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Discussion Starter #1
Unfortunately "love" has lost it's meaning in society. Young teenagers tell their partners they love them all the time, then two weeks later are telling someone else the exact same thing.

Despite what older generations like to claim, I don't think teenagers are actually incapable of love- I think they would know the meaning. I just think teenagers like myself, as a whole, tend to abuse it. And because of the majority, the minority who REALLY mean it are left being criticised by their elders.

Personally, I think that only time can determine whether or not their love is real, not their age.
 

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Or perhaps it's all relative. Three years ago I thought I knew love. Now I lol at how wrong I was. Or perhaps I should say that I know more deeply about love now. Back then I loved with the capability I had back then, I didn't know of more.
 
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Or perhaps it's all relative. Three years ago I thought I knew love. Now I lol at how wrong I was. Or perhaps I should say that I know more deeply about love now. Back then I loved with the capability I had back then, I didn't know of more.
Personally, I just think that I'm always of mixed opinions when I see someone say to a teenager (in real life or on the Internet) you're young and stupid, you don't know what love is. But what would they be saying in 10 years time if they were living happily married together? I've never had it said to me, mainly because I wouldn't go shouting it out to the world. I think you can develop your idea of love as you grow older. But on one hand I also think it has to do with the maturity of the mind.
I really hate my peers who do what I mentioned up there^. I don't understand the point of saying it if it's just another meaningless thing to add to a growing list. Just because you date someone, just because you're attracted to their looks, does not necessarily mean that you love them.
 

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Whether or not others see it, I now mean more when I say "I love you." And yeah, understanding love comes with age and experience, maturity of the mind, like you said. But there are a lot of shallow people and people who don't really reach what me or someone else would call maturity of the mind.
 

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Romantic love can be felt at any age. However, this is a difficult subject, because it will always be a case by case scenario, there are no practical rules to codify when a person is really in love. Simply put, to many, love means different things, and some others are consude by "TV love", or romance as seen on TV/society. That kind of "love" rarely is, yet many follow that model. However, I've been in love several times in my life, and can honestly say every time it was true, even though I wasn't prepared for love and relationships as I am now, of course. Still, what if two young people really love each other and mean it/are commited to each other too? It stands to reason that such a thing will be rare, but it might nevertheless be real (even though it may not last long, due to relationship inexperience-don't forget that love needs to be nurtured, as some people really mean their love but are severely lacking in relationship skills.)
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I don't think that teenagers are very good at love or romantic relationships, which is why I haven't had one yet.


Although, I don't think that's the only reason...
As stated up there, I just think it's a matter of developed thinking and maturity from BOTH parties. I've seen teenagers have successful romantic relationships before.
As for the small text I nearly missed, I used to feel the same way. My sisters started dating when they were 10, 11 and 12. Me? Not until I was 15. It was depressing. I used to think something was wrong with me (and I still do). In looks, personality. But trust me there is someone out there who appreciates you for you. Ironically enough the moment I stopped looking, the moment it happened. It'll happen when you least expect it, I'm told.
If I misinterprated what you said, my sincerest apologies. :blushed:
 

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You don't know what love is until you experience it.

Therefore, the young mind will depend on definitions of love presented by the media while likening it to anything they have ever felt strong feelings for (such as a pet, a family member, a movie, a sports victory, a favorite song, favorite food, etc). The result is they will use the phrase whenever a) they are in a relationship with a pretty face since that's what movies (mainly teen movies) teach people or b) they experience a strong feeling when they are around the person.

Eventually they will learn that what they experienced was either false or not as intense as they believed. They might even learn what true love is. Only until that day, it's a lot of trial and error.

It may be a little excessive and a little obnoxious, but it not the most condemnable behavior in my opinion.

But as a personal anecdote, I didn't use the phrase "I love you" a lot if ever in my teen years. Yet when I experienced my first love, I knew it... sort of. It took me a few months to figure it out, but I don't need to wait several more years to know what I feel is truly love. All I really had to do was become conscious of my feelings.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
You don't know what love is until you experience it.

Therefore, the young mind will depend on definitions of love presented by the media while likening it to anything they have ever felt strong feelings for (such as a pet, a family member, a movie, a sports victory, a favorite song, favorite food, etc). The result is they will use the phrase whenever a) they are in a relationship with a pretty face since that's what movies (mainly teen movies) teach people or b) they experience a strong feeling when they are around the person.

Eventually they will learn that what they experienced was either false or not as intense as they believed. They might even learn what true love is. Only until that day, it's a lot of trial and error.

It may be a little excessive and a little obnoxious, but it not the most condemnable behavior in my opinion.

But as a personal anecdote, I didn't use the phrase "I love you" a lot if ever in my teen years. Yet when I experienced my first love, I knew it... sort of. It took me a few months to figure it out, but I don't need to wait several more years to know what I feel is truly love. All I really had to do was become conscious of my feelings.
But what's stopping teenagers from experiencing love? You can't say teenagers don't know what love is because they've never experienced it. How do you know that? Is there a Love Scale we're rating people on? Do teenagers score lower than adults?

I don't think all teenagers are as impressionable as you make them out to be. Love on TV is, as many of us know, ridiculous. Tenagers are not mindless drones religiously obeying everything the media shows them (or not all of them, anyway). Though I admit, this could have an impact on at least some of them. After seeing countless of movies where the words "I love you" are tossed around so much so carelessly, I suppose it could be expected. I just don't condone the notion that just because some teenagers behave this way, that it should be automatically assumed they're ALL that way.

The simple fact of the matter is, you don't know how a person feels. You can't tell them whether or not they're in love; whether or not they're capable of being in "real" love as some people call it. Resultingly, I don't see it fair to go around saying to people, "You're not in love. You're too young. Too stupid." It's judgemental. It's assuming you know the person better than they know themselves. Which I would find particularly offensive if it were some stranger over the Internet.
 

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Love is one of those universal yet entirely subjective concepts.
So even the twisted varieties that no one else will understand or might not approve of, eh, it's still someone's version of it.

So meh.
 

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I think if two individuals have feelings for each other and they both acknowledge it, then it is love. It's just a matter of the relationships that come with them. There are unhealthy relationships, neutral relationships, and healthy relationships.
 

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But what's stopping teenagers from experiencing love? You can't say teenagers don't know what love is because they've never experienced it. How do you know that? Is there a Love Scale we're rating people on? Do teenagers score lower than adults?
Never said anything of the sort in my post. I was just describing the phenomena of young people who use the phrase in an apparently excessive and possibly abusive sort.

It can probably be argued that one cannot fall in love until after puberty and after they solidify their higher cognitive functions. Though, Piaget's developmental model puts formal operations (the last stage) at age 12 which is around the same time of puberty. Kids could probably find deep interest in another at the ages of 7, etc, but if that develops into love later in life then it's a coincidence.

But, I won't argue teens cannot fall in love. Though, maturity might be needed like some suggested since love is an emotion oriented outside one's self (in my opinion).

I don't think all teenagers are as impressionable as you make them out to be. Love on TV is, as many of us know, ridiculous. Tenagers are not mindless drones religiously obeying everything the media shows them (or not all of them, anyway). Though I admit, this could have an impact on at least some of them. After seeing countless of movies where the words "I love you" are tossed around so much so carelessly, I suppose it could be expected. I just don't condone the notion that just because some teenagers behave this way, that it should be automatically assumed they're ALL that way.
I am an aspiring sociologist, and so I am more or less inclined to suggest all of society affects us much deeply than most people assume. Not everyone is affected to the same degrees, but we all are a product of society. Media is part of society and sends us constant messages. Many of us won't internalize them, but they will push us towards believing one thing or the other even if it is small amounts.

The simple fact of the matter is, you don't know how a person feels. You can't tell them whether or not they're in love; whether or not they're capable of being in "real" love as some people call it. Resultingly, I don't see it fair to go around saying to people, "You're not in love. You're too young. Too stupid." It's judgemental. It's assuming you know the person better than they know themselves. Which I would find particularly offensive if it were some stranger over the Internet.
I wouldn't dare to do so. I might ask a person, "Are you sure you're in love?" However, I would only ask that in order to promote self-contemplation since some do spit out the phrase without much thought. But if they say they are sure, then I will believe them. Love is a magnificent feeling. Even things that fall short of love are wonderful. I would never dare to steal those feelings from anyone. Let people be as they be.
 
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Instead of having this thread be "Why do people think teenagers can't feel love?" We can discuss our Opinions on how love has affected us,How we have known we were in love (A definitive moment perhaps?) How we feel generally about the concept of love and we could also discuss how sometimes love can be criminalized by society,Like with teenagers,but also with same-sex couples,couples of different races Etc. and how we feel about people criminalizing or harshly criticizing somebody's right to love (Which I personally find wrong).

No Disrespect to @ThatOne I actually really Like the idea of an INFP's Opinion on love,I just want to expand it and let us try and have a wonderful discussion : )
 

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There are different kinds of love. Teenage love is usually just a feeling without commitment. Although there can be exceptions. Centuries back, or even just the early 21st century many people got married in their teens. And their marriages lasted their whole life usually. My great grandmother, who I was fortunate enough to get to know before she passed away, married her husband at 14 and was with him all her life. It just depends on the person. In some ways, age is just a number. It's about maturity
 
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Yes teenagers can be in love. I believe some of the teenagers in their relationship and at that time do truely believe that they are in love and the other person is really their whole world. Part of it, is because of all their hormones changing not meaning that teenagers aren't sincere. And yes, there are also those teenage boys with changing hormones who just wants to get lays and tell the world about it. And who cares what the elders thinks. People talk, people think you can't change that about people so why worry about something that can't be fix.
 

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I see some talk about young love so I'm going to share my thoughts on that. Back when I was a teen, I think the only love I knew to exist was the unconditional love between me and my dad and the puppy love between me and the first boy I kissed. I call it puppy love because I was only 10 years old when I kissed him. I think it was definitely a form of love, but I wasn't near mature enough to know true love if that makes sense. The dynamic between me and this boy was out of this world. We had amazing chemistry and it made my dad cringe. This boy taught me how to skateboard and rollerblade. It helped out my coordination so much, but I've since forgotten. I do still have a pair of rollerblades for when I want to try again though! This boy and I walked over to the skating rink next to the complex (with parental permission) and that was probably the most memorab;e night of my life. He bought me a rose and we walked home and had our first kiss in the laundry room. :proud: My dad was a little worried because it was late and I had not come home yet so he was walking to the boy's apartment which was right next to the laundry room. Dad sees us kissing and drags me home. Haha. The boy was my best friend at the time. I often wonder if we'd be married had he not moved away. I always try to find him in facebook but never do. Maybe he was a dream. *le sigh*

To me, love is a very powerful feeling. In a mutual loving relationship, there should be no one person who has power over the other. They should be vulnerable in the presence of one another. Now, I'm no fool...I know lovers get angry at each other, but I think there's a right way to handle it. I think the right way is going to depend on the individuals involved. Some need the time to sleep on it and others just can't sleep if they are angry. For me, I want to resolve it then and there or I'm going to curl up in a ball and cry all night. I can't stand when people I love are angry at me.
 

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how love has affected You?
Personally When I was younger I fell deeply in love with my best friend,it was unrequited but very confusing to me at the time because he still showed interest,for a bit it really screwed with me and I didn't know what to make of it. I also was with a female once that loved me and I said I loved her but didn't,I felt really guilty.Then I was with a man that I thought loved me back but his love was more control,he made me believe all sorts of things especially that cheating is a normal thing in a relationship. I finally did find someone that truly I loved and loved me back the same way but in the end he wanted children and I wasn't ready at all for that.Love can vary,it can bewonderful and it can be toxic.

How have you known you were in love/or someone loved you (A definitive moment perhaps?)
You really do just feel it sometimes.I do remember one time I was sick and my ex really took care of me he was so sweet and he held my hair back as I puked and ever so gently stroked my neck and for some reason I just felt assured that right then and there I knew he loved me.

How do you feel about the concept of love ?

I feel like love is great when you actually find it.It's hard for some people because they desperately want to be in love,so they can trick themselves to believe they are and unfourtunately most of those times the other person probably does not love them back.Sometimes we rush too fast into love I feel like real love cannot be rushed.

Sometimes love can be criminalized by society Like with teenagers,same-sex couples,couples of different races Etc.,How do you feel about this?
I don't think anyone should tell any couple that their love for eachother is wrong
 

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My sisters started dating when they were 10, 11 and 12. Me? Not until I was 15. It was depressing. I used to think something was wrong with me (and I still do). In looks, personality. But trust me there is someone out there who appreciates you for you. Ironically enough the moment I stopped looking, the moment it happened. It'll happen when you least expect it, I'm told.
There's nothing wrong with you. I'm 23 and only relationships I've had have been online. And yes, stop looking and you shall find.
 
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I think words can lose their weight over time. Like the word "epic". Today it means "slightly better than average." And "extreme". Remember when people were "extreme"? It meant sometimes they drink coffee. : ) "Love" does gets tossed around a lot more than it used to. I was 22 when I first told someone I loved them. I was trembling when I said it. It was scary. And it scared her off for awhile. Today it's like "Yeah, ok whatever."
 
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Why do people say that the word "love" has lost its meaning, as if it's a big societal shift? Whyyyy? What are you even basing this on? Your short life span and the fact that getting older has given you more wisdom? Come on now. Not ragging on anyone in particular, but this seems to be a popular sentiment in discussions like this (though it hasn't really come up in this one).

Anyway, experience will tell you. Without personal experience I've nothing else to add.

EDIT: Though I do agree the word can lose its weight on a personal level. I am speaking strictly of those who believe this day and age is nothing but decay. Pffff.
 
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