care and sometimes I think that I will almost scare people if I tell them everything, it's like some know this about me and some this. It's not because I seem really awkward or too shy, and maybe because of this a few people have called me cold and snobby or said that they thought this of me when they met me the first time.
I am very sensitive and my emotions are very deep and I always go by my heart. I am ok with what some people who I don't really know think some about me. But the people closest to me, the people I love, I really want to open up more they deserve this trust. Of course they know me good and see more of me, who I am. But sometimes it's so difficult, I want them to know what i think and feel about me and my emotions, and talk freely about this, but it's difficult. Maybe because of a combo of that I naturally think that it's difficult. That I think they get overwhelmed because of just as happy I can be, I can be sad and I think I will sound weak, crazy and depressed if i share this and all I have done, and if i share all that I am afraid that they will walk away. I also have some family problems when I was younger with my father where he was sick and i remember one day i was crying and he sent me home to mother when he saw because of his own problems and when he said he didn't have any feelings for anybody and even me. I don't feel good writing this, or any of this because i think its too much and because i know him and he loves me but still our relationship is not the same we don't really talk.

But to go to the thing that I am looking for some advice for. I want to open up more and more, but there's so much fear connected with doing so. I want to talk like this with people close to me and much more, it's ok when writing but it seems so impersonal and you have to talk, I need advice on how to force myself to becoming better to open up and talk about my emotions. I just feel so sad and alone, and when I am not with my fiance and i also want him to know everything but again i am afraid that i might scare people if i sound too sad and melancholic, because I also know that I can sound dramatic.

I know that this was little long and maybe a little bumpy, but thank you for taking your time to read all of this. Half sure of what I am asking about but i hope some of you has some words to share and if you easily open up about your emotions to people or not.

 

[chimeric]

I would start by sharing what you said here and gauging the reaction -- letting people who are close to you know that there is a lot you hold back, then testing the waters to see if they are open to hearing more. Art can also be a good outlet. I also encourage you to remember that many people are the same way. You can sometimes open up by providing them an opportunity to do so.

 

[hmm87]

Although I'm not a 4w5, I know what you mean about wanting and not wanting to share at the same time. I had 2 main issues, fear of showing vulnerability and thinking that what I want to share is SOOOOOO complex that nobody could possibly begin to understand a fraction of what I feel (naturally). Over time I learned that vulnerability is a good thing in moderation. Once you are okay with telling someone "I have a fear of...." or "When this happens I feel anxiety because....", you will see that actually there is nothing scary about it because guess what, everyone is afraid, anxious, worried, unsure, etc... about something. Also, NEVER sharing your feelings with people that are close to you may create distance between you as they may begin to feel you don't trust them or that you think too highly of yourself.

In terms of sharing feelings that I was sure that nobody can understand, I was surprised almost every single time. It turned out that the people that were closest to me apparently were completely in tune with what I was talking about AND willing AND more than happy to listen, give advice if they could, or just talk about ANYTHING when I came to them for support. Moreover, nobody was ever as

As a side note, I hope you don't mind me talking about this for a second:

I also have some family problems when I was younger with my father where he was sick and i remember one day i was crying and he sent me home to mother when he saw because of his own problems and when he said he didn't have any feelings for anybody and even me.

It's possible that he didn't want you to see him in a vulnerable state as he may have thought it would make YOU think less of HIM. My dad also used to pretend nothing ever hurt him or made him sad, which is probably a factor in why I was so unwilling to show vulnerability for a long time, and it could be the same reason you have this fear. Fortunately and unfortunately, we tend to want what's best for those who are closest to us, but do things in a way that we think works best for them but instead is actually best for us.

 

[_sunkissed_]

Although I'm not a 4w5, I know what you mean about wanting and not wanting to share at the same time. I had 2 main issues, fear of showing vulnerability and thinking that what I want to share is SOOOOOO complex that nobody could possibly begin to understand a fraction of what I feel (naturally). Over time I learned that vulnerability is a good thing in moderation. Once you are okay with telling someone "I have a fear of...." or "When this happens I feel anxiety because....", you will see that actually there is nothing scary about it because guess what, everyone is afraid, anxious, worried, unsure, etc... about something. Also, NEVER sharing your feelings with people that are close to you may create distance between you as they may begin to feel you don't trust them or that you think too highly of yourself.

In terms of sharing feelings that I was sure that nobody can understand, I was surprised almost every single time. It turned out that the people that were closest to me apparently were completely in tune with what I was talking about AND willing AND more than happy to listen, give advice if they could, or just talk about ANYTHING when I came to them for support. Moreover, nobody was ever as

As a side note, I hope you don't mind me talking about this for a second:

It's possible that he didn't want you to see him in a vulnerable state as he may have thought it would make YOU think less of HIM. My dad also used to pretend nothing ever hurt him or made him sad, which is probably a factor in why I was so unwilling to show vulnerability for a long time, and it could be the same reason you have this fear. Fortunately and unfortunately, we tend to want what's best for those who are closest to us, but do things in a way that we think works best for them but instead is actually best for us.

Thank you it helped. I guess you are right, it's maybe just abouts starting with giving a little. But it is hard, and it is nice to hear others stories. Yes now when I'm older I'm more aware of this, in some ways I look like him, but it hits hard when you are so young, so you even though you know you have the doubt and fear.

 

[hmm87]

Thank you it helped. I guess you are right, it's maybe just abouts starting with giving a little. But it is hard, and it is nice to hear others stories. Yes now when I'm older I'm more aware of this, in some ways I look like him, but it hits hard when you are so young, so you even though you know you have the doubt and fear.

My pleasure!
And yes you are right it is hard to open up but just like all fears, once you face it and start to open up it will get easier and less scary.