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O.K maybe it's just my problem but does anyone else have a problem with being too polite? To the point where you simply hold back anything you say, even when it's good? And think way too much about what the other person might be thinking...actually more like being concerned about what they're thinking before they're thinking?

It hasn't always been a problem for me but it's becoming much more of a problem than before. I'd like to break out of my shell and crack a joke or two (no pun intended) without being concerned about offending the other person. The only time I don't do that is writing/IMing but even then I can get a bit concerned (although I don't give a damn when I write fiction). Don't get me wrong, being polite and caring is a very important thing. But I think for some people, especially most INFPs I know, being polite gets to the point to where they probably turn people off more than anything.

So anyways, I was wondering if anyone had a solution of overcoming fear of how others would react. And more importantly, if they used that solution and it's worked well for them. I would put this in the advice column but as I said before, this problem seems to be more with INFPs than anyone else.

Also, sorry if my grammar or syntax is a bit off, since I'm a little tired. But I will edit it tomorrow. See, I did it again:dry:
 

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i'm alwasy way to polite with new people. i don't want to be a bother or impose so i'll jsut keep quiet. this is a major problem with girls i crush on. talk to them a few times then start liking them. to polite to even talk to them. to me the imagine of some rude loud asshole is the LAST THING i want to be. but like most of my fears i overdo it and i'm to polite in the end.
 

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Always. Sometimes I would like to speak up and say things that are on my mind to make conversation with people, but I don't know how they would react. One instance that stands out to me is in school when we were learning about some book in English class and the teacher was explaining how one of the female characters had been with a lot of men in some point in the book. I wanted to say out loud "choo-choo!" but I didn't. I thought either no one would get it or it would be too offensive. When I explained that to my friends later they said I should've said it because it was funny.
 

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First off, I must say - Birdbot FTW! I love Megaman Legends and The Misadventures of Tron Bonne, haha. Servbot has always been one of my favorites. =P

And, I always have this problem. What I've found is, just observe what a specific person thinks is funny, then when the chance arises and you think of a joke, just say it. It boosts confidence. For instance, one time I met a new acquaintance within my group of friends, and I was relatively shy. For some reason, she got irritated at her phone and viciously threw it across the yard. I said in a very polite manner, "you dropped your phone," and everyone died of laughter. You just gotta get a vibe of what's funny to certain people, it's pretty hard to explain. Sometimes I think though, screw if they think I'm funny or not, I don't want to be friends with someone who doesn't share my sense of humor anyways.
 

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Strangely from a family with very aggressive brothers I've had little need to vent - but at times people should be told to go and fuck themselves - not in a pro-active way but in a reactive way when they are messing you around
 

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I start out polite and then I sort of feel the waters out a little by exposing some of my 'real self'. It's usually pretty apparent if the person gets me or not. I probably show my real self a little too much in an effort to connect, then end up regretting it, fearing that I came across as a critical, misanthrope or anxious, fuzzy minded pseudo intellectual.
 

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I loved The Misadventures Of Tron Bonne. @[email protected]

And I'm ALWAYS polite. Even if someone insults me. It's different over the internet and even a bit different over the phone, but mano e mano? People can just walk over me without me defending myself. <_<
 

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I used to apologise to everyone. Now I take back most of my apologies after I make them :p
 
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Haha, I hear something similar from my friends a lot: "Stop being so polite! Don't sorry all the time!" :crazy:
I don't know, all sorries and politeness just comes naturally to me although I see that it can be annoying. :laughing:
 

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Yessssss, and that shit can choke you uuuup! Ugh. I've had this problem for some time. First, since I was a kid, I knew I was polite; but then, I knew I was too polite; then, I realized I said sorry and thanks wayyyyy, way too much; and now, I'm trying to cut down. I'm trying not to let it keep a wall up too in general conversation. I've never actually offended anyone (to the point that I remember it, anyway), so I don't know what I'm so afraid of. Most people aren't that polite in the first place and probably aren't half as worried about manners as I am.
 

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I remember when somebody asked me for something and someone else said "Don't ask him, he's too nice" in an attempt to protect me from being taken advantage of. I couldn't exactly remember what it was, though. I also apologized to someone after they pointed out to me that I had toilet paper hanging from the back of my pants after a trip to the restroom. The funny thing was that I was standing rather upright with my hands on my hips when that happened. Luckily it was at a retirement home and nobody seemed to mind so I wasn't too embarrassed. Sorry for going on a tangent. :crazy:
 

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I'll tell you guys the same thing I tell my INFP wife and mother. If you weren't the cause of whatever happened, you don't have to be sorry for it and by apologizing for it you take ownership of the fault.

I'm polite to people as a matter of principle but, I also have no problems with telling someone to f' off when needs be (what the ibex is doing). You guys just need a little boost of self confidence. :happy:
 

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I'll tell you guys the same thing I tell my INFP wife and mother. If you weren't the cause of whatever happened, you don't have to be sorry for it and by apologizing for it you take ownership of the fault.

I'm polite to people as a matter of principle but, I also have no problems with telling someone to f' off when needs be (what the ibex is doing). You guys just need a little boost of self confidence. :happy:
I'm actually heading the other way and NOT apologising for things I KNOW I have done wrong - most are trivial trespasses (anything major and I would apologise) and let's face it if you're a typical INFP you've probably over-used your quota of saying sorry
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