Personality Cafe banner
1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
202 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I haven't many friends at this point in time, though I've had my share of "friendships". Reflecting on the past, I find that after I figure someone out....like the deepest aspects of someone's character, I often float away from the friendship. It's almost like I learn all I can about the person, figure out how it applies to my view of the world, and incorporate it into new way of thinking I take up afterwards.

I use this newfound knowledge to strengthen my view/understanding of others with similar feats. I then move on.....

Does anyone else have this problem? Am I just a sociopath or something of the sort? I'm very picky about whom I choose to befriend....Is this typical among INFP's? or NF's in general?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,947 Posts
People come into and go out of my life as I do theirs. I think this is simply normal. Right now I am blessed to have a large number of wonderful friends who I don't expect to let go of. But it took me a long time to find this tribe.

Sometimes I've wondered over the years how the people I've drifted away perceive me, until I realize they probably never think about me as they are living their own lives. And I suppose I accept that it's ok.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
882 Posts
Why is this a problem?

The only problem I see is if you think you can 'figure someone out' to some ultimate end. No one really knows anybody else. Sure, understanding someone's motivations, desires and aspirations comes naturally when we share company, but why would you assume you've reached some final conclusion regarding someone's character? That sounds like hubris.

I understand what you mean about outgrowing people. Priorities shift, interests diverge and relationships, like everything else, change...but that is life.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
23 Posts
I can kinda see what you are talking about, since I haven't made any new close friends for almost 5 years now. My best friend I met at kindergarten and I met my second closest friend the first year at my gymnasium (that is when I was 16). I can make some new friends here and there, at work and such, but it never goes as far as I'd consider it a true friendship. My two friends I have now are perfect for me and it has made me extremely picky about what friends I make. As soon as I notice a quirk that I think might annoy me in the long run, I kinda distance myself from that person.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,324 Posts
I want to continue to experience, learn, grow and evolve, who I am today is not who I will be weeks or months from now. When I keep evolving it's hard to go back to the old me, the person my old friends wanted and expected me to be, I had to be someone I wasn't to fit the role that I played in their life. Overtime I grew tired of this and severed these friendships. Now I seem to have trouble letting people into my life, letting them get to know the real me, I'm great with acquaintances but as soon as they feel comfortable enough to ask personal questions I'm gone, nice to know ya.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
882 Posts
I want to continue to experience, learn, grow and evolve...letting them get to know the real me, I'm great with acquaintances but as soon as they feel comfortable enough to ask personal questions I'm gone, nice to know ya.
This seems a bit counter-intuitive? I don't like people seeing through my facade, but at the same time I understand that I do it to everyone else, so it's maybe a good thing in the long run? It makes me feel exposed, which obviously isn't very nice, but it's also a great way of speeding up self growth - the wisdom of other people and all that jizz.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
202 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Why is this a problem?

The only problem I see is if you think you can 'figure someone out' to some ultimate end. No one really knows anybody else. Sure, understanding someone's motivations, desires and aspirations comes naturally when we share company, but why would you assume you've reached some final conclusion regarding someone's character? That sounds like hubris.

I understand what you mean about outgrowing people. Priorities shift, interests diverge and relationships, like everything else, change...but that is life.
Perhaps I should've chose my words more carefully. I meant, once I find out more about a person like their motivations, aspirations, etc... and I look at where it is I wish I be later in life recognizing our differences I begin to stray away.

Looking back on my past friendships; most of my past friends are still in the same situation they were when I was close with them. Such is life, true, however I would argue the difference being I matured in ways they simply have not. Therefore, outgrowing them.

To understand the entirety of one's character requires much more then empathy, introspective glances, and an understanding of one's emotions....One must ACTUALLY walk in the shoes of another person.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Laeona
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top