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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Hi,

I am INFJ. English is not my first lang.

Why others ( like friends classmates or co-workers ) become insolent (rude or impudent) to me after awhile?

I think this is related to infj characteristics

thank you.
 

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MOTM October 2013
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I'm not sure; there could be a lot of reasons why they treat you that way.

Are they from the same country and culture as you?
 

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I'm not sure I know your situation but here's my response:

I've lived both in the U.S. and Asia so I know a little of what it's like to experience culture clash. I wouldn't sweat it too much. Sadly, some people simply don't know what it's like to speak a second language, and they think some things are funny that may be irritating to you. It's a clash of cultures, values, etc. and a whole lot of miscommunication/not understanding each other. I realize it may be very, very frustrating :/. The important thing is to hang in there and try not to take things too personally if you can (I'm not saying you are). Keep going, believe that people will come to understand you soon enough. You'll be a better person because of it :)
 

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Hi,

I am INFJ. English is not my first lang.

Why others ( like friends classmates or co-workers ) become rude or impudent to me after awhile?

I think this is related to infj characteristics

thank you.

Probably because they aren't very nice people? Idk. But something that I've managed to learn over the years is how others treat us doesn't matter, it's how we treat others that defines our character.
 

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First, it depends on the culture. Here my friends have a impudent way of treating each other, however, they are the best friends anyone could wish for (I'm dead serious :laughing:). Less mannerisms really can benefit a relationship. Second, once people get to know each other they begin treating others with less mannerisms and more on a buddy/pal basis.

This is because of one of two things: first, they really aren't the type that respects others (or are, they just show it differently, without stroking your feathers); second, they deem you unworthy of their respect. It can be that simple. The first depends more on the culture, the second one more on the individual.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I'm not sure I know your situation but ... because of it :)
Thank you for analysis

my point of view is about behavior and what i FEEL about their behavior . their behavior changes they ignore my speaking and cut and interrupt me and speak to other and gradually I lose my respect.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
First, it depends on the culture. Here my friends have a impudent way of treating each other, however, they are the best friends anyone could wish for (I'm dead serious :laughing:). Less mannerisms really can benefit a relationship. Second, once people get to know each other they begin treating others with less mannerisms and more on a buddy/pal basis.

This is because of one of two things: first, they really aren't the type that respects others (or are, they just show it differently, without stroking your feathers); second, they deem you unworthy of their respect. It can be that simple. The first depends more on the culture, the second one more on the individual.
But some times you Feel you lose your respect from your friend and also Feel that he thinks he is better and higher than you that you give him respect and care, so question is what is your reaction if you encounter such situation?
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 · (Edited)
I should explain more about the situation to make ir clearer :

my friend respects me in first meetings . after for example 3 or 4 meeting when he sees my easygoing simple compassionate personality and that Im trying to not bother him and I am very caring he thinks ( I can say ) that he is better than me and ignores me .....

this is my analyze , I love analyzing such situations .... ( counselor thing is working!! )
 

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I should explain more about the situation to make ir clearer :

my friend respects me in firsts meetings . after for example 3 or 4 meeting when he sees my easygoing simple compassionate personality and that Im trying to not bother him and I am very caring he thinks ( I can say ) that he is better than me and ignores me .....

this is my analyze , I love analyzing such situations .... ( counselor thing is working!! )
People always try to make themselves look better and nicer than they really are the first few times they meet someone new. Then they slack off. It doesn't necessarily mean they stopped liking you--more often there's other things now occupying their attention.

Also, when you're a quiet person, some people think that means you don't like talking and so they try not to bother you, and/or they assume you have nothing to say so they don't ask for your opinion as much.
 

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How about "maybe it's you, not them."?

Before I point my finger, I'd always ask myself this question. If it's one or two don't like me, I am not so bothered. If everyone I came into contact with gradually turn their back, it's most likely "me", not "them".

Unless I want to live in the cave for the rest of your life, cutting off contact with the world, I must learn to be cordial and accommodating to the larger population to work together and coexist.

Smile, making eye contact, saying hi, listening instead of talking, chipping in when a helping hand is needed, be a team player (conform but not losing your sense of self), in your mind and heart stay humble and loving. These are what I've been practicing. It isn't because I care too much to be liked socially, it's because I want to be a part of the world.

Also, don't let INFJ be your clutch. There's good reason revolution making the % of types to be what they are. Each type is needed to get part of the job done. INFJs occupy a tiny % but it isn't a reason to be on a high horse.
 
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