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Outside Looking In...

952 Views 8 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  Shadow1980
Greetings All! :happy:

For some time now, I can't really recall how long, I've been feeling kinda strange and I can't seem to pin down the cause. Most days, I feel as if I'm on the outside looking in at my life. I don't really feel like myself..or, at least, I don't feel like the "normal" me I remember from a few years ago. I feel like I'm inside my mind and my body, but it doesn't feel like *me* for some reason. I wish I could think of a more eloquent way to describe the sensation, but words are failing me at the moment. I've been struggling with self-esteem and self-confidence issues for quite a while...maybe years of doubt and negativity directed toward myself have finally snapped something loose inside my mind.

Thought / opinions? Any and all will be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance
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I'm a gay ENFJ also. I came out very quickly after I realized I'm gay because I couldn't handle feeling like your describing. I also didn't want to lie to people. I bet you are feeling this way because you are in the closet. It's a very floating on top of yourself looking down type feeling. I felt completely disconnected from my body. It can do major damage to your self-esteem to stay in the closet too.

Don't feel bad about yourself. It's just who you are. Some people are male, some are female, some black, some're gay. It's alright. People that don't understand it are just ignorant. Similar to race and other minority stigmas, someday people will get it and it won't be a big deal at all.

I bet you'll be surprised at how well people respond. People are surprisingly kind sometimes.

If you need to talk, message me. :) You aren't alone, even though you may feel alone.
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Also, I don't want to be too blunt, but your gay martyr "bearing the burden of your sexuality" for your parent thing is total b.s. you are telling yourself. You aren't protecting anyone from anything. You are just scared to come out. Just do it. You'll feel a billion times better. :)
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