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If someone does something bad to me, it sucks, but it doesn't bother me as much as seeing someone else hurt, even if I don't know that person. Like, I'd rather have a bully pick on me or have someone scratch my car or something, or even little stuff like flat tires and missed buses, than have it happen to someone else. It just makes me feel so much worse when it's someone else. I get worried and upset because I don't know how the person will react to it; I guess I just feel more comfortable when stuff happens to me because I know how I deal with things, and someone else might be really really hurt by something,a nd I wouldn't be able to fix it. And if something bad does happen, I feel guilty for not helping them even if there was nothing I could do. I just hate seeing other people suffer.

Anyone identify? Do you prefer your own pain to the pain of others?
 

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MOTM Dec 2011
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Posts like this make me wonder if I am INTP :tongue:

Short answer: No.

I am much more sensitive when it comes to my own feelings. Seeing other people hurt or embarrassed makes me uncomfortable and disturbs me to contemplate, but honestly, I can walk away and cease to think about it and go on with my day. It doesn't disturb my mood - if I was in a good mood, then I will revert back to it upon detaching myself from the situation. Part of the reason for this is that I manage to go through life a bit oblivious & in my own little world, so I am not much affected by the external unless it becomes personal.

I do find at times that I have an overwhelming sense of burden that comes out of nowhere. All of the little things that disturbed me, the problems of other people I have listened to, the injustice I have seen over the years, etc, can suddenly feel like one large weight on me. Since it is "collective", I can't pinpoint any specific source or cause for it to arise, but it gives me the feeling that the world is BAD; and I have anxiety thinking about it, because I feel some need to find an answer.
 

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I tend to feel offended at first, when someone criticizes me, but it fades away and I try to see if the person's got a point. If he doesn't tho, I just forget about it and show some kindness to the person. Usually, they cease to criticize me for stupid things, and instead on things i could work on, which I like.

But other people though, I feel a passionate call to start some kind of revolution for them you know? I've had images in my mind on rising communist states to having an intensive speech in front of college people, and having a heated, passionate guilt-focused monologue to the president before I rip a political poster of the person saying he'll bring about change. But, idk, nothing seems to happen, which just makes me feel somewhat pathetic and helpless.

I guess it's just part of the world, I tell myself, if i can't help, at least i knew they needed it.
 

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I totally relate.... Sometimes it seems like I can feel others pain... I just want to take it away. It's even worse when I feel completely powerless to help. And if I'm the cause of the pain.....it really, really, really bothers. me.
 

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Not to be judgmental or anything, but, if you can't help someone, no use being sad for it. I know it's hard, but it's the best thing to do. God knows I've tried and failed, but at least I know I tried. :p People need us, and I guess it won't be any help if we can't help ourselves out of suffering.
 

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i can't stand to see anyone else in serious psychological or physical pain. i can't watch holocaust or prison movies because they make me unbearably uncomfortable (not to mention angry as hell) and i figure i already am cynical enough about the human condition so there's no point in worsening it.

if it's minor pain it's fine, especially if it has comedic potential like, say, being hit in the head by a door. though it's still awkward if it's another person; if it's me in pain, it's ten times more hilarious. if it's me in psychological pain, it's about equal in terms of the empathy i'd feel for someone else. if it's me in serious physical pain, on the verge of emergency, that's probably the only instance in which i'm more concerned about me than the other person, if only because i have a hypochondriac streak and will probably be convinced by shock response that i'm going to die. in most cases though, i'm about 80/20 masochist/sadist.

but xenu help anyone who dares hurt someone i care about because my robot crusade kill switch goes off and i will divide and conquer.
 

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Depends on the person. It would kill me to see someone hurt my mom or insult my dad.. hell it makes me feel terrible typing the idea out. But most other people? I feel for them greatly, but not more than I feel for myself.
 

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Posts like this make me wonder if I am INTP :tongue:

Short answer: No.

I am much more sensitive when it comes to my own feelings. Seeing other people hurt or embarrassed makes me uncomfortable and disturbs me to contemplate, but honestly, I can walk away and cease to think about it and go on with my day. It doesn't disturb my mood - if I was in a good mood, then I will revert back to it upon detaching myself from the situation. Part of the reason for this is that I manage to go through life a bit oblivious & in my own little world, so I am not much affected by the external unless it becomes personal.

I do find at times that I have an overwhelming sense of burden that comes out of nowhere. All of the little things that disturbed me, the problems of other people I have listened to, the injustice I have seen over the years, etc, can suddenly feel like one large weight on me. Since it is "collective", I can't pinpoint any specific source or cause for it to arise, but it gives me the feeling that the world is BAD; and I have anxiety thinking about it, because I feel some need to find an answer.
Glad it's not just me.

I just think that if I don't have control over someone else's situation, there's no use being upset by it. When the situation presents me with something to do to relieve that person's pain, like they ask me for help, I will usually do so and feel good about it. But I don't let commercials of orphans tear me up inside, or become distraught simply because someone else is. (Actually I think this has to do with boundaries? I was under the impression that it was a good thing.)
 

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Posts like this make me wonder if I am INTP :tongue:

Short answer: No.
Iif I was in a good mood, then I will revert back to it upon detaching myself from the situation. Part of the reason for this is that I manage to go through life a bit oblivious & in my own little world, so I am not much affected by the external unless it becomes personal.



Same here for the most part, unless it's something truly horrible, or something happens to someone close to me, or it involves an animal or child, I can be pretty detached from people as a general rule...
 

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No problem about not feeling bad if you see someone in need and you can't help. At least you know the person needs help
 

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Completely depends and it's hard to identify why I'll fight so hard for some people (or care or feel for) and not others. But if that *certain something* in me does gets dinged.... I'm on them like white on rice.

Now -- husband/mom/dad/sister - they get a Free Pass at all times of Care & Defendingness.
 

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yeah im more likely to stick up for someone else than myself. I once went to a therapist who said to imagine myself as someone close to me that I feel protective over, if I didnt like it happening to them, then I shouldnt put up with it happening to me. It was quite eye opening.
 

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In most situations,I would say I am disturbed by seeing other people suffering as much as I am disturbed by my own pain.
I tend to be more empathic than the healthy dose of it and people can,easily,transmit me their feelings and emotions.
Seeing injustice or bad things happening to other people revolts me and not beeing able to help a person gives me a strong sentiment of guiltness.
I also feel the need to heal any emotional wound I intuit and it frustrates me a lot when I don't know how to do it.
Despite of this,I wouldn't offer myself as a volunteer for getting hurt with a smile on my face,but due to a certain sense of duty. I'm not proud to face it,but I'm weak.
 

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No problem about not feeling bad if you see someone in need and you can't help. At least you know the person needs help
That's an interesting perspective...simply recognizing there is a problem can be significant. You may not be able to help in a specific scenario, but the collection of these observances could one day inspire you to address those kinds of problems in general, & to seek a solution or some relief that could help more than just one individual. This to me, is the way idealism acts.
 

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It really depends on the person. I'm no bleeding, I will feel a little sympathy but that's it. It's only a few people who I will lose sleep for. To understand a person's pain for whom I care about I will automatically put myself in there position to try and come up with a better solution. I know all kinds of pain, I know how it feels, so if I care enough about the person I will go through great lengths to try and heal the pain.
 
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