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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
By "complete," it can refer to a lot of things - "perfect," "successful," "personally strong," anything along those lines.

I've noticed that I often get comments or observations from friends that seem to suggest that they admire me in some way. They seem to see me as somebody who has reached "self-actualization," a psychological term used to signify when someone has reached their human potential. They sometimes talk to me about problems they have/advice they need on but then they also include, "but this isn't something that would bother you. you have confidence and you've succeeded in this realm." I also seem to inspire individual friends, who I've noticed have started to pick up on some of my hobbies and habits. I definitely don't think they are "copying" me, I just think that when they were observing me, their passion was re-sparked for something they already had in themselves. And multiple times, my friends have referred to my pursuit of my passion/interests in school and in my hobbies in comparison to what they view as their "incompleteness" in this area. The more direct ones just tell me flat out, "you inspired me to do this more!" but for the most part, I just pick up on this and it surprises me to see that I've had an impact on others.

So YEAH, that is what others have said about me, and a friend of mine actually psycho-analyzed me after taking a psychology class, which is where I learned about the term self-actualization. She actually wrote about me, because the professor assigned students to select someone they know they think best resembles a self-actualized person. And after this, I started viewing some of my interactions with my friends with this in mind. For ME, I see myself as full of complexes and things that need to be fixed, so I feel that I am always "actualizing" to a newer point. I have lapses of insecurity and I also have lapses where I'm unable to get over something (and I internalize it so much, that it takes me forever to move on). I have lapses where I get stuck in a rut of "this isn't fair, life isn't fair!" etc, and I always have "self-improvement" projects in mind. So it strikes me as funny that people see me as confident, well-grounded, and successful, when on the inside, I think that I have complexes and many issues.

Just wondering if any of y'all relate to this? Oh, and this overall seemingly paradox is usually only with friends that have moved into the inner circle zone. I usually don't talk about myself, so it's usually only after a few months or years that my friends find out about many of the things I do in terms of my activities and passions.
 

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I think self-actualization requires that one knows himself or herself very well. How can one actualize self if one doesn't really know what this self is? So then yes seemingly we arrive at a paradox that to live out your potential in life to its maximum you have to know yourself, to be very self-aware and introspective, but higher degree of self-awareness will also reveal every single little flaw you have.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for the insight, as always. :) I agree, a higher degree of self awareness (and subsequently self-actualization) also allows one to be more aware of one's flaws. I would like to think self-actualization is possible, but for me, I sort of see it as infinite -- like in math, when we see the line reaching the axis, it gets closer and closer and closer, but it never reaches the axis. I think it's part of the INFJ to always be pursuing potential in another area and always seeking to improve something. I am touched that my friend would think of me that way, although it's amusing. I spend 100% of my time with myself so in my eyes, my flaws are more magnified, whereas she spends about 2% of the time I have with myself.



P.S. ignore the labels for the X and Y axis, it was the best example i could find for now.
 

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Honestly INFJs always look perfect. Its rather creepy. Although they always look perfect on the inside most of them are actually pretty confused but hide it pretty well.
 

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Same here. One of my friends told me I had this ability to fulfill a person's true potential. I seriously flew back at the comment 'cause I knew deep inside me that I was a very insecure, complex person who's struggling with herself. Although that comment made me smile, I still had a :confused: face.

I definitely agree with vel. INFJ's are, in my opinion, paradoxes of human nature (although I now believe everybody is paradoxical in their own ways). We seek self-enlightenment, and yet when we are surrounded by people, we give out an enlightening response to them. I think it has something to do with our ability to open our ears to listen to them:happy: We are very keen in listening; an aspect very important to the process of learning one self and others.
 
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