Personality Cafe banner
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

· Registered
16 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I, as an INTJ, despise the way Emotions are used now a days. I believe they are tools that should be used only when necessary. Thus, I've had my Emotions caged up, and only using them when necessary. Along with it, might I add, went the need for instant gratification (the cause of nearly everything wrong in this world).

But, recently, I've been feeling more and more empty. Like something is missing, or as if something is restraining my movement. I don't have many problems in life (except for perhaps 1, but it's not that big a deal), and I generally don't care much about anything I deem unworthy. Of course, I have perhaps 2 or 3 things that I deem worthy enough, but those don't seem to help me much.

TL;DR I create this thread today for 2 reasons:

To get help.
To help others.

We as INTJ's are natural scientists, I think together (along with possibly other types), we can help solve our problems. So if any of you are comfortable with the idea, I am more than willing to give advice/an acorn of wisdom/help with anything. Basically; maybe we can be our own Psychologists. :/

If anyone is curious to help me, you can begin reading this next part, if not, you can skip it:

A few months (almost a year) ago, I had an unusual dream. Now I love analyzing my own dreams, but this one was extremely straightforward and its' message was clear enough for me. The story is basically me meeting a girl I like and we get together and such. I really enjoyed said dream, and I was really happy with this chick. Then the dream takes an odd turn when I duel a fat 12 year old kid (about 8 feet tall, possible over 300 pounds) in order to save the girl's life (because at the time, he was choking her to death with his mammoth hands). It was like picking through an iceberg with a toothpick, but I somehow saved the girl.

The meaning of the dream (most likely) is that I'm worried about being fat or something would ruin my future relationships (I was fat around that time), and etc. But what I was sure of was, I wanted to meet this girl. Something just told me to look for her.

Ironically, the dream was fairly specific. She told me nearly everything but her name. She was Asian (Chinese, actually), was a dancer or something of the sorts, and had black hair, all I needed. I took off to Chinatown (NYC; Manhattan) everyday after school, using soccer as my excuse (because Chinatown is a center of attention for soccer). Eventually, a good 4 months or so had passed, I lost the weight and I had no luck- I, thus, ended up just forgetting about it.

Ironically, around the 4th or 5th month, here I am, riding the D train (the one that takes me to Chinatown) after school, and there she is. Just sitting there.

I, of course, grow shocked and confused. First thing that happened was that my Alter ego/voice/whatever-this-is-irrelevant reminds me of the girl, which leads to the next part; complete loss of my emotional grip.

I literally roared at the sky in my mind as a sudden case of analysis paralysis kicks in. There was so many things I could have done, but none that could have given me anything better than a 50/50 chance. I didn't want a 50/50 deal. I wanted a 100/0. Of course, even then I realized that wasn't possible (bloody instant gratification clouded my judgement as well).

I (being religious), prayed and left the decision to God. Whether to... do something (Hell knows what), or to forget about it. Of course, because I'm no Sexy beast riding a White Stallion and my Logic/Judgement was COMPLETELY unusable at the time (something that has never occurred to me), I was hoping he'd give me something obvious like an idiot, such as a giant billboard that said "YES GO FOR IT" or some robber I could beat up for her.

I got nothing like that. So I said "OH WELL, God doesn't think it's right. No point in torturing myself further," and got off at my stop.

Funny thing is, almost as soon as I got off, a song called "Mistake" by SNSD started playing. This made me curious, thus I looked at the list of songs that played from when I got on the train and saw her, to the part where I got off. The list was as follows:

Talk Talk by SNSD (I mean SERIOUSLY)
Look at me also by SNSD (Keep in mind that this is a Korean Girl group, singing from a feminine perspective)
If Solo/ballad by Taeyeon [a member of SNSD] (How many times has SNSD popped out now?)
Flower Power By SNSD (Thing here is the word Flower... Also used to describe women, no?)
Mistake by SNSD (If the Title doesn't explain this enough...)

Then when I realized, a song called Sad so Often by Dasoni (Sub-group of EXID) started playing, which, as you could assume, is a sad ballad.

Such an odd coincidence that, despite my playlist being set to shuffle, that these songs (excluding SsO) start to play.

Long story short I was crushed. Clearly the signs were there, but I wasn't paying attention.

I have another dream with her a few months later, in which she is taken by a friend of mine (and she is now Japanese). But... Well... Yeah.

She still pops into my mind randomly (usually because that other voice in my head just randomly feels the need to bring her up at least once or twice everyday). I don't tend to linger on things, especially when they are all said and done- I screwed up, no point in crying about it now. But could it be possible that this is the cause of my recent and sudden depression? I'd like to hear some opinions on what I should have done/what I could do now/what I should do later in the future. Do you think its regret I'm feeling? Or do you think my depression could be coming from elsewhere (because, as I said, I don't tend to linger on things that have happen, no matter how hurtful or depressing because I consider it meaningless)?

And feel free to be as open and as blunt as you please. I won't be offended in the slightest.

· Registered
16 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
My dreams tend to be very special to me, because usually I can find my answer to problems, and even ideas for something like stories, poems, and such.

And as for the emotion thing, the point isn't to "tuck them away", I simply mean to limit them so they don't cloud judgement. Basically: to use them when they are truly required.

And yeah, those are small problems I do tend to encounter, other than the Perfectionism and the seeking of others. But those are common among INTJ's... Right?

· Registered
16 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
By tools, I simply mean just that, tools. Like, using controlled anger as a strength boost, happiness as a method to pat yourself on the back after a victory, and etc.

I apparently have to post 15 times before I can use the PM system here- this site it strict. :/

· Registered
16 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I think that emotions aren't tools at all, they are natural reactions and moral/ethical guides, some learned some inherent (although there's an argument all by itself, nature vs nurture). The way they emerge are from the rational or irrational way people act upon them (behavioural). I think they need to be understood rather than repressed.
Personally, I believe the terms "repressed" and "controlled" are 2 different words with completely different meanings. But I do understand what you're saying (it's actually quite a reoccurring perspective I get from several people; you happen to be the first INTJ I've met that believes this.

I agree that constant mainstream media and such aren't healthy tools to convey emotion as it spews emotional contagion and hysteria which tries to force the passive viewer to be driven to a point of view.
Personally, I believe it's been conveying the idea that Instant Gratification is the answer to most if not all our problems. I see it as the reason for most if not all of Society's issues. Emotions usually go hand in hand with Instant Gratification. In fact, all the senses go hand in hand with IG. Humans are greedy in nature and thus try to find a way to gratify themselves ASAP. Usually, Emotions play a big role, and thus, because people are obsessed with IG, they get caught up in Emotions easily- why control is required.

Mainstream media does play a major role, yes. Really, everything current now only exists to attract IG. Look at something like the term YOLO for example. You Only Live One. That's basically the new official excuse for someone to do as they would please; IOW, to gratify themselves as soon as possible because "hey, I will only live once! Might as well [insert idiotic action here] at lease once before I die!".

I also don't think that INTJs are natural scientists. I think they may be natural lateral thinkers but that is not scientific at all.
All based on perspective, my friend. :)

I myself, don't really have a preference in this matter. I am what I am, I am an INTJ, and I know for a fact that I was born to be a Scientist of some sort. It's never for the same for everyone.

But in the end, we all still use the same forum. And I still have the same problem.

I think you need to know yourself a little better to understand what your emotions are. It may help you feel a little more balanced and less let down. Stick around the forum, write more in general, and see where the patterns are where you start to feel drained or empty. Some here may have pointers on how they deal with similar issues which may help.

I do plan on sticking around this forum. I hope to get into interesting debates and grow more as a person. I do already write and challenge/analyze myself everyday. I'm always finding new things.

But something still feels... empty. And it's like the more I think about it, the more I feel... old. :/

I'm a Hispanic 17 year old who hangs out with College students. I feel like I'm older than what I am. Heck, it feels like I should be settling down already and having kids- aw crap, there it is. I'm feeling the feeling again.

I think this might be my problem. Maybe I'm rushing myself too fast. .______.
I already daydream about having children and living on my own and studying in college and etc. Is that wrong of me?
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.