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Discussion Starter #1
What personally pains my mind the most is all of the beautiful daydreams I create which never come true.

I know you'll think I mean dreams of fairies, Utopias and flying, (I dream of those too of course..) but I'm talking about realistic future situations, if you get what I mean. For example, I'll think up in detail something to do, or say to,this person the next day, but then they'll be ill or something. That's not a great example, but yeah. That sort of thing.

Anyway, it seems as though anything I think up or imagine will NEVER come true. Not even close. The complete opposite in fact, like a curse! Maybe that's a good thing, and even better things will happen that can't hope to be imagined! :D I am doubtful though, because usually everything turns out worse.. I think it could just be our idealist nature.. I don't know. But at the moment I'm trying to trick my mind by thinking up more negative things in hope of the opposite occuring, but I soon revert to old habits.. :( My mind creates far to happy a thought for my liking.

Yes, I am crazy, but I know that, so whatever :p Anyways, do any of you have similar experiences? Or, referring to the actual title, does your mind pain you in any other way? It would be interesting to know :)
 

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I admire your cleverness in trying to beat the system by tricking your mind into negativity in order to produce the opposite. :) But, as you probably already know, you and I aren't built for that sort of thinking. I understand your pain. For many years, in my work, I've imagined and pursued so many idealistic plans that just haven't materialized and left me feeling futile and frustrated. I mean, why would I even have this "gift" if it doesn't really make a dent in my circumstances?

I wish I had answers for that. But I can say this... there are many many of those idealistic plans that, if I had actually achieved them, would have actually been bad for me in the long run. I know that sounds wrong, but sometime failure results in our long-term good. And when I've bowed my head and accepted that truth, something good will come to take it's place that is actually much better for me. Not always right away, and not ever the way I would have executed it, but it is much better. I realize this takes faith to accept, but I see it happening all the time.

Don't stop dreaming my friend. Dream, act, adjust, and dream again.
 

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Story of my life. Only thing you CAN do is learn to live with the disappointment of having fantasy not match reality.
 

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I think it's funny that you use the phrase "it pains my mind" - the kind of pain you are referring to, I sometimes experience in the middle of my chest, or my heart, or my soul. Well, the funny thing is, I'm not even sure if there's such a thing as the soul, lol. So my pains must be in my mind as well xD

Anyway, it seems as though anything I think up or imagine will NEVER come true. Not even close. The complete opposite in fact, like a curse! Maybe that's a good thing, and even better things will happen that can't hope to be imagined! :D I am doubtful though, because usually everything turns out worse.. I think it could just be our idealist nature.. I don't know. But at the moment I'm trying to trick my mind by thinking up more negative things in hope of the opposite occuring, but I soon revert to old habits.. :( My mind creates far to happy a thought for my liking.

Yes, I am crazy, but I know that, so whatever :p Anyways, do any of you have similar experiences? Or, referring to the actual title, does your mind pain you in any other way? It would be interesting to know :)
When you are imagining stuff, that is probably your Ne at work. When whatever it is that you're imagining is in line with your personal values (your Fi, so to speak), it makes you happy. That is not you being crazy, that is you using your imagination to 'dream' of happy things. And hey, why shouldn't you? ^^ It is a nice thing, to have dreams, and even better, when you can make them come true. :3

Your talk about tricking your mind to think up negative things is a creative idea ^^ In a way, it is like lowering your expectations: if you expect the worst, then it can only get better - yunno that kind of thinking.

It is no wonder then that you 'revert' to old habits, because your mind probably sees through your trick ;) And to me, it sounds like it is in your nature to be happy, or it's your mind's nature to think of happy things.

Hold on to your happy thoughts and dreams and imagination, I'd say. ^^
 
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Definitely relatable.

I also have this thing where the idealist in me wants these dreams and hopes and fantasies to come true like crazy... but then a part of me loves the sadness and the pain (tragedy in some cases even, if that doesn't sound too over-the-top) that comes with knowing I can never have them. It kills me. But I love it. That sort of pain makes me feel so alive. One of the only things that truly does, to be honest. I always figure that these things couldn't possibly be as wonderful and fulfilling and perfect as they are in my mind anyway...

I'd say that the downside is that it's made me into quite the wallower, who gets some sort of weird fulfilment out of stewing in my own sadness.

Yep, I'm nuts. :p
 

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Definitely the same. A lot of my dreams and ideas are just that - dreams and ideas. I kind of somehow feel like I've projected a giant dream of my life into the present in that I'm living the life I hope to without living it. Usually that's a very good way to "visualize" and to make ones dreams more real but it only really serves to make me feel distressed, scared and upset since I know that the present obstacles and the future ones are lying in wait and some seem insurmountable. Not to mention the last time I had such a plan it ended up failing horribly. I try not to dwell on that but the thought is still there, floating... Mocking

I try to be optimistic about things and look forward to see how they could play out but it... It's hard to keep digging for gold when all you keep pulling up is mud... Kind of like one of those haunted houses where you're walking around and trying to find the exit without any light or any map.

I feel trapped :(.
 

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You don't have to say no to your happy daydreams. At the most, if you find yourself too fixated in your imagination, then you would just have to regulate them. Some quotes I find useful (incidentally, from the same author):

"Some of your philosophers say a thing is not true for you until it is true in thought, word, and deed."

"Remember the triangle - the Holy Trinity: spirit-mind-body. Conceive-create-experience."

Envisioning something better is a good thing. What we really need to do, instead of stopping our daydreams, is to put them in action. I imagine the gift of INFPs, and possibly all NFs, is the ability to imagine a better future in their heads. What we really need to work on is acting on our visions. I think action is more natural to S/ES/ExxJ types, or something like that :p (although here I'm just generalizing things. I'm sure everyone is a case in themselves), but we can learn to develop that habit too.

What might help is daydreaming more about what you can be or do. That way you have a goal towards which you can work, and through that, grow in the process. We can't control what others do, but we can decide what we want to do.
 
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Discussion Starter #8
I think it's funny that you use the phrase "it pains my mind" - the kind of pain you are referring to, I sometimes experience in the middle of my chest, or my heart, or my soul. Well, the funny thing is, I'm not even sure if there's such a thing as the soul, lol. So my pains must be in my mind as well xD
Well the problems all seem to start in my mind so I think it deserves to suffer the consequences >D Although my body and soul (yes souls are definitely real! :D ) are obviously connected with the mind, arguably the same thing, so they unfortunately suffer too :(

When you are imagining stuff, that is probably your Ne at work. When whatever it is that you're imagining is in line with your personal values (your Fi, so to speak), it makes you happy. That is not you being crazy, that is you using your imagination to 'dream' of happy things. And hey, why shouldn't you? ^^ It is a nice thing, to have dreams, and even better, when you can make them come true. :3

Your talk about tricking your mind to think up negative things is a creative idea ^^ In a way, it is like lowering your expectations: if you expect the worst, then it can only get better - yunno that kind of thinking.

It is no wonder then that you 'revert' to old habits, because your mind probably sees through your trick ;) And to me, it sounds like it is in your nature to be happy, or it's your mind's nature to think of happy things.

Hold on to your happy thoughts and dreams and imagination, I'd say. ^^
Yep, I think I was in a bit of a strange mood thinking that negative thoughts would make me happier... I've always thought that our energy flow is like a rusty tap: Positive energy is running water, and when the tap is on, the positive energy can flow nice and easy out. Almost limitlessly. However, if we decide to turn off the tap with negative thoughts, it is quite hard to twist the handle back on again. Not impossible, but certainly harder than if the tap were already on :p

Of course, imagination is the most powerful tool in the universe! And really it is stupid of me trying to turn the tap off, it will only end in drought.

So, @Vin The Dreamer, you suggest being more self absorbed than I already am?? I swear that's nigh on impossible haha XD No, it's actually a really good point :) Because, like you said, really the only thing you can change is yourself. The problem is that most ideals (well mine at least) involve the world at large and other humans too.. But I guess you're saying that we need to figure out a way in which we picture ourselves changing the world and how and what we would do? That is very logical come to think of it... Thanks :) Just hard to put into practise I guess.. How do you do it?
 

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I (used to) regularly do this, but recently, the habit has subsided. I've kind of given up on constructing future situations directly of reality in my head, since they seem only to obscure what is in front of me with the allure of fantasy.

Since then, the daydreams that I have are of my own constructed worlds with characters that exist solely in my head, and oftentimes, they take on characteristics of people I know. So I can still imagine scenarios by pulling these similar characters and having them interact in a certain manner without directly raising my expectations of reality; it's kind of a win-win situation. If it doesn't happen, then I don't get disappointed; rather, it might become a permanent piece of the characters' respective world and story. :happy: And if something similar does happen - well, all the better for me, right?

It's kind of like your attempt at tricking your brain by thinking negatively. I trick my brain by resetting the context. But because I do that, I open everything up to possibilities and observe the things that can occur without having to integrate myself too deeply. It does tend to have a more fantastic feel to it than what you describe, and there are a lot of differences that arise by doing this, yes, but it is as close as I can get as of now. And I'm content with it.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I (used to) regularly do this, but recently, the habit has subsided. I've kind of given up on constructing future situations directly of reality in my head, since they seem only to obscure what is in front of me with the allure of fantasy.

Since then, the daydreams that I have are of my own constructed worlds with characters that exist solely in my head, and oftentimes, they take on characteristics of people I know. So I can still imagine scenarios by pulling these similar characters and having them interact in a certain manner without directly raising my expectations of reality; it's kind of a win-win situation. If it doesn't happen, then I don't get disappointed; rather, it might become a permanent piece of the characters' respective world and story. :happy: And if something similar does happen - well, all the better for me, right?

It's kind of like your attempt at tricking your brain by thinking negatively. I trick my brain by resetting the context. But because I do that, I open everything up to possibilities and observe the things that can occur without having to integrate myself too deeply. It does tend to have a more fantastic feel to it than what you describe, and there are a lot of differences that arise by doing this, yes, but it is as close as I can get as of now. And I'm content with it.
I imagine that allows you to detach yourself emotionally, whilst enjoying a unique, exciting and never ending story?! What a wonderful solution! The only problem is that I guess if you constantly lived in a complete fantasy then our huge imaginations couldn't come up with the all of the real life ideas that could make the world a better place... Although these ideas rarely take shape, possibly leaving us even more depressed.. So I am definitely going to try out your idea. Sounds great, thanks!
 

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Yep, I guess, for motivational purposes, being a bit self-absorbed can be a good thing ;)

Just hard to put into practise I guess.. How do you do it?
^^; *laughs nervously* I'm also pretty hanged up on this part. Action is kinda my weak point too. Would you like another quote?

"Action is a word that can imply "work" to some people, but inspired action will not feel like work at all. The difference between inspired action and action is this: Inspired action is when you are acting to receive. If you are in action to try and make it happen, you have slipped backward. Inspired action is effortless, and it feels wonderful because you are on the frequency of receiving.

Imagine life as a fast-moving river. When you are acting to make something happen it will feel as if you are going against the current of the river. It will feel hard and like a struggle. When you are acting to receive from the Universe, you will feel as if you are flowing with the current of the river. It will feel effortless. That is the feeling of inspired action, and of being in the flow of the Universe and
life.

[...]The Universe likes speed. Don't delay. Don't second guess. Don't doubt. When the opportunity is there, when the impulse is there, when the intuitive nudge from within is there, act. That's your job. And that's all you have to do."
Although to accept this you have to agree with the concept that our thoughts actually influence the universe to some degree (which might actually comfort some INFPs). The quote is from the Secret.

If you have trouble getting up to do something or working on a goal, there are systems like Cold Turkey, Pomodoro, and Simpleology that can help get you going. If you just want to have a better picture of how you want to change the world, maybe you can take a look into Creative Visualization. Other than that, I can't give much advice besides be brave, take baby steps, and try to step out of your comfort zone.

Either way, it is true thoughts can influence our behavior to at least some degree, so if you just want to stick to Vox's suggestion, it'll probably help you grow too. :proud:
 

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I often have conversations and jokes with people in my mind. Then when I meet them in real life, the moment is not there. Or when I try to speak what was in my mind, it comes of as retarded. It's just never as funny. It is painful. I have prepared the perfect speech to tell the girl I love her many, many times. When she looks at me, I crumble. It is painful.

I am basically thinking about writing the whole day, and it is great, but it is so hard to actually sit down and do some writing, fear for failure. Or, what was so perfect in my head, I can't get on paper somehow. The urge is there, so much, everything I do that is not writing, will be experienced as trivial. It is painful.

I often laugh out loud out of nowhere, it pains me I can't share it with anyone.

Yes, I share your pains. On the other hand, it is quite a rich and full experience.
 
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