[productsoflife]

Okay, let me start by saying hello to all of you lovely folks. So, hello there.

I have recently gotten into a relationship of sorts with a ENFJ guy. Nothing's wrong, at all. I adore him, and he actually asked me to marry him. That scares me a little bit though. I mean, I am all for settling down with someone, and for that someone to be him would be absolutely brilliant. I wonder though, if he's just jumping the gun. I don't want him to do something he'll regret. I mean, to be honest most of my family doesn't even know we're going out yet. I know I'm a very cautious person to begin with, I think it may just scare me because I don't understand how he can feel so strongly about something so quickly. I always take my time to decide what I feel for sure, but I have some trouble with understanding my emotions. I've gotten a whole lot better on that front since being with him.
I'm sorry for rambling. Anyway, I just want to know what other ENFJ's feel about the matter, is he being hasty, or is that just how most of you work? I know not everyone is the same, but 'ya know.

 

[Tyche]

I can't speak for other ENFJs because I'm pretty sure this isn't something we all can agree on. I don't know how long you've been dating, what your connection is like... Really, I have no way to determine an answer in direct correlation with your situation. So I'll just talk about my feelings and thoughts

I fall in love very quickly. With my current relationship, I was talking as friends with him for a couple months (we met here, so I got to know him through his posts and PM's) and I was already falling for him. Once I realized that I had deep feelings for him, it was only another month or two before I knew for certain I was in love with him. We've been friends for about 8 months now and have been in a relationship together for 6 months. Though I was the first to say I love you, he was the first to mention marriage (as it should be IMO, I'm a little traditional in that sense). He mentioned it to me maybe about 3-4 months ago and we also recently started talking about it a little more seriously. But that's wayyyy down the line for us anyway. We still have to meet for the first time before we can even begin to take it completely seriously :3

Anyway, that's my deep and personal post for the day

 

[oneplustoo]

I have friends who rush into marriage, I have to know someones heart and mind inside and out before I would marry them, and that takes time.

But I've never fallen head over heels for someone, and I'm sure that changes things and speeds things up.

 

[JakeDK]

Marriage is a serious matter for me too. I want to be sure when I marry someone that I am going to stick with that person for the rest of my life. My view on divorce is very negative. However I do fall head over heels.

I could see myself doing the same thing as your boyfriend. Just tell him that you could see yourself marrying him but you would like to wait because you have to feel ready for it.. I don't know your age or education but there could also be logistics that should be settled first..

So just give him the comfort of letting him know that you could see your future in a marriage with him..

Remember that we get extremely excited about people possibilities.. So he is probably imagining a perfect future for the two of you together, all happy and in the pink clouds..

 

[lizrcasanova]

I am not sure any of us can appropriately answer this. I can't decide if he is being hasty. It is true that we idealize relationships and people, so that is likely occurring. Yet, you guys really may be great together and made for the long haul.

As an ENFJ, I am not similar to your man regarding marriage. I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years (never broken up ). If it were up to him, we would have been married 2 years ago. But a part of me just doesn't see marriage as a necessity. And another party of me fears it.

So after I just wrote this out, I feel like I did not give you much helpful advice. Damn.

Sending you guys warm wishes!