Personality Cafe banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 2 of 2 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
14 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Would you mind sharing your expierences with me or giving me some tips?

My family consists now of 5 members (without myself and my dad), since my parents divorced. (This Info isn't really important since everything is the same just with exchanged people)
Okay, the main problem is that I, as an introvert, need some time for me alone to recharge, but i just can't, because there is always someone around me. I do have my own room and don't have to share it or something, but i constantly hear someone talking extra loud (despite that I'm the only one of them with a quiet voice -_-), footsteps and door-slamming all the time (all rooms are on one level) and sometimes even moaning... And my sisters boyfriend stays also everyday with us, so actually annoyed by 6 people. And my biological dad is quite similiar to my stepdad, so not much to mention here.

Well... Further, I'm a really reserved person, when it comes to my ''real self''. Aaaand.. music is a part of that and I would really like to sing my songs and play my guitar instead of my midi-keyboard while wearing headphones, but I'm afraid they hear me simply singing and what is going on in me. I know whom I'm living with and I don't like them. I don't hate them, i just don't find them interesting as persons and i figured early in my life that i can't really connect with anyone of them (step- and real family) because at the end, there were always disputs which left me mentally exhausted or ended up in laughing at me. I somehow do get along with everyone pretty good tho * thx to extrovert mask*. Except for my sister, I ''doorslammed'' her like 4 years ago, she is really someone I'm not interested in seeing ever again, but she also lives with us... I also try to avoid going home since I go 3-5 times in a week straightly to the gym after school and arrive at home around 8. I also avoid talking to them and it works because they are all thinking I'm just a shy, reserved guy. They surely don't know how I really feel, my acting is pretty good, i just hate to use it at home. I also cant stay at a friends house, because I don't have any kind of relationships that strong. Staying outside for the day isn't an option either because all the things I want to do and how I want to do them are requiering my computer and a bit loneliness.

I still have 3 years to go until I can apply for a job that pays enough for a tiny flat (19, student).
Also, that issue flows into my every day life off home. The fact that i can't even express myself at HOME, leaves me anxious about my real self everywhere. I can't even breathe normal when I'm sitting in the bus and listen to music. Also in class, when i sit next to someone I don't know. Especially in art class, where we have to express ourselves, and the fact that I'm sitting there next to the girl I'm interested in leaves me sometimes trembling and sweating. In moments like that I can't even use my extrovert-mask properly, which usually saves my life. And if I try to open up from alone, to get someone to know, I start trembling again, and really automatically pull up my mask and start to talk about superficial nonsense. The girl I'm interested in noticed that already, and im sure it didn't left a good image... But at least she doesn't dislike me.

I know theres a vent thread.., but I'm asking if someone has or had similiar problems, and how you overcome them.

I tried to keep it short, I'm sorry.
 
1 - 2 of 2 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top