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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was in a bar with a group of people the other night and one of them is an ENFJ. I've only met him a few times and the only time we've really talked is the first night we met when we talked a lot and he seemed like a fascinating person and interested in me(not romantically, it's not that kind of thing) but we haven't really hung out or talked like that since. Anyway, he was talking to someone else and I was not talking at that moment and out of the blue he turned to me and said, "You're an enigma because you internalize everything."
I thought that was interesting. I've read that ENFJs are really good at reading people. He's the only ENFJ I think I've known and I don't know him well. Do you think INFPs can be harder to read than other types, or what type to you think is the hardest to read? I've also heard that ENFJs like INFPs for their vulnerability. I'd love to hear what you think. Thanks! :)
 

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I dates an infp as an enfj there gift and a curse for me, there sorta good friends, and very amazing in the beginning of relationships when your not really focused on the actual relationship, but you guys really stink at communication, it really kills me because you guys have such emotional depth, but you think that someone in particular will understand you fully, you guys tend to be very stoic and very present in yourself. Try being friends with the guy first, it wouldn't be a bad idea to seek him out if your this interested it wouldn't be weird at all. But yeah infps have stoic personalities, my infp came off as intimidating to people, but was just always misinterpreted for that
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I dates an infp as an enfj there gift and a curse for me, there sorta good friends, and very amazing in the beginning of relationships when your not really focused on the actual relationship, but you guys really stink at communication, it really kills me because you guys have such emotional depth, but you think that someone in particular will understand you fully, you guys tend to be very stoic and very present in yourself. Try being friends with the guy first, it wouldn't be a bad idea to seek him out if your this interested it wouldn't be weird at all. But yeah infps have stoic personalities, my infp came off as intimidating to people, but was just always misinterpreted for that
The most shocking thing anyone has said about me is that I'm intimidating. That's not how I perceive myself at all. Thanks for your reply :) If an ENFJ thinks I'm bad at communicating with them, they should see me with another introvert haha.
 

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I just wrote the wrong type by accident, i originally thought when we were dating she was an enfj, but then i came to the conclusion she was im fact an infp, very much so, ive had other people help me type her
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Some INFPs are actually pretty intimidating. Unhealthy INFPs can look (and be) really hateful.
Yeah, anyone who isn't very emotionally developed can be hateful and stuff... I don't think he meant that I was unkind or anything. I think that person and this ENFJ guy may both have assumed I'm mysterious or something because I keep to myself, but what do you think I can do to change that kind of perception? I mean, it's not an awful thing for someone to think about me but I want people to think I'm approachable. It's important to me not to be judgmental and I don't want people to hold back with me because they might think I'm cold or that I'll judge them... Would I have to just put myself out there more to get people to stop seeing me this way? That's really hard for me to do and that's another big reason I want other people to feel comfortable being that way with me since I almost definitely won't be comfortable with it at first. Is that selfish?
 

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Yeah, anyone who isn't very emotionally developed can be hateful and stuff... I don't think he meant that I was unkind or anything. I think that person and this ENFJ guy may both have assumed I'm mysterious or something because I keep to myself, but what do you think I can do to change that kind of perception? I mean, it's not an awful thing for someone to think about me but I want people to think I'm approachable. It's important to me not to be judgmental and I don't want people to hold back with me because they might think I'm cold or that I'll judge them... Would I have to just put myself out there more to get people to stop seeing me this way? That's really hard for me to do and that's another big reason I want other people to feel comfortable being that way with me since I almost definitely won't be comfortable with it at first. Is that selfish?
If you feel uncomfortable putting yourself out there too much, a good alternative is to try to get people to talk about themselves. Basically, don't stop asking questions. So for example, with that guy who made a comment about you being an enigma, you might have felt kind of taken aback because it feels uncomfortable for people to probe too deeply into your inner workings. But instead of focusing on that, a good way to continue the conversation is to focus on the other person. So you could respond with something like, "Really? What makes you say that?" or "Wow, you seem really good at reading people."

In time, as you get to know them better, you'll naturally let your guard down slowly and it won't feel as scary or forced. And we ENFJ's are pretty good at making people feel at ease, so if you give us a chance and help keep the conversation flowing, it should go pretty smoothly!
 

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Do you think INFPs can be harder to read than other types, or what type to you think is the hardest to read? I've also heard that ENFJs like INFPs for their vulnerability. I'd love to hear what you think. Thanks! :)
You will see each other as an enigma, if you take a look at the functions of your two types, you don't have a single function in common. It adds to the mystery. INFPs and ENFJs are said to be in extinguishment relations: ENFJ relationship types
 

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fuck us, what about you guys? you can be manipulative, and take things out on people. but when we don't know you very well, ur very nice.
My opinion on this one is, quite eloquently put, disgusting.

Now the rest of you lovely folks are enigmatic to a degree of sexiness like no other.
 
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